Pilot (1.01)

• Sam: "Dude, you gotta update your cassette tape collection." Dean: "Why?" Sam: "Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica?! It's the greatest hits of mullet rock." Dean: "House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cake hole." Sam: "You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam, okay?" Dean: "Sorry, can't hear you. The music's too loud."
• Dean: (holds up hand to stop Sam) "No chick flick moments." Sam: "Alright... jerk." Dean: "Bitch."
• Officer: "So, fake U.S. Marshall. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?" Dean: "My boobs."
• Sam: "We got work to do."

Wendigo (1.02)

• Haley: "I don't know how to thank you." (Dean gives her "the look") "Must you cheapen the moment?" Dean: "Yeah!"

• bloomfield, nj (feb. 1987 - sept. 1991)
• washingtonville, ny (sept. 1991 - sept. 2012)
• leominster, ma (aug. 2008 - dec. 2010)
• middletown, ny (sept. 2012 - aug. 2013)
• goshen, ny (aug. 2013 - oct. 2015)
• washingtonville (oct. 2015 - dec. 2017)
• goshen, ny (dec. 2017 - jun. 2020)
• new hampton, ny (jun. 2020 - dec. 2020)
• mount hope, ny (dec. 2020 - present)

Product Recall (3.20)

• Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?" Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question..." Jim: "False. Black bear." Dwight: "Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought..." Jim: "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." Dwight: "Bears do not... what's going on? What are you doing?" Jim: "Last week I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the onsamble and that's a grand total of... eleven dollars." Dwight: "Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I thank you... Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!" Jim: "Michael!" Dwight: "Oh, that's funny. Michael!"

more to come

The One With the Jellyfish (4.01)

• Joey: "That's right I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!"
• Chandler: "Joey kept screaming at me 'Do it now! Do it! Do it! Do it now!' Sometimes late at night I can still hear the screaming." (Joey laughs) Joey: "That's cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out."
• Ross: "I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for! Ok! I didn't finish the whole letter!" Rachel: "What?!" Ross: "I fell asleep!" Rachel: "You fell asleep?!" Ross: "It was 5:30 in the morning. And you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!!! Oh, oh, oh and by the way, Y-O-U- ' -R-E means 'you are'. Y-O-U-R means 'your'! Rachel: "You know, I can't believe I even thought of getting back together with you! We are SO over!" (Ross fake cr...