why do i do this to myself i just drive myself crazy over and over again and i just cannot shut off my mind. it's just this vicious cycle of loathing and misery and catastrophe but I dwell in it. I dwell in all of the possibilities, the countless, innumerable, infinite, comforting and terrifying possibilities.

I just keep going and striving for those sweet, too-short moments of bliss and hope. Those moments are always so outnumbered.