• "get out of my face with your ball pinching!" - dan gustina.
  • [said with strong, and possibly awful, southern accent]"that's just rude... throwing a wagon in the river that ain't even yours." - katie youmans.
  • jacqui [speaking of gummi krabby patties]: "maybe it is a hamburger, or maybe a ham sandwich." // me: "no, it's a krabby patty." // jacqui: "eww, that shit's supposed to be crab?!"
  • "...especially the part where a scary voice started saying this is not miami." - dan gustina.
  • "i have standards... ya know?!" - jacqui goebel.
  • "the sign didn't say 'forty miles per hour, jacqui', it just 'forty miles per hour' i think she is alright going fifty five." - theresea coffey.
  • jacqui: "i really like movies that don't have happy endings, do you know what i mean?" // me: "the shape of things, american beauty, hard candy..." // jeremy: "oh, like batman?"
  • "do you know what i'm in the mood for?...you" - jeremy golkiewicz.
  • "so, be honest, how noticeable is it that i totally almost shaved my whole eyebrow off?" - my father.
  • me: "so i left my phone... somewhere." // dan: "where?" // me: i think it is like, under my couch or something." // dan: "oh, i thought you were going to say that you left your phone in a dead person."// me: "yes, dan, i left my phone in the ribcage of a man who said the wrong thing." // dan: "well, it makes for a better story."
  • beeeej to maid: "we need new dishwasher soap." // maid: "oh, i don't speak english." // beeeej: [drags maid out to kitchen and points to dishwasher] "sopa! sopa! sopa!" [maid shrugs, beeeej runs to bathroom, grabs bar of soap. points at soap, then dishwasher. maid hands beeeej dishwasher soap. maid leaves.] "i don't know why she didn't understand me! i told her what i needed!" // lottie: "mom, she didn't understand you because you were pointing at the dishwasher yelling soup!"
  • girl in accounting class who has just failed a test: "i knew all of this stuff!" // brian: "yeah, well those red marks all over your paper indicate otherwise."
  • "see i learned a lot from this buffalo trip. one: guns at raves aren't cool. two: it's okay to try cocaine. but not to do it a lot, or even a little. once in a while. three: my sister once sold acid. four: when i was very young, possibly four at the oldest, i wore one of my mother's slips, and margo had come home with a buzzed head, a dirty, baggy tee shirt on, and fucked up jeans. and our father saw us and said 'maybe it is genetic.' i proceeded to speak like a lady from beverly hills." - dan gustina.
  • "i think i just got throat cancer!" - robb sutton.
dec 18 2008 ∞
dec 26 2008 +