Today in Tahoe, Isabel carried a real carrot around ALL day, because she wanted to save it to make a snowman (she was inspired by Frozen's character Olaf). Her childhood innocence set upon me a melancholic spirit. She is so happy and curious about the world, which I used to be.

It's like I can't talk to anyone anymore because I know it's not going to last. I miss being someone who used to trust and open up to others easily. It's taken me so much to get this far. Now I just want to close myself off to the world. I can't trust anyone anymore. I can trust my boyfriend, but that's only for now; we're going to end sooner than we expect, and that scares me. I haven't been able to turn to anyone in awhile besides him.