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All those people, all those lives, where are they now? With loves, and hates, and passions just like mine, They were born, And then they lived, And then they died. It seems so unfair. I want to cry.
--Morrissey

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  • when people leave their expired garage sale signs up
  • inaccurate portrayals of molly in film/tv (lookin at u insecure)
  • band tour dates on back of T-shirts - who cares
  • when venus don't post set times!!!!
  • getting the tape to come off evenly from packing tape or any kinda tape
  • toilets without proper handles, like the circles you push down on
  • soap holders that are placed right in line of shower water — wasting soap
  • when people ask “how are you” in a text message
  • when people leave garage sale signs up
  • when sale folks follow you around showing you clothing you might like
  • when people go to the movies really sick and sneeze and cough a lot
  • reading directions for board games
  • when an actor plays twins in a film and they use special effects -- too stressed they're going to misalign
  • when scotch tape isn't aligned and you're trying to get it even
  • when trampy girls with coors lights are trying to dance to joy division in a sexy way
  • when people take selfies at inapprpriate places like holocaust memorials
  • close ups during "dead scenes". I know they're not dead so don't get close up!
  • when people brag about their wealth, especially on social media
  • when you are trapped in a room with a loud fly
  • when things are wrapped in that insane plastic packaging that you have to use knives and scissors to get open
  • a long shot on an actor after they've died. I'm worried I'll see them breathing.
  • trying to find the right paint can for the room (paint color not quite matching for touch ups)
  • when people respond to birthday wishes on facebook like they're winning an academy award
  • when you get little soup splats on you when eating soup or when you get a drop of soup on your chin
  • when blinds are crooked or bent
  • when people think god or the universe steps in to guide their life without consideration/logic for all those who suffer
  • getting the duvet cover on the duvet
  • when all of a sudden it smells farty and you don't want to say anything in case it's them but you don't want to be silent in case they think it's you
  • that little nugget of dried up lotion that gets pressed out onto your hands
  • when vegetable pieces are too big in your meal
  • loud motorcycles
  • when you're waiting for the car door to be unlocked
  • when you can't focus on dinner conversation because you're trying to flag down a waiter for water - cause you really need water
  • when only one car window is open and you get that air pressure noise
  • when you sit down to eat and watch tv and you can't find anything to watch so you can't eat yet
  • when friends call you when they're driving somewhere
  • audience participation
  • too many pillows on hotel beds
  • the birthday song esp if sung to me
  • when pop stars thank god for their award or success as though a god would intervene for them but then somehow not intervene for countless suffering across the planet
  • when they bus the tables but don't wipe the seat (and there's crumbs all over it)
  • christmas music before thanksgiving
  • when Toki seems to shed year round
  • cold grocery stores when you're not properly dressed
  • when you're sharing your phone number or credit card and you're interrupted because they say uhhh huh and you're not sure if they got the last part
  • when you've just finished the dishes and then turn around and realize there's one more on the stove
  • people who leave their yard sale signs up after it's over
  • the coin spot in the car that just fills with dirt and dog hair mixed with useless pennies
  • pennies
  • when couples block the entire sidewalk because they want to hold hands
  • when the escalator is broken and still and you get that disoriented feeling when you take the first step
  • when you hit the nail incorrectly with the hammer and it makes that noise indicating it ain't going in or you've bent the nail
  • when people say "college is a waste of time" and only measure it in terms of financial gain or obtaining a job and not education and enrichment.
  • when the garden hose gets a kink in it and the water stops flowing
  • when people have inside-joke laughter in your presence
  • when you pause something on cable and it switches over to the loud cable advertisement announcements
  • when flies poop on the window
  • when people cancel an appt or date last minute for non-emergency reasons (we arrange our lives around ya'll)
  • pilling on t-shirts or little tiny holes that appear
  • when the pump on the lotion bottle won't pump up the last inch or so
  • when people drag their flip flops when they walk
  • when you can hear water leaking in the drain when you are in the tub
  • when you can't get the remaining liquid out of any squirt bottle
  • when the windshield wiper won't wipe away all the water and leaves marks
  • adjusting a ceiling fan and having to wait to see what speed it's at
  • 3d movies
  • g.e. smith
  • when folks don't rsvp (takes a bit of effort and money to have a dinner so nice to know who is coming)
  • when the last bite of your meal is a bad (off kilter) one and then you have to take muster another bite in the hopes it counteracts it
  • watching tourists who record videos of boring stuff I know they'll never watch
  • broken taste bud on your tongue
  • when u buy everyone's ticket and they forget to pay u or u gotta ask
  • little holes that develop in your t-shirts for mysterious reasons
  • people posting sexy pics of themselves
  • people who call into NPR and start by asking the host how they're doing
  • when you're making dinner for someone (not a party but dinner) and they arrive late --timing is very important for cooking
  • when people behind you sing really loud at a concert...because i've just paid a lot of money to hear the singer sing (exception: neil diamond sweet caroline sing a long)
  • when too much of the popsicle breaks off into your mouth while you're sucking on it and you get a cold headache
  • when people are overtly nice to children in front of others but not as kind to adults
  • that wnyc plays the jonathan schwartz show all day sat and sun. i like him but not for that many hours.
  • when a ball rolls toward me from the field and I feel like I have to return it even though I have no skills...so I get nervous
  • people using facebook as their friendships
  • balloons
  • when i take a sip of soup or a noodle bowl and a little drop spills on my chin
  • when people don't let folks know that their address has changed
  • when i burn my tongue on food because i was lame and didn't let the food sit for a bit
  • Hummers and huge SUVs
  • anything involving styrofoam
  • when gangs dance in musicals. i want it to be that kind of world but gangs just don't dance
  • when girls sit on their boyfriends shoulders at concerts
  • when u handle the money at a dinner but the bill comes up short so u gotta put in more or ask for more money
  • weak hand shakers --esp when girls use a weak handshake
  • people who have parties in moving vehicles and yell out the window at you
  • wires behind the tv set
  • when a full bottle of white-out turns gummy
  • eating and coming across something that tastes like sand or dirt
  • automatic anything: toilets, sinks, paper towels.
  • jet lag
  • when you are drinking from a glass that has ice in it and all the ice comes rushing forward and the water dumps out on you
  • when i have accidentally cut in front of people in line (not knowing). i hate it when i discover i've done that.
  • people who smoke and walk. it sucks because you can't get away from the smoke. and they will unknowingly ash on you.
  • incense of any kind
  • girls who have dated friends and befriend me while with them, but then disappear when they are broken up with
  • leaving something behind in the apartment that i needed to take
  • when my buttcheeks feel misaligned
  • trying to get the fitted sheet on the bed. i never pick the right side to put on first. or having to fold one.
  • when the aluminum foil completely unravels and i try to roll it back up and it's a crinkled mess
  • anonymous flame wars or verbally violent comments on the internet, especially on youtube
  • when people offer help in some way or offer to do something, but they don't follow through, and then you feel like a jerk for asking
  • when people use their kid's face as their profile photo
  • moving (forever hiring movers)
  • negative transferal of energy (a common thing on the subway)
  • the little piece that detaches itself and sticks to you from the handles of plastic grocery bags
  • un-scooped dog remains
  • people on their cellphones in quiet places with other people
  • people texting while driving or when you're in conversation with them
  • when someone behind you honks at the person in front of you, but you're the one who gets blamed
  • the sound of a small broken piece that has fallen into (what seems like) every remote control and rattles.
  • misunderstandings
  • dogs that head for your crotch
  • when someone doesn't feel like finishing a game because they're losing
  • spitting
  • tall dudes not looking around themselves when they're standing in front of short girls at a concert
  • when people clip their nails on the subway train
  • those turn style door entries at the subway station
  • when little hairs connect to that back of my t-shirts and tickle my arm
  • people who are looking at their phone a lot when they're with you but don't mention why they are (to at least point out that they're conscious that they're doing it)
  • extremists in anything
  • honking
  • social media entertainment
  • when cars enter the crosswalk when you are in it
  • PERFUME
  • the sound of pencil to paper
  • people who arrogantly say: i don't watch tv
  • dirty dishes and wet sponges left in the sink all wet
  • loud music in restaurants or bars
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • flies
  • sexy halloween costumes
  • people who walk in late to movie theaters and stand in the aisles looking for their seat
  • when your voice echoes on the cell phone back at you
  • spam and junk mail
  • tabloids displaying children as accessories
  • watching ice skating...I get so nervous
  • when waiters don't write down the order (creates unnecessary anxiety) and then even worse if they mess up the order
  • when the little ticket is left on your windshield from the parking garage (and I keep forgetting to take it off)
  • when I think "this american life" is coming on nrp and then turns out to be "prairie home companion"
  • sweeping generalizations
  • when one person wins an absurd amount of money in the lottery (vs it being like 10 people)
  • when people don't wear face masks on the plane etc when they're sick
  • when people are taking your email or phone number over the phone but interrupt as they are writing to say something and then you're not sure if they got it right
apr 11 2006 ∞
sep 27 2018 +