on living here,

it's like a fear and anxiousness. tight chest, shoulders round inward. closed heart. fear. humiliation. I don't want to live here. I do want the option. Nothing is getting done. They all reflect one another and no one is praised or thanked EVER. Weakness I feel. The mistrust in others has washed on myself. I don't trust myself. One day someone here is going to kill everyone. Whether it is metaphorically or otherwise. I know I have to get out. Please don't make me go up north. I just want to live off fruit forever.