• 5 STONE 12 POUNDS
  • admiring Ema
  • walking behind my mum in her footsteps so when i was older i'd grow up exactly like her.
  • my step brothers and sisters
  • thinking you sat on a star when you died
  • 22 Morley Road and 1 Leonard Street
  • "clo's playlist" and "indie kiddd"
  • garbage, the spill canvas, the ataris, etc
  • thinking sunlight shining through leaves was the answer to everything
  • the 3310 being a novelty phone
  • being intrigued by "girls under pressure," not knowing anything about eating disorders and wanting to know more
  • the self confidence of year 7..
  • my orange room, and painting it cream
  • only being able to write if i copied someone else's style..i wrote a diary just li...
mar 8 2009 ∞
dec 1 2015 +
  • i know that i have elements of obsession in my personality because of how i listen to songs over and over and over and don't get tired of them
  • sometimes i think having a therapist keeps me 'sick'
  • i'm not sure my weightloss is really affecting my depression. logically it should be but it doesn't feel like it
  • not that i've lost any weight yet
  • i love philosophy of language
  • i hope writing a list of things that make me unhappy is going to help me work through them
  • my sexuality is really bothering me
  • is it so bad?
  • herbal tea is the answer
may 7 2013 ∞
may 7 2013 +
  • being really passionate about music
  • being moved by lyrics
  • spending hours on the computer and not getting bored or feeling fed up
  • really good msn conversations
  • Ema and that time
  • Coley and everyone
  • sleepovers
  • not eating
  • being inspired
  • feeling like i was a good person
  • "let's do something tomorrow"
  • myspace
  • not even knowing anxiety existed
  • wearing five different colours at once
  • having an orange bedroom
  • not really caring what people thought about me
  • everyone being less judging
  • not having empty days ever
  • painting my room
jul 10 2011 ∞
jul 10 2011 +
  • i don't like it when boys don't listen to me.
  • i don't like "let's get a hotel room"
  • i don't like how hard it is to make my hair look good
  • i really like tidying my room
  • i HATE being bought things
  • i don't like not knowing things
  • i don't like not having stamps
  • i don't like not getting things done
  • i don't like it when people don't take a hint
  • i hate lying to my mum.
  • i like doing drugs
  • i don't like expecting something unpleasant.
  • i'm expecting something unpleasant
jul 29 2010 ∞
jul 29 2010 +
  • i found this easily atch.
  • i said you were better than the two most famously estimed producers of pianos in the wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorld.
  • why does that not surprise me
  • i literally wish so so bad you were coming round tonight :'(
  • i just want to see you so much
  • you can come round at 8 my mother said.
  • i miss you
  • i love you until the end of the world and further on obviously because the end of the world is sometimes said to be 2012 which is only two years away.
apr 8 2010 ∞
apr 8 2010 +
  • finish day of the triffids and maybe the wind up bird chronicle
  • do a bit of art most days
  • learn french presentation
  • get something floaty to wear on wednesday
  • get a wig depending on the price
  • start/finish katie's/becky's/esme's/sophie's presents (oh lord i'm so behind half these birthdays were in january)
  • get some weed
  • i think that's all. it's not all but i can't think right now.
  • maybe send some more letters. but i've sent Amy's and Alice's! :D
mar 29 2010 ∞
apr 4 2010 +
  • nostalgia
  • longing
  • anxiety
  • anticipation
  • contentment
  • elation
  • love
  • understanding
  • nervousness
  • decisiveness
  • melancholy
  • hopefulness
jan 23 2010 ∞
jan 23 2010 +
  • Kidda- Under The Sun (Herve Mix) (Skint)
  • Duck Sauce - Anyway
  • Florence & The Machine - 'Drumming Song' (Boy 8 Bit Remix) (Island)
  • The Tease ft. Megan Wyler - I'm Not Invisible
  • Sydney Samson- Riverside (Data)
  • Bat For Lashes- Pearl's Dream (Skream Remix) (Parlophone)
  • Chorinho brasileiro by Tania Maria
  • Moby - Dream About Me (Booka Shade remix)
oct 12 2009 ∞
oct 14 2009 +
  • Pixies
  • Radiohead
  • Cat Power
  • Talking Heads
  • Kuhlau
  • Erik Satie (Gymnopedies)
  • Joy Division
  • Animal Collective
  • Bob Dylan
  • The Hold Steady
aug 20 2009 ∞
sep 6 2009 +
  • how much art homework there is to do
  • how much art homework i haven't done
  • HOSPITALS. as of today. not just today but today has reinstated the hatred.
  • the fact i can't see people i want to see
  • i lost ¬£15 last week
  • the fact my phonebill is about to sneak up on my mum and i already know it's DOUBLE what it's supposed to be :(
  • breathe slow by that girl who is shit
  • not being able to say everything you want to say on the phone when you know you won't have the chance to have another conversation for ages.
  • the in your mouth song by larkin grimm and virgin shroud by dorothy cross
  • the smell of smoke burning my throat...but i love mini desk fires.
  • hehe
  • "you'll warm up if you make your bed hann...
mar 17 2009 ∞
mar 17 2009 +
  • painting that represents layers and is a response to noriko ambe's work..
  • another stop motion video
  • do my hair/makeup/getdressed
  • learn a new song on the piano
  • stick up my art postcards!!
  • keep cutting through my book for art
  • download lovely new music
  • or listen to some old CDs
  • find Esme on listography
  • think of an excuse as to why my phonebill is double what it normally is..oops
  • read L'√©tranger by Albert Camus
  • correct/write some oral notes for l'education ..and passe-temps and le future while i'm at it..
  • go for a walk
  • talk to my cat!
  • watch a film by Alfred Hitchcock
  • think of some assignments to set Esme.
  • do performance review on the VLE!
mar 6 2009 ∞
mar 8 2009 +
  • i have a lot of thoughts
  • i don't know if this list should be private but i'm going to leave it in main for now. or maybe ongoing. i think ongoing.
  • i think i can stay young for a long time if i stay inspired.
  • to stay inspired i need to have added something personal to the place i spend a lot of time in. i love posters, writing on my desk and records on my walls
  • i find it weird that i relax a lot when i'm drinking and i don't worry as much but i have twice the amount of thoughts
  • i think i drink too much and i feel like a bad person because of it
  • i think i'm quite a nasty person sometimes and i appreciate that my friends don't point this out but still accept me
  • sometimes i wish i was better at asking people if they're okay
  • sometimes i avoid asking people if they'r...
mar 6 2009 ∞
jul 2 2014 +
  • i don't like unnecessarily over-the-top obsessions
  • i like private health care
  • i like talking to strangers and making friends
  • i like discussions
  • i like jigsaw falling into place
  • food that isn't cold but just below room temperature makes me feel uncomfortable
  • i like henna and indian patterns
  • i ate some of my mother's shortbread this morning and it's been on my mind all day, i still feel guilty
  • my favourite inanimate objects are pianos.
  • i have an unhealthy obsession with all things thin
  • a certain type of middle aged man makes me cry and my heart ache.
  • my dad's one of those people
  • yesterday i knew who i was but today i re...
nov 22 2009 ∞
apr 19 2013 +
  • Voxtrot
  • Death From Above 1979
  • The Hold Steady
  • Bright Eyes
  • Bob Dylan
  • Divine Comedy
  • refer to the BBC list of music to watch out for
  • Animal Collective
dec 26 2010 ∞
dec 26 2010 +
  • henna our entire bodies
  • makes loads of paper birds, hang them in delamere forest and take pictures
  • 'rag' my hair
  • walk around at night
jun 12 2010 ∞
jun 12 2010 +
  • anja rubik
  • siri tollerod
  • imogen morris clarke
  • gemma ward
  • frida gustavsson
  • abbey lee kershaw
  • sasha pivovarova
  • hanne gaby odiel
  • ruby aldridge
  • mathilde frachon
  • irina kulikova
  • anna selezneva
  • dorothea barth jorgensen
  • masha novoselova
  • jessica stam
  • ginta lapina
  • sessilee lopez
  • freja beha
apr 5 2010 ∞
apr 5 2010 +
  • hello nath
  • HI
  • i'm derunkeneededededed
  • i'm enjoying your singing
  • thanks me too i lovlovelovelovelove this song don't you agree?
  • this song??
  • yes thissong is genuis it's beautiful yes?
  • thats meant to be my catchphrase!!!!
  • what is?
  • yeah?
  • oh welll i said yes not yeah. anyway, i was gonna ask you something but i forgot. i can't see. can you see?
  • oui
  • that's good i can't. anyway. it is comfortable. i don't know the lines between what i want you to enjoy and what ithink you should emjoy.
  • IT IS NOT COMFORTABLE. go for un petit we...
sep 26 2009 ∞
jan 25 2010 +
  • finish my art piece (maybes)
  • GET WELL
  • get some new sheet music
  • read loads
  • go charity shop shopping
  • go to manchester
  • maybe finish l'√©tranger
  • put up some posters
  • be loved by nath (doesn't only last for half term) :)
oct 24 2009 ∞
oct 30 2009 +
  • be 18
  • ask granny m about going to the minesss open day
  • play football
  • go to pub + dad's house avec famille
  • cook :D
  • go to Nath's house
  • ART + FRENCH HOMEWORK
  • GERMAN HOMEWORK
  • go to manchester ;)
  • go to bristol!
  • see dad's puppy
  • TAKE PICTURES for art
  • Becca's 18th
  • walk home from Becca's 18th
  • go to work
  • hand in application at tesco
  • get a new ipod :((((((((
  • college supplies
  • organise folder
  • PLAY THE NEW PIANO!!! :D
aug 31 2009 ∞
oct 30 2009 +
  • i think i know people who are older and make me behave older but i know in later life they will keep me young forever.
  • every time my gran drives me home from my dad's, i listen to her breathing in the car and i wonder if she's ill.
  • it's kinda nice but also weird to think that college went on without me there today.
  • do other people talk to their cat like i do, or am i losing my mind?!
  • how nice it was to sit on the stairs for half an hour and think about nothing
  • everything everything everything in the world can be music
  • i DO like private healthcare!
  • i'm very much in the mood for an adventure some time soon.
mar 6 2009 ∞
mar 6 2009 +
  • i need to lose weight
  • preferably the magazines by my door. they weigh three pounds and i want the pile to go down
  • Italy was amazing but it was like a dream
  • i feel like i've just woken up and realised it was only a dream
  • i hate willem
  • i fucking hate willem
  • i want to be alone
  • i want to have all my friends with me
  • i wish katie was here
  • i feel guilty for all the things i've bought in italy
  • i don't feel like i deserve them
  • i wish my mum hadn't spoiled me so much for my 18th
  • i really need to lose weight
  • should i phone someone?
aug 26 2009 ∞
dec 1 2015 +
  • sometimes when i stand on the balcony and breathe in the air i feel like i'm breathing in electricity and everything is calm and stops for a second
  • i am going to put all my efforts into getting myself back
  • i miss myself
  • listography has made me realise a lot of things about myself
  • all i know is that i like tiny furry things and kitten friends and softness and calm, soothing words
  • and i like pretty food
  • i am upset with myself for just how stressed and anxious i was at the restaurant last night
  • i genuinely thought i wouldn't be able to order anything at all
  • i'm happy that my crab salad was wonderful because i was settling for the least exciting thing on the menu to be safe
apr 19 2013 ∞
apr 19 2013 +
  • see you in another life when we're both cats
  • ng
  • remember when i dropped my phone on your face?
  • those birthday earrings
  • H.O.M.O.S.E.X.U.A.L
  • ...lizard?
  • that day at your house
  • "you're a FUCKING idiot" in the study room
  • that field
  • gnat bites
  • rolling down the hill in the middle of the night
  • humdrum town
  • sitting on the beach in the fog eating our packed lunches
  • you looked at me not the camel
  • hannah thomas on youtube
  • new year 09/10
jan 28 2011 ∞
jan 28 2011 +
  • it's not that i'm the one that is hurt which is making me upset. it's the thought of you being upset.
  • this summer is such a let down, i feel blank
  • i want to go to bristol.
  • i'm going to work this week so i can have some money to go and stay with my uncles soon.
  • i really want to go to newcastle
  • the fact nothing is happening at the moment is kind of good cause it means i can work more without feeling guilty.
  • i think i might draw soon.
  • i hope barcelona happens.
  • i'm worried about saturday, if manchester doesn't happen my friends will be pissed off at me ditching them i think.
  • i'm quite enjoying this playlist which surprises me.
  • god i NEED to tidy my room
jul 26 2010 ∞
jul 26 2010 +
  • i wonder when you'll find this?
  • i'm not even going to hint at it being here.
  • i found your message 24 minutes after you posted it.
  • i love you a lot
  • but i don't know what you said i'm better than.
  • oh well.
  • what's the earliest i can come round tomorrow night?
  • the earlier the better.
  • apparently warrick needs cheering up
  • there's been some sort of argument :/
  • i'll find out tonight i imagine.
  • good luck on your message search!
apr 8 2010 ∞
apr 8 2010 +
  • grizzly bear
  • two door cinema club
  • animal collective
  • wild beasts
  • lightspeed champion
  • gorillaz
  • the horrors
  • phoenix

THERE'S TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC AT THE MOMENT TO POSSIBLY EVER LISTEN TO

mar 18 2010 ∞
mar 18 2010 +
  • transvestite?
  • dog with three legs?
  • someone in a borat mankini?
  • someone in something furry?
  • someone in full fancy dress?
  • a lion?
  • ostrich?

you're wrong aren't you?

nov 28 2009 ∞
nov 28 2009 +
  • I
  • love
  • these
  • earrings
  • THANK YOU!!!
sep 3 2009 ∞
sep 3 2009 +
  • a house that is inspiring and personal to me in every single room.
  • to travel the world. if i don't do this i will not feel fulfilled
  • lots of children
  • to play clair de lune beautifully and feel like i could impress beethoven
  • something arty
  • to stay naive for a very long time, even when i have to pay bills
  • to be happy
  • to have lots and lots of stories to tell my children

meh, i'll finish this another day

mar 26 2009 ∞
apr 3 2009 +
  • listening, Jan 2005 and gap fill
  • translations
  • A1 3D drawings + art history
  • response to stimulus on education
  • answer questions on l'enseignement in the french conversation book
  • A1 artist research and
  • own photographs
  • answers to the grammaire powerpoints
  • detailed essay plan on qu. 4 from the mocks
  • three questions from red biology booklet
mar 10 2009 ∞
mar 17 2009 +