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- Okay. You were right. I did know. It was basically the same stuff I talked to you about at Swisher’s. That I couldn’t bring myself to say to you before. And I didn’t want to say anything last night because I didn’t feel like getting anymore upset or fighting about it.
- I don’t even know how to say what I want to say. Like at Swishers it just all came out and I didn’t even care because I knew you were drunk and could get you to say things to me that you won’t sober. But now it’s just gonna sound dumb.
- Whatever
- Alex Tabares! Stop whatevering me! I’m trying not to fight and then you do that…!
- Cause it pisses me off! You say I mean this much to you or this means so much for you, if that’s true than you shoudn’t care if something you want to say sounds dumb. You should say it and know that if you speak seriously that I’ll take it with the same seriousness. What’s the point of saying it when I’m drunk when I won’t remember anyways. What does that accomplish? You may feel better but you’re leaving me completely in the dark and then you refuse to talk about it any other time and it only leads us to fighting.
- Alex! Don’t’ you dare for a second even think about doubting how much you /us means to me! You know how crazy I am about you. You know that. Please don’t say that.
- Then why cant’ you just tell me what you’re thinking when something is obviously bothering you?
- Fine. I’ll tell you what I said at Swishers…. I’ve accepted the fact that you are not a very emotional person and don’t always tell me how you feel about me. And I’ve gotten better with getting over the fact that I seem more attached to you than you are to me. I said that I want to feel like you want me as much as I want you all the time. I want to know that I’m all yours and you’re all mine… All the time. I wanna feel like you’re as attached to me as I am. You’re an awesome kid that seems to have his head on straight… But, I’m afraid PSU is going to get the best of you. And you’re gonna start drinking and stuff… Which is why I started liking you in the first place. Cause you didn’t smoke or drink to have fun and you kept me away from it. But stuff happens when you drink.And there would be no way of me finding out if something did happen, because I’m not there. I told you that I didn’t want to be pushed away. I want you to prove to me that you want me. You said you do and asked how to prove it. But I don’t know. Just sometimes I can’t tell with you. We only seem to fight when we’re not with each other… Which is now… I just wanna know this is gonna last and that we aren’t gonna get hurt..
- You have no idea how much it means to me that you opened up like this. Although I don’t know how to prove I want to be with you, isn’t wanting to be with you even though we may not see eachother as much as we’re used to proof? I just want you to believe me when I say that I will let nothing happen. I don’t go out to meet girls. I go out to be with people and have fun. I know that nothing will happen because I’m always thinking of you. All I want is for you to trust me.
- I’m sorry. This whole thing just scares the shit out of me. I just miss you..
- I miss you too.
- I do trust YOU. It’s just hard to cause of everything that’s against us…
- ?
- Statistics.
- Fuck statistics.
- Exactly. I’m agreeing. This whole thing just scares me.
aug 26 2011 ∞
jan 17 2012 +
jan 17 2012 +