• 5 STONE 12 POUNDS
• admiring Ema
• walking behind my mum in her footsteps so when i was older i'd grow up exactly like her.
• my step brothers and sisters
• thinking you sat on a star when you died
• 22 Morley Road and 1 Leonard Street
• "clo's playlist" and "indie kiddd"
• garbage, the spill canvas, the ataris, etc
• thinking sunlight shining through leaves was the answer to everything
• the 3310 being a novelty phone
• being intrigued by "girls under pressure," not knowing anything about eating disorders and wanting to know more
• the self confidence of year 7..
• my orange room, and painting it cream
• only being able to write if i copied someone else's style..i wrote a diary just li...

• i know that i have elements of obsession in my personality because of how i listen to songs over and over and over and don't get tired of them
• sometimes i think having a therapist keeps me 'sick'
• i'm not sure my weightloss is really affecting my depression. logically it should be but it doesn't feel like it
• not that i've lost any weight yet
• i love philosophy of language
• i hope writing a list of things that make me unhappy is going to help me work through them
• my sexuality is really bothering me
• is it so bad?
• herbal tea is the answer

• being really passionate about music
• being moved by lyrics
• spending hours on the computer and not getting bored or feeling fed up
• really good msn conversations
• Ema and that time
• Coley and everyone
• sleepovers
• not eating
• being inspired
• feeling like i was a good person
• "let's do something tomorrow"
• myspace
• not even knowing anxiety existed
• wearing five different colours at once
• having an orange bedroom
• not really caring what people thought about me
• everyone being less judging
• not having empty days ever
• painting my room

• i don't like it when boys don't listen to me.
• i don't like "let's get a hotel room"
• i don't like how hard it is to make my hair look good
• i really like tidying my room
• i HATE being bought things
• i don't like not knowing things
• i don't like not having stamps
• i don't like not getting things done
• i don't like it when people don't take a hint
• i hate lying to my mum.
• i like doing drugs
• i don't like expecting something unpleasant.
• i'm expecting something unpleasant

• i found this easily atch.
• i said you were better than the two most famously estimed producers of pianos in the wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorld.
• why does that not surprise me
• i literally wish so so bad you were coming round tonight :'(
• i just want to see you so much
• you can come round at 8 my mother said.
• i miss you
• i love you until the end of the world and further on obviously because the end of the world is sometimes said to be 2012 which is only two years away.

• ✔ finish day of the triffids and maybe the wind up bird chronicle
• ✔ do a bit of art most days
• learn french presentation
• ✔ get something floaty to wear on wednesday
• ✔ get a wig depending on the price
• start/finish katie's/becky's/esme's/sophie's presents (oh lord i'm so behind half these birthdays were in january)
• get some weed
• i think that's all. it's not all but i can't think right now.
• maybe send some more letters. but i've sent Amy's and Alice's! :D

• nostalgia
• longing
• anxiety
• anticipation
• contentment
• elation
• love
• understanding
• nervousness
• decisiveness
• melancholy
• hopefulness

• Kidda- Under The Sun (Herve Mix) (Skint)
• Duck Sauce - Anyway
• Florence & The Machine - 'Drumming Song' (Boy 8 Bit Remix) (Island)
• The Tease ft. Megan Wyler - I'm Not Invisible
• Sydney Samson- Riverside (Data)
• Bat For Lashes- Pearl's Dream (Skream Remix) (Parlophone)
• Chorinho brasileiro by Tania Maria
• Moby - Dream About Me (Booka Shade remix)

• Pixies
• Radiohead
• Cat Power
• Talking Heads
• Kuhlau
• Erik Satie (Gymnopedies)
• Joy Division
• Animal Collective
• Bob Dylan
• The Hold Steady

• how much art homework there is to do
• how much art homework i haven't done
• HOSPITALS. as of today. not just today but today has reinstated the hatred.
• the fact i can't see people i want to see
• i lost £15 last week
• the fact my phonebill is about to sneak up on my mum and i already know it's DOUBLE what it's supposed to be :(
• breathe slow by that girl who is shit
• not being able to say everything you want to say on the phone when you know you won't have the chance to have another conversation for ages.
• the in your mouth song by larkin grimm and virgin shroud by dorothy cross
• the smell of smoke burning my throat...but i love mini desk fires.
• hehe
• "you'll warm up if you make your bed hann...

• painting that represents layers and is a response to noriko ambe's work..
• ✔ another stop motion video
• ✔ do my hair/makeup/getdressed
• learn a new song on the piano
• stick up my art postcards!!
• ✔ keep cutting through my book for art
• download lovely new music
• ✔ or listen to some old CDs
• ✔ find Esme on listography
• think of an excuse as to why my phonebill is double what it normally is..oops
• read L'étranger by Albert Camus
• correct/write some oral notes for l'education ..and passe-temps and le future while i'm at it..
• ✔ go for a walk
• ✔ talk to my cat!
• ✔ watch a film by Alfred Hitchcock
• think of some assignments to set Esme.
• ✔ do performance review on the VLE!

• i have a lot of thoughts
• i don't know if this list should be private but i'm going to leave it in main for now. or maybe ongoing. i think ongoing.
• i think i can stay young for a long time if i stay inspired.
• to stay inspired i need to have added something personal to the place i spend a lot of time in. i love posters, writing on my desk and records on my walls
• i find it weird that i relax a lot when i'm drinking and i don't worry as much but i have twice the amount of thoughts
• i think i drink too much and i feel like a bad person because of it
• i think i'm quite a nasty person sometimes and i appreciate that my friends don't point this out but still accept me
• sometimes i wish i was better at asking people if they're okay
• sometimes i avoid asking people if they'r...

• i don't like unnecessarily over-the-top obsessions
• i like private health care
• i like talking to strangers and making friends
• i like discussions
• i like jigsaw falling into place
• food that isn't cold but just below room temperature makes me feel uncomfortable
• i like henna and indian patterns
• i ate some of my mother's shortbread this morning and it's been on my mind all day, i still feel guilty
• my favourite inanimate objects are pianos.
• i have an unhealthy obsession with all things thin
• a certain type of middle aged man makes me cry and my heart ache.
• my dad's one of those people
• yesterday i knew who i was but today i re...

• Voxtrot
• Death From Above 1979
• The Hold Steady
• Bright Eyes
• Bob Dylan
• Divine Comedy
• refer to the BBC list of music to watch out for
• Animal Collective

• henna our entire bodies
• makes loads of paper birds, hang them in delamere forest and take pictures
• 'rag' my hair
• walk around at night

• anja rubik
• siri tollerod
• imogen morris clarke
• gemma ward
• frida gustavsson
• abbey lee kershaw
• sasha pivovarova
• hanne gaby odiel
• ruby aldridge
• mathilde frachon
• irina kulikova
• anna selezneva
• dorothea barth jorgensen
• masha novoselova
• jessica stam
• ginta lapina
• sessilee lopez
• freja beha

• hello nath
• HI
• i'm derunkeneededededed
• i'm enjoying your singing
• thanks me too i lovlovelovelovelove this song don't you agree?
• this song??
• yes thissong is genuis it's beautiful yes?
• thats meant to be my catchphrase!!!!
• what is?
• yeah?
• oh welll i said yes not yeah. anyway, i was gonna ask you something but i forgot. i can't see. can you see?
• oui
• that's good i can't. anyway. it is comfortable. i don't know the lines between what i want you to enjoy and what ithink you should emjoy.
• IT IS NOT COMFORTABLE. go for un petit we...

• finish my art piece (maybes)
• ✔ GET WELL
• ✔ get some new sheet music
• ✔ read loads
• ✔ go charity shop shopping
• ✔ go to manchester
• maybe finish l'étranger
• put up some posters
• ✔ be loved by nath (doesn't only last for half term) :)

• ✔ be 18
• ✔ ask granny m about going to the minesss open day
• ✔ play football
• ✔ go to pub + dad's house avec famille
• ✔ cook :D
• ✔ go to Nath's house
• ART + FRENCH HOMEWORK
• GERMAN HOMEWORK
• ✔ go to manchester ;)
• go to bristol!
• ✔ see dad's puppy
• ✔ TAKE PICTURES for art
• ✔ Becca's 18th
• walk home from Becca's 18th
• ✔ go to work
• hand in application at tesco
• get a new ipod :((((((((
• college supplies
• organise folder
• ✔ PLAY THE NEW PIANO!!! :D

• i think i know people who are older and make me behave older but i know in later life they will keep me young forever.
• every time my gran drives me home from my dad's, i listen to her breathing in the car and i wonder if she's ill.
• it's kinda nice but also weird to think that college went on without me there today.
• do other people talk to their cat like i do, or am i losing my mind?!
• how nice it was to sit on the stairs for half an hour and think about nothing
• everything everything everything in the world can be music
• i DO like private healthcare!
• i'm very much in the mood for an adventure some time soon.

• i need to lose weight
• preferably the magazines by my door. they weigh three pounds and i want the pile to go down
• Italy was amazing but it was like a dream
• i feel like i've just woken up and realised it was only a dream
• i hate willem
• i fucking hate willem
• i want to be alone
• i want to have all my friends with me
• i wish katie was here
• i feel guilty for all the things i've bought in italy
• i don't feel like i deserve them
• i wish my mum hadn't spoiled me so much for my 18th
• i really need to lose weight
• should i phone someone?

• sometimes when i stand on the balcony and breathe in the air i feel like i'm breathing in electricity and everything is calm and stops for a second
• i am going to put all my efforts into getting myself back
• i miss myself
• listography has made me realise a lot of things about myself
• all i know is that i like tiny furry things and kitten friends and softness and calm, soothing words
• and i like pretty food
• i am upset with myself for just how stressed and anxious i was at the restaurant last night
• i genuinely thought i wouldn't be able to order anything at all
• i'm happy that my crab salad was wonderful because i was settling for the least exciting thing on the menu to be safe

• see you in another life when we're both cats
• ng
• remember when i dropped my phone on your face?
• those birthday earrings
• H.O.M.O.S.E.X.U.A.L
• ...lizard?
• that day at your house
• "you're a FUCKING idiot" in the study room
• that field
• gnat bites
• rolling down the hill in the middle of the night
• humdrum town
• sitting on the beach in the fog eating our packed lunches
• you looked at me not the camel
• hannah thomas on youtube
• new year 09/10

• it's not that i'm the one that is hurt which is making me upset. it's the thought of you being upset.
• this summer is such a let down, i feel blank
• i want to go to bristol.
• i'm going to work this week so i can have some money to go and stay with my uncles soon.
• i really want to go to newcastle
• the fact nothing is happening at the moment is kind of good cause it means i can work more without feeling guilty.
• i think i might draw soon.
• i hope barcelona happens.
• i'm worried about saturday, if manchester doesn't happen my friends will be pissed off at me ditching them i think.
• i'm quite enjoying this playlist which surprises me.
• god i NEED to tidy my room

• i wonder when you'll find this?
• i'm not even going to hint at it being here.
• i found your message 24 minutes after you posted it.
• i love you a lot
• but i don't know what you said i'm better than.
• oh well.
• what's the earliest i can come round tomorrow night?
• the earlier the better.
• apparently warrick needs cheering up
• there's been some sort of argument :/
• i'll find out tonight i imagine.
• good luck on your message search!

• grizzly bear
• two door cinema club
• animal collective
• wild beasts
• lightspeed champion
• gorillaz
• the horrors
• phoenix

THERE'S TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC AT THE MOMENT TO POSSIBLY EVER LISTEN TO

• transvestite?
• dog with three legs?
• someone in a borat mankini?
• someone in something furry?
• someone in full fancy dress?
• a lion?
• ostrich?

you're wrong aren't you?

• I
• love
• these
• earrings
• THANK YOU!!!

• a house that is inspiring and personal to me in every single room.
• to travel the world. if i don't do this i will not feel fulfilled
• lots of children
• to play clair de lune beautifully and feel like i could impress beethoven
• something arty
• to stay naive for a very long time, even when i have to pay bills
• to be happy
• to have lots and lots of stories to tell my children

meh, i'll finish this another day

• ✔ listening, Jan 2005 and gap fill
• ✔ translations
• A1 3D drawings + art history
• ✔ response to stimulus on education
• answer questions on l'enseignement in the french conversation book
• ✔ A1 artist research and
• own photographs
• ✔ answers to the grammaire powerpoints
• ✔ detailed essay plan on qu. 4 from the mocks
• three questions from red biology booklet