and sorted sweet serenity had spells of darkened light

but didn't find a single way

to last without skin

-

so much honesty leads to black dusted nothingness

i hate to think the way i do. if only i didn't have the ability to see myself so entirely, even all the unremovable parts like to taunt me.

i fall so slack into my own lap the moment something slides along my insides, gripping without graceless resistance

it sounds and feels like christmas morning and kerosene lamps in my chest

-

the closeness i desire would require me to be someone else

--

i like to feel like i'm being hunted for

the sweetest meat

--

but who worries if nobody has to win

i had a dream that i had to sleep all through the night, waiting, in a place i was unfamiliar with