• Black LaDucas
• A new pair of Uggs
• My 1st "New York Actor" backpack
• A new computer
• A new phone (that I don't have to pay for...)
• A Guide to "How to Live in NYC for CHEAP Even if You Have Really Expensive Taste"
  • Someone should really write that book
• A New MAC Eye Shadow Palate

• the training
• having theatre in my life 24/7
• free rehearsal spaces
  • It's never going to be free again...shoot
• the sorority/fraternity feeling of belonging (without having to actually be in a sorority)
• the connections you make with every class you interact with
  • Class of '09 - Class of '15
  • That's a lot of people, all who have the same training and (generally) the same beliefs about theatre I do (at the very least, they have the same terminology)
• The support that comes from student directed projects
• text analysis
• giving me, at times, what it's like to be a professional acto...

• wake up and get ready
• wake up and relax, because you have all morning
• clean your apartment!
• happy days are here again
• back to school
• audition week mix
• dancing in your underwear with the hairbrush as your mic mix
• my warm up for voice lessons mix
• update gym one
• independent woman mix

• ET's:
  • Helter Skelter
  • The Moonlight Room
  • Keely and Du ...do I even dare to be that girl?!
  • Do I look at comedies?
  • Would sophomores be comfortable with abortions and stabbing themselves onstage?
    • Do I care about that?
    • Obviously I want them to be comfortable on stage, but I can't pick material for my actors...AK
• Showcase:
  • "Love at Twenty" Neil LaBute monologue
  • "Twirler" from Talking With
  • Happy Birthday Wanda June (Scene? Maybe?)
  • The Wayside Motor Inn

• The early years: (the ones that stuck out, don't remember ages)
  • The year the twins were born (I was turning 10?) my mom made Cate and I share a birthday party. I was pissed. We went to Rainforest Cafe with all my friends.
  • I had a Princess Party where everyone got their own makeup - not the best parenting choice mom and dad. I remember Nicola Morrow had the blue lips and pink eyes. She switched the eye shadow and the lipstick, and I was upset.
  • For one of my birthdays when I was young enough to (it was still the early 90's) give out goody bags, I made a mixed TAPE for my guests. One of the songs on the mixed tape was definitely Ace of Base.
• 15 - Murder Mystery Party with the dance girls

• ✔ Lady Windermere's Fan by Oscar Wilde
• ✔ The Hot L Baltimore by Landford Wilson
• ✔ Top Girls by Caryl Churchill
• The Clean House by Sarah Ruhl
• ✔ Summer and Smoke by Tennessee Williams
• Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies
• ✔ Filthy Talk for Troubled Times by Neil Labute
• ✔ The Moonlight Room by Tristine Skyler
• ✔ Manuscript by Paul Grellong
• The Sweetest Swing in Baseball by Rebecca Gilman
• Three Viewings Jeffery Hatcher

SUGGESTIONS?! I need material for myself AND ET material!

• Alexis' and specifically how she styles it
• Laura's inventive ways of styling as well
• Sarah's shine and length
• Becca's shine AND how beautiful it is straight and she doesn't do anything to it when she gets out of the shower...inspiration.
• Mandi's bangs
• Lauren's cute short hair

• anything Corley Pillsbury
• Rolling in the Deep - Adele
• Comfort Eagle - Cake
• Sway - Bic Runga
• Brand New Key - Melanie
• Downtown - Petula Clark
• If there was no you - Brandi Carlile
• Bitter Song - Bufferfly Boucher

• ✔ pink frothy eye makeup (to replace my cuurent stila contender)
• ✔ chocolate brown matte eye makeup
• ✔ 'electric eel' eye makeup - the "Katherine" eyes Mar did
• mascara - the kind Mar loves
• ✔ lip liner to go with my new fab lipstick from Santa!
• ✔ lip primer
• makeup brush cleaner
• invest in a brush holder, eventually
• ✔ Turquatic perfume

After all that,

• yellow frothy eyes
• turquoise eyes
• matte tan-ish brown
• powder-y foundation

• arrogance
  • well , a tiny bit of arrogance in a manner that isn't defensive can come off as sexy and knowledgeable. anything other than that? no go.
• a wandering eye
  • another well, statement. I don't mean I don't want you to talk to other girls, and even have friends (and best friends) that are girls. I'm pretty easy going. But when you have a thing on the side? also a no go.
• selfishness (or its equal and evil twin, selflessness)
• ignorance, in any and all forms.
• lack of patience.
  • especially for my amount of crazy. okay? I'll get honest, I'm a whack job. Don't have patience? Get out. It won't work.

I have read...

• Romeo and Juliet
• A Midsummer Night's Dream
• As You Like It
• The Comedy of Errors
• Love's Labours Lost
• Measure for Measure
• The Merry Wives of Windsor
• Much Ado About Nothing
• Taming of the Shrew
• The Tempest
• Twelfth Night
• Two Gentlemen of Verona
• Winter's Tale
• Henry IV, part 2
• Hamlet
• King Lear
• Macbeth
• Othello

Bolded titles are shows I've worked on (class or performance)

• Names of future children
  • I feel weird about that.
• Physical Turn Ons
  • I'd like to think my crushes have no physical bounds.
• Celebrity Crushes
  • I don't know them, how do I have a crush on them?

This list had such potential, but now I can't remember any of the lists I always see that I don't like. Ugh. Will update when I can remember.

• Three words that most define myself: ambitious, curious, weird
• Three important people: carl, michael, sarah
• Three things you'll find in my bedroom: bed, clothes, plays
• Three things I can't do: keep my room clean, work in a cubicle, not bite my nails
• Three things I do very well: be an idiot, dance, dress dramatically
• Three things I hate: liars, insecurities, bitches
• Three feelings: sexy (it's a feeling according to Doug Finlayson) excited, daring
• Three foods: cheese, hummus, carrots
• Three drinks: DIET COKE, coffee, gin and tonic
• Three colors: purple, green, silver
• Three places: New York, Milan, Paris
• Three days: May 29, February 13, September 10

• because apparently I have "TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME" on my forehead
• because there isn't any fucking air conditioning in this fucking town
• because I'm exhausted, and I can't go to the gym when I'm buck ass tired
• because there aren't enough hours in the day
• because I don't know how I feel, and people are making me decide and it's infuriating
• because being young sucks
• because the antibiotics I'm taking AREN'T WORKING
• because I don't feel pretty anymore
• because the one person I want to talk to about everything has a boyfriend and won't call me back
• because I can't trust the majority of the people I know
• because I'm not funny enough

• Zing! Went the strings of my heart
• Gotta Have You
• I Need Love
• If You're Not the One
• The Only Exception
• Fall At Your Feet
• More Than This
• Gavin's Song
• Hold You All Night
• Come On Get Higher
• Be Be Your Love
• Reason Why
• Baby Can I Hold You
• A Beautiful Mess
• Love, Lift Me
• Sleeping to Dream
• I Want You to Want Me
• We Belong Together
• Last Request
• Warm Whispers
• More Than Anyone

• Britt B
• Jena/Adria/Heather
• Kathleen/Amanda
• Kayla/Mary (and sometimes Laurel)
• Courtney/Katie
• Karen/Sam/Jacqlyn (when Sam came out to us, it was a unit for a while)
• Carl
• Natasha/Kevin
• Kyle

My rule for this survey is to go with my first instincts, no matter what. We'll see how interesting this list becomes.

• Your favorite song - Such a tough one. I'm going to have to go with "Any Day Now" by Missy Higgins, because of the history, and I could listen to it basically anytime of my life and be pleased to hear it.
• Your least favorite song - also tough. I like to give all music a chance, but I never really got into "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. I never hated it, but I didn't love listening to it ever.
• A song that makes you happy - "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus. It reminds me of Natasha and I, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober, dancing in our underwear, forgetting about boys, Conservatory, sophomore year, and anything else that might have been bothering us. I miss her a lot.
• A song that makes you sad - "The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" by James Morrison. Such a sad breakup song, that...

why am I not a mind-reader?

• If There Was No You - Brandi Carlile (but it's more acoustic)
• Sugarcane - Missy Higgins
• Going North - Missy Higgins
• Dusty Road - Missy Higgins
• Hold Me Tight - Missy Higgins
• Gives You Hell -All American Rejects (for that one riff. I NEED it.)
• Won't Want For Love - Decemberists
• Can't Go Back Now - the Weepies
• Take It From Me - the Weepies
• Overboard - Ingrid Michaelson
• Maybe - Ingrid Michaelson
• Don't Know Why -Nora Jones (Again, acoustic, but I want it.)
• Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin
• School Night - Ani Difranco
• Hello Goodbye - The Beatles
• I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie

• my mom is really neurotic. i wonder where I got it from.
• she likes to complain about things she can't help/can't prevent. things like the weather. and when my dad calls her out on it, she gets really embarrassed and quiet.
• my dad lets her drive the car. meaning, our automobiles.
  • well, and the marriage "car", for that matter.
  • but he secretly loves it!
• my dad can control a room like no man I've seen ever before, besides maybe Bill Lynch.
• they balance each other out in a way that a marriage should be.
• they still make sex jokes, (to me sometimes as well) which is gross, but good for them. because they're still kickin'!
• the way they parent is so specific to eac...

• because you're honest
• because this was right
• because we're just kids
• because you don't buy into bullshit
• because you're my friend

• dancing captaining this show (really, just telling people over and over again to make sure their arms are straight) reminds me of cleaning Millie. only Mike is now Matt, and Matt is actually nice to me. Carl is still in it, which is crazy to think about.
• a few weeks ago, when Kyle and I went on a walk after "Conservatory Prom," it was so warm out and so humid that it felt like Palm Springs when I was a kid and went on the green for a sleepover with my siblings.
• There is so much similarity in Carnegie Mellon's pre college program with actual college.
• The lightening bugs in the park at the Festival remind me of catching lightening bugs with my grammy and grumps, with my sibs, back when it was only us three.

• Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
• Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
• Antarctica - The Weepies
• All Good Things - The Weepies
• Take It From Me - The Weepies
• If There Was No You - Brandi Carlile
• Dusty Road - Missy Higgins
• I'd Rather Be With You - Joshua Radin
• Maybe - Ingrid Michaelson
• Raven - Brooklyn, the Musical
• Fly into the Future - Vanities, the Musical
• All This Beauty - The Weepies
• Why Should I Worry - Billy Joel
• Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
• Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3
• I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab

Suggestions?

• In Short
• Man of My Dreams
• Spring Cleaning
• Say Goodbye
• Show Off
• My Simple Christmas Wish
• Dance Ten, Looks Three
• Ghost of Corporate Future
• Blue Hair
• I've Got A Crush On You

• The Great Gatsby
• Animal Farm
• 1984
• The Scarlet Letter
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
• Lord of the Flies
• The Bell Jar
• Catcher in the Rye
• Romeo and Juliet
• A Midsummer Night's Dream
• MacBeth
• Brave New World
• Heart of Darkness
• Fahrenheit 451
• Oedipus Rex
• Hamlet
• Crime and Punishment

• I'm entering a career where I don't need the degree I'm trying to earn, and has a 90% unemployment rate.
  • There's nothing else on earth I want to do with my life.
• I truly believe in the goodness of people. I don't always trust myself, but I believe that people are inherently good.
• I believe that hearts can be repaired, and for everything that can be broken, an equal and opposite reaction must occur.
• I believe in love.
• I believe in friendship.
• I believe in myself.

• Daphne Lane Fisher (haha)
• Emily Alayne
• Emily Alayne Fisher
• Emily Fisher

• take out the trash (too soon?)
• clean up their dishes.
• how to talk to a girl when she's crying.
• dance (HA!)
• shop for groceries with coupons, and just shop really.

And things they can teach me?

• how to pick out the right boys.
• and how to leave the bad ones behind.
• how to be more confident in myself.
• how to be content with who I am and where I am that day.

• I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin DeGraw
• ready to be loved - edges
• fly into the future -vanities
• nightminds - missy higgins
• vienna - billy joel
• you ain't seen nothing yet - bachman turner
• 32 flavors - ani defranco
• overboard - ingrid michaelson
• it's only life - kate voegele
• sugarcane - missy higgins

songs of the moment:

• i won't - colbie caillat
• dusty road - missy higgins
• maybe - ingrid michaelson
• so damn clever - plain white tees
• white houses - vanessa carlton

• I love my work, even though I feel like I'm struggling more than ever before.
• Because people can really surprise you, and I love my women friends for that reason.
• I feel like I am really becoming mature.
• I feel like this is a big step.
• I am finding new music that really drives me emotionally.
• I am okay with being alone, not being surrounded with friends all the time.
• I am okay with taking it one day at a time.
• I didn't like you. Not really.

• You can't win your way into peoples heart by apologizing.
• HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY, GODDAMMIT.
• everything that has ever been said in "its called a breakup 'cause it's broken" is true. and the book by the same author "he's just not that into you." thank you.

• Becca's living room
• My room at school
• The spaces
• Regents Park (specifically the back door of Regents College, where there is a bridge over the little river and there were ducks and swans always in it.)
• Michelle's studio
• Namaste Works studio
• The LHC in it's entirety
• Candyship's couches
• Club Red
• Kaldi's. (not the bootsy school one, but the one by Bar Louie)
  • Bar Louie on a Tuesday
• the swings
  • across the street of the Lutheran Church on Lockwood
  • the Georgetown apartment ones

• any Missy Higgins song
• "Gotta Have You" the Weepies
• "Last Request" by Paulo Nutini
• "Stay" by Michelle Featherstone
• "The Word Goodbye" by Levi Kreis
• "Coin Operated Boy" The Dresden Dolls
• "Bad Romance" Lady Gaga
• "Show Off" from The Drowsy Chaperone
• "If it Kills Me" Jason Mraz
• "9 Crimes" Damien Rice
• "Be Be Your Love" Rachel Yamagata
• "On Your Porch" The Format
• "So I Thought" Flyleaf
• "The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" James Morrison
• "Never Alone" Barlow Girl
• "Ghost of Corporate Future" Regina Spektor
• "Fix You" Coldplay
• "If My Heart was a House" Owl City
• "I Feel Just Like A Child" Devendra Barnh...

• ✔ Kiss someone underneath the arch
• Be under the influence of something at the City Museum
• ✔ Go to Forest Park and spend all day there
  • ✔ half day?
• ✔ Go shopping in the West End
• Go to the Art Museum
• ✔ Go to Complex
• ✔ Atomic Cowboy
• ✔ Manchester bars
• ✔ Olive bars
• ✔ Chocolate Bar
• ✔ Hookah in the Loop
• ✔ See the Randy Dandies Perform
• ✔ See Live Improv

• best friends are hard to find, so when you have one, cherish them
• things change. allow them to change.
• accept people for who they are, who they love, and what they do. Don't question or hate them.
• allow new people to come into your life, you'll discover something spectacular.
• and let the old people go.
• I am a good enough actress to be hired professionally.
• I can be extraordinary, if I just let myself.
• Don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from doing your best.
• Be there for people you love and care about, despite the bullshit.
• it's called a breakup because it's broken.
• I am a superfox.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable! Be affec...

• Good qualities:
  • quick-thinking
  • quick-witted
  • fast on their feet
  • curious
  • clever
  • charming
  • congenial
  • love to share themselves with their friends
• Bad qualities:
  • nervous
  • tense
  • superficial
  • inconsistent
  • cunning
  • inquisitive

• Shave my legs.
• Shower.
• Brush my teeth.
• Put on deodorant.
• Wear perfume.
  • And a multitude of other hygiene related activities. (Not to say that I didn't do those things before, I just focus on them a bit more!)
• Eat out.
• Lay in bed doing absolutely nothing.
• Giggle about absolutely nothing.
• Go out.
• Watch less tv.
• Spend less time on the computer.
• Wear cute underwear.
• Stay up all night.
• Clean my room/bathroom.
• Text more.

• Missy Higgins
  • I'm thinking about combining her music together into a musical. I'd need a piano player and maybe Neal's help. And, exactly how I want to make her music into a theatrical piece.
• Dreams - becasue they're fucking interesting.
• The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock by TS Eliot
  • one of my favorite poems of all time. We'll see how that resonates in my next few years here.
• Dance - duh, do you know me?
• the loss of face to face communication
  • twitter, facebook, myspace, video chat, etc. And all of the video game advancements. My world in 50 years? NO face to face ...

• Martha Marcy Mae Marlene
• Contagion
• Anonymous
• 50/50
• The Iron Lady
• My Week with Marilyn

• Dillon:
  • Rosalie Burke
  • Garrett Bruce
• Festival:
  • Marisol Miller-Wave
  • Becki Flader
  • Bryan Zoppi
  • Jim Brigman
  • Sarah Anderson
  • Scott Brown
• Arrowrock:
  • Scott Hamilton
    • Tour
  • Peter Marinaro
    • ACL in AZ
  • Sam Hay

• ✔ Audrey monologue work Tuesday
• Showtunes Tuesday with Katy and STAGES folks (maybe?)
• ✔ feel confident with my pieces...but that goes without saying
• ✔ make Michael's amazing London mix
• ✔ sleepover with the Michael's Wednesday!
• ✔ Potential Voice lesson Tues/Wed (need to text Deb)
• Lunch with Rachel Thursday
• ✔ Solidify some harpie choreography for Mimi
  • ✔ do some sit ups
• ✔ Celebrate Troy's birthday Friday
• See Swifty and Mimi at Beggars Saturday night
• ✔ Sunday morning - rock it
• ✔ BBQ with 2012 and the rest of Conservatory

• A Cruise
  • Dancing, wearing fruit on my head, the whole shebang.
  • A Disney cruise, playing a villain? SURE!
• An international tour
  • West Side Story - "das original en Broadway en Berlin" would be an acceptable example.
  • Really, just a musical ensemble or show that I don't have to worry about the show too much so I can enjoy where I'm traveling to. I want to see the world!
• A national tour - preferably right out of college? (Yeah, I know I'm dreaming big here. But it's my list, so back off)
• A role where I have to have an abortion
  • Either onstage
  • Or it happens during the play
  • I know that seems pretty weird, but abort..._Well._

• she's freakin' SMART
• she's studying to be a nurse
  • at the University of Michigan (smart)
  • with a double major in Spanish
  • so she can help the hospitals in NICARAGUA
• she was Homecoming Queen
• she is really funny, much funnier than me
• she's gorgeous
• she's way taller than me
• I put MY makeup on her, and she still looks amazing
• she's way rich because she knows how to budget her money

Good thing I'm related!

like, what.

• young?
• perky?
• comedic?
• strong
• weird
• HELP

• I love to be intellectually challenged, even if I complain about not being "right"
  • currently trying to change my scale of what "right" is
• I really love the Weepies. My mom said she could get me tickets to their summer concert in Boulder in August and I want to dip out on school to go see them. So what if it's audition week of senior year...right?
• I'm great at giving advice and not the best at following my own wisdom.
• I get frustrated (and fascinated) by people I can't figure out
• this whole "real life" thing equally terrifies me and excites me. I know I have a year, but something tells me that the year will fly.
• I'm nervous that I'm not as good as I think I am.

• PATIENCE
• Hope
• Gratitude
• Staying positive, even though I wanted to cry
• Being vulnerable, and allowing my feelings to come (and eventually go)
• Breaths. Deep ones.

• Intelligent Life at HotCity Theatre
  • April 29-May 14
• Damn Yankees - at Arrowrock Lyceum Theatre
  • June 18-26
• Sound of Music - at Arrowrock Lyceum Theatre
  • July 6-17
• She Loves Me - at Insight Theatre Company
  • August 4-14

Day 1 of Senior Year: August 15

here we fucking go

• First Friend: Brittany Badesch
• First Crush: Danny Simon
• First "B": Art. (3rd Grade) BAH, look at me now.
• First Role: "Rickety," a part of the "Rickety, rackety bridge" in the renowned musical Stone Soup.
• First Date: Alex Hill, Fridays. What a joke.
• First Kiss: Joey Smith, spin the bottle.
• First Gay Boyfriend: (yeah, there's more than one) Ethan Carpenter
• First Straight Boyfriend: Alex Hill, 11th Grade. (Oh how the mighty have fallen.)
• First Car: Honda CRV (still own her, she's fearless)
• First Friend at College: Scears, or I guess Carl?
• First College Roommate: Stephanie Tate
• First Job: Babysitter!
• First (Paid) Theatre Job: Lake Dillon Theatre in CO

• Pencil
• Insomnia
• Monroe
• Stargazer
• Classy
• The Minimalist
• Button Theme
• Grunge Era
• Centennial
• Prolix
• Invitation Only
• Liquid Typo

• Equus tech week instead of callbacks
• Zack and Brent leaving 2012...mixed feelings
  • Having 12 people in our class. TWELVE.
• Getting naked. And realizing I belong in a nudist colony.
• Going out with Cara and Alexis and not paying for a single drink. Thank you!
• Equus Opening Weekend, feeling famous
• First Cabaret - feeling an odd rush.
• Equus cast party after week 2 - Guitar Hero.
• Equus Closing Weekend, Dancing in the street with Drew
• Insect Play Opening Night.
  • Return of confusion. Fucking over it.
• The week of filth, aka, week before fall break with Alexandra.
• The Cabaret from Hell - Halloween Cabaret

• the people you're jealous of are jealous of you right back?
• being young is so irritating and such a blessing as well?
• the person I want to get to know is in a relationship, but, unlike the Webster way, I can still be his friend and go out with him by myself and not have his girlfriend be jealous or hate me?
• the things you do for fun don't always get to be the things you do for money?

discoveries folks, discoveries.

• Danny - I also remember chasing him around the playground. He told me he liked me, but his mom won't let me marry him because I'm not Jewish. Figures my first crush would be a Jew. In. Love with how ridiculous it was.
• Cameron -Boyfriend. All I remember from this gem of a relationship was the picture I got of him (his school picture) for Valentine's Day. I got that, roses, and chocolates. Best first boyfriend ever. And also, the only blonde I ever dated.
• Robert - This was kind of labored. My friend thought we'd be cute as hell together, and I didn't agree, but when I found out he liked me, I decided to like him back. Well, he didn't like me. So...whoops. Nipped that one in the bud.
• Daniel - This one lasted from 7th to 8th grade. He was friends with my next door neighbor, and I remember going on jogs in ...

• The Kindergarten saga, but coming out a performer at the end of the year
• The Sam Lips starting dance story
• The Modern trio, aka "Flasher Award"
• Being the lead "Ramberlerette," aka, being famous for a day
• The classic "that's not frosting story" (mature audiences only)
• Finding Nemo at Laurel's house (mature audiences only)
• Skinny Dipping with Carl sophomore year
• Getting into Webster - and finding out Carl did too. The same day.
• The Winter's Tale in Stratford story.
• The Rockies Game story.
• The porn star-airplane story.

• to speak in lyrics (aka, the title of this list)
• Diet Coke
• Kisses
• A flat stomach
• A workout that’s fun to do
• A voice that’s just plain sick
• Acting chops to kill
• A boyfriend (let’s get real)
• Height (a little more)
  • Pumps (A remedy)
• 100% clear face
• to not ever have to work hard for anything
  • but that would get boring, don’t you think?

• Teen Fashionsita
• Hungry Herbivore
• Cookin' and Lookin'
• Chelsea Talks Smack
• Actor Affirmations
• Experience Captured
• MT Dictionary
• Curly, Dimpled Lunatic

• Melons
• Jugs
• Tatas
• Funbags
• Rack
• Hooters
• The girls
• The twins
• Tits
• Titties
• Toddies
• Tots
• Mosquito bites (for all the small breasted women of the world)
• Knockers
• Boobs
• Boobies
• Breasticles
• Headlights

• I am...sassy.
• I know...a lot about nothing.
• I love it when...I'm surprised by someone.
• I am known for...my consummate wit.
• The nickname I'm embarrassed of is...I don't have any embarrassing nicknames. One I don't like is "Fisher." I think it's like I'm on a sports team.
• People think I am a little...ridiculous.
• I wish I never...talked shit.
• My friends wish...a variety of things?
• My favorite place to shop is...Cherry Creek. There's just no place like it. Or Camden Market. But I've only shopped there twice, ever.
• My favorite place to hang out is...my snazzy new apartment!
• My favorite band is...singer/songwriter Missy Higgins.
• Last time I got in trouble...I talked my ...

• guitar playing
• cabaret singing
• errand running
• work outing
• coffee dating
• continuous sleeping
• still thinking
• sweet reading
• sit-up(ping)
• picture taking
• bar hopping
• 2012 missing

• be honest. always.
• don't lead someone on. because it will come back to bite you in the ass.
• good friends are hard to find. cherish them.
• the end of the school year is a bitch. find a way to rise above the bullshit.
• new experiences are just that. new experiences.
• believe in yourself, hot mamma. you=fierce.
• think about this summer of dreams! THINK ABOUT IT!

• Why Love? I think the thing I loved and hated about you the most was your ability to make me feel so stupid.
• Wait! You only loved the chase. So why was I the one running down the street after you?
• Make it Better I hope the Beatles make you think of me. If not the Beatles as a band, then at least “Hey Jude.”
• Coke Head You made me try Diet Coke. Now I’m addicted. If I ever suffer any conditions that can be definitively traced to massive ingestions of aspartame, I will blame you.
• Serenaded Everytime I hear “Gotta Have You” by the Weepies, I get the weepies remembering you sing it to me.
• Higher Love I wonder if I ever crossed your mind for something other than sex.
• Stars Hallow You used to say I loved Gilmore Girls more than I loved you. Well, you’re gone ...

• get rid of my feelings for you

• take photographs
• have friends that are girls at school
• play the guitar
• cook well
  • specifically, ravioli. from scratch.
• french braid
• make mix cd's that have flow and continuity.
• take care of my skin

• I get defensive when people ask me about it
• I always stick up for you, even when I know you're wrong
• I make you food, I buy you food, etc.
• I do my homework for my classes so I can spend more time with you
• I research your music, and actually really like it
• My friends tell me to ditch you, and I don't listen to them
• I let you teach me about stuff that inspires you
• I let you cry on my shoulder
• I let you drive me around and pay for me
• I let you make me cry

I guess what I'm trying to say is, what have you done for me lately?

• Dominating
• Rude
• Bratty
• Sassy
• Smart-Ass
• Mad
• Frantic
• Hysterical
• Sad
• Upset
• Wronged
• Spicy
• Daring
• Optimistic
• Quick
• Humorous
• Enthusiastic
• Passionate
• more later.

• the actual cds of artists I really love, not just the digital copy.
• my own clothes.
• my own food.
  • I don't really like to share or eat someone else's (though I'll share anytime)
• bottles of water.
  • (I know, it's killing the environment. But I can't seem to find the perfect water bottle yet. I reuse them though!)
• my thoughts and opinions.
  • When someone else has them, that's all grand, but I don't like it when someone likes to challenge mine.
• control.
• confidence.
• et cetera, et cetera.

• stop your bitching.
• what you're bitching about now will not be important in 5 years, let alone 5 months, or 5 days.
• remember how freaking hot you are.

• what's really going on between us
• how much I love acting
• how excited I am to be and live in NYC
• whether or not grad school is what I want to do
• what I believe in (spiritually/religiously)
• what my "me" song is
• how excited I am for Wedding Singer
• how excited I am to be apart of the Webster Family
• how hard it's going to be to not have money
• how much I want to win the lottery
• basically, a lot.

Each bullet point is a certain person:

• odd, eclectic, weird.
• cocky, forceful, nerdy.
• angelic, immature, silly.
• different, misunderstood, involved.
• smart, detached, un-answerable.
  • don't know if I can actually include this one, but it was significant to me.

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

• Banksy
• Vespa Scooters
• Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
• Moleskine Notebooks
• Taking a Year Off
• Ugly Sweater Parties
• Black Music that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
• Promising to Learn a New Language
• Halloween
• Hummus
• Pea Coats
• Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music
• Children’s Games as Adults
• Being Offended
• Having Gay Friends
• Bad Memories of High School
• The Idea of Soccer
• Modern Furniture
• Multilingual Children

Ten Things I like about myself:

• My hair is gorgeous.
• I like the way my body moves (dancing wise and physicality wise)
• I am just the right amount of neurotic.
• I am loyal to the people who are loyal to me.
• I have a giant heart.
• I am super sassy.
• I am very passionate about my art form.
• I have a good body image.
• I have amazing friends.
• I am very proud of myself.

Nine Things People May Not Know About Me:

• I am very girly.
• I love musicals.
• I love my middle name.
• I am very neurotic about how my eyebrows are shaped.

Because the world spins madly on.

• song i heard: ghost of corporate future
• person i kissed: kyle
• item i spent money on: diet coke
• phone call i received: carolanne
• secret i told: that I'm not actually a size 2
• movie i watched: pregnancy pact
• bite i took: pasta salad
• person i hugged: kyle
• topic i googled: awkwardfamilyphotos.com
• text i sent: michael
• socks on my feet: american apparel argyle
• place i got lost: the grocery store
• world news i heard: the update on haiti
• place i drove: rehearsal. the spaces.
• vegetable i ate: carrots
• word i spoke: going

I curse too much.

That's not very ladylike.

• natasha's hips and waist
• lexie's hair
• becca's belly (and belly button ring!)
• the way courtney can have the smoothest legs
• cassie's color of skin
• becca's big, straight, white teeth
• cassie's nose
• carl's ability to hide his love handles.
• mandi's boobs.

• It's his loss because you aren't in his life as much. Always think that.
• Take a compliment.
• You are beautiful!
• Your vulnerability is lovely.
• I see more and more of Emily every time you work.

These are all amazing things that I shouldn't take for granted! What a beautiful world this is.

• I have a slight obsession with theatre, the whole arts thing. It consumes me.
• I'll start to talk like you, at the very least copy all of your inflections.
• I'll look at your facebook page everyday.
• Yes, that does mean I'll stalk your ex girlfriends.
• I can be clingy.
• My fashion sense is almost as random as I am. One day a dress and heels, the next day I haven't showered for a week.
• Hope you like Carl, you'll basically be dating him too.
• I am extremely sassy.
• Actually, when I flirt, I'm probably putting you down somehow. It means I like you. As fucked up as that sounds.
• I hate shaving.
• I can be moody. Most of the time.
• I'll over analyze what you say and how yo...

• Your SAT score is nothing to stress over.
• Your parents will catch you in your lies 9 times out of 10.
• You're going to lose most of your friends if you don't learn to communicate better.
• Your parents are a lot easier to talk to than you think.
• Don't speed around school. You're going to get a major speeding ticket.
• Senior speeches, traditions and "Kylie" mean absolutely nothing.
• You're going to end up really liking your sister and wanting her friendship when you get older so be nice to her now.
• When you get your braces off, wear your damn retainer or else your bottom teeth are going to get crooked.
• You don't love him, you just love the way he makes you feel about yourself.

• actress
• director
• singer
• dancer
• activist
• writer
• travel the world
• party planner
• designer (interior, fashion, etc.)
• photographer
• choreographer
• cool aunt (not ready to be a mom)
• yogi

• my ET
  • ✔ Casting tomorrow
  • ✔ First rehearsal Friday
  • September 20th
• ✔ Search for the Siren's Pearl Show Saturday, Sept. 3rd
• ✔ "Summer and Smoke" scene with Scissors
• Scene with Lexie!
  • Nightswim?
  • ✔ Proof?
• ✔ Southern/Mountain Dialect (I'm sure we'll get onto the next one as well)
• Dance everyday
• ✔ Book flight to NYC
• Make NYC money from Jupiter

Suddenly, this list doesn't feel so long, but it's taking me FOREVER to get through. I got this. Senior year, commence!

• "Big Spender," duh
• "Whatever Lola Wants," duh
• "S&M" by Rihanna
• "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" by Marilyn
• The entire Across the Universe soundtrack (might be inappropriate...I do NOT care)
• "Fever," duh
• "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend"
• "Maybe" by Toni Braxton
• almost any of the Pussycat Dolls stuff

• Opening Night Party for Forever Plaid
• Poker night with the straighties
• Pool day with the girls
• Pool day with the gays
• Mexican "Los Tres Amigos" after the pool, gained my weight in Margaritas
• drunk Walmarting.
• walks down Firefly lane
• rehearsed?
• trip to Blackwater with Alex
• Saw Super 8 and had dinner...like a date.
• Met up with Scott Schneider in Columbia!
• Zumba-ed
• Teched Damn Yankees
• Tasted Catalpa Sangria
• Was "pulled over" by my marketing manager, Leslie!
  • "Rule number one: there are no cops in Arrowrock!!"

• ✔ City Museum
• ✔ Explore the bar scene in St. Louis
  • ✔ This will need to be concentrated
  • ✔ Broadway Oyster Bar
• ✔ See Kim Massie
• ✔ Randy Dandies Show (sobriety not allowed)
• Streaking Art Hill
• ✔ Drunk Karaoke
  • And if you're Sarah, you must win it
• ✔ Coming into the room, scaring the shit out of those freshman
  • ✔ Kat is gone...is this possible?
• ✔ Saran Wrap Dresses with Sarah
  • ✔ Party
  • ✔ Clown?
  • ✔ I don't care where this happens, as long ...

• A pplause
• B urlesque
• C urling irons
• D irty jokes
• E ating
• F ierce (Just the word)
• G uitar
• H igh heels
• I intellect
• J umpers
• K issing
• L ove songs
• M anhattan
• N ARS Products
• O rchestra
• P lay-acting
• Q uestions
• R ecycling
• S trong women roles
• T heatre
• U ggs

• HOGWARTS, DUH
• Wisteria Lane (Yeah, don't judge.)
• All the places I live in in the shows I do. Except for maybe On the Razzle. Or Threepenny. Or, Dissocia. Don't want to live there. But I want to live in Equus land, or Intelligent Life quarters, or actually IN Vienna during the Sound of Music?! Duh.
• An actual utopia.
• Lost civilizations. Guess these aren't entirely fictional, but I wish they existed.
  • Atlantis
  • Ancient Egypt
  • Etc.
• Paris, but the Paris in the movies.

• kittens
• coffee
• coffee + biscotti
• manicures and pedicures
• harmony
• celebrating good work
• loyalty
• passion personified
• a beautiful day

among other things

• what's worse than reading something you weren't supposed to read?
  • it wasn't meant for you to be seen
  • but you saw it, so you know
• how do you be there for someone if they're across the country?
• how do you do an Australian dialect?
• oh, and a Bronx one, while you're at it?
• why are people not straight up with you?
• why are the majority of people in Conservatory assholes?
  • am I one of them too?
• can I be not jaded like I was in high school?
• can my professors remember what year I am in school?
  • and my major?
    • you know, the one you didn't put me in, thank God?

• Clarence, the kitty. Mom's college cat. Half the time thought he was a statue in our front window.
• Peter my rabbit. We had to give this one up when Michael was born. Stupid asthma.
• Various mice - they didn't have names, it was my bro's science experiment, Mom wanted them OUT of the house, they lasted for 3 months?
• All the fish I ever had - I won a fish in 1st grade, and it lived for atleast five years. Then, when I was 16, I thought it was really catchy that my last name was "Fisher" and asked everyone for a fish for my birthday so I could start an aquarium (WHAT THE HELL) and I got two - a beta fish and another goldfish from Carl. The goldfish died within 24 hours. Rude. The beta ended up killing itself within that summer.
• Maggie our childhood golden retriever. She was ...

• Making it On Broadway by Jodie Langel & Jason Alexander
• Amelia Earhart
• Joan Didion
• The singer/songwriters I know
  • "Point of Living" by Corley Pillsbury
• Young artists who refuse to give up
• Shaw

to be continued.

• guitar
• flexibility
• keeping my room clean
• working out
• thinking of delicious things to eat
• working on dialects, or shakespeare, or threepens
• DANCING, and really dancing.
• talking to an old friend :)
• painting my nails

NOT STUPID, SMELLY BOYS.

• all of Be My Thrill The Weepies
• "The Guy That Says Goodbye to You Is out of His Mind" by Griffin House
• "Your Ex-Lover's Dead" by Stars
• "Eyes on Fire" by Blue Foundation
• "The Blower's Daughter" by Scala and Kolacny Brothers
• "Falling Slowly" by The Frames
• "Say You're Sorry" By Sara Barellies
• Vampire Weekend
• "Flight" sung by Sarah Louise and Mar

• remember to play, and work with ease and fun, and most importantly, not criticism
• research, but don't get bogged down in your paperwork - again, this isn't about getting an "A"
• hit that gym. wake up early if you have to.
• be sure to enjoy yourself
• really evaluate convenience vs. drama
  • actually not sure what is the better choice for me right now
• stay on top of the stuff that needs to be taken care of:
  • laundry
  • take vitamins/antibiotics
  • emails
  • shower - wash yo dang hair, girl.
• decide on your classical monologue. DECIDE
• be okay with the fact that this isn't a quick fix

• my age
• the fact that I haven't seen ANY movies
  • I need to work on that.
• the amount of money in my bank account
• what I wish for on 11:11
• what my private lists consist of
• my dream roles
  • Okay, some of them probably won't surprise you. But some definitely will I think.
• who I look up to
• what I couldn't care less about

• homojo with Carl, be it shopping/driving in his car/helping each other pack/seeing a movie, we always pick it up right where we left off.
  • I really needed him today, and it was so nice.
• Watching a surplus of Friends episodes at the McArthur's
• the dance recital making me cry
• Natalie pitch work
• Jennifer being the master predictor

• Envy
  • I'm jealous of people:
    • With full passports.
    • Uninhibited, free-spirits.
    • With flawless skin.
    • Who have found their soulmate.
    • With really fast metabolisms.
    • Who are naturally funny.
    • Who don't have to work hard to be good at something.
    • Really talented musicians.
• Pride
  • Things I'm good at:
    • Being punctual.
    • Not studying and still doing pretty well.
    • Lying.

• "Lies will lock you up with truth the only key."
• "I wanna dance the tango with chance, I wanna ride on the wire - 'cause nothing gets done with dust in your gun, and nobody respects a liar. So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore every boundary and every door."
• "See I thought love was black and white - that it was wrong or it was right, but you ain't leaving without a fight, and I think I am just as torn inside."
• "And there's a button right beside me, if I happen to want a wall to hide me - If only the ballerina had one too."
• "'Cause what if what we see is all, is all we've got?"
• "And if you tell me yours I'll tell you mine, and we will clean the cobwebs out of one anothers minds."
• "Hold me tight, cause I'm losing all the ...

• I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin DeGraw - Getting a scholarship my sophomore year for dance, one of the happiest moments of my life
• Affirmation by Savage Garden - singing in Becca's car with Cassie, Becca, and Sarah sophomore year of high school, but the octave above.
• Can't Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue - Traditions from High School Theatre and feeling so sexy, even if I wasn't
• Tell Me Baby by the Red Hot Chili Peppers - Alex and my song! Silly.
• Can't Let it Go by the Goo Goo Dolls - the breakup song of life, with Alli and Bailey.
• Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt - Senior Year of Dance, senior dance with Kayla, Macy, McKenzie and Taylor
• All Summer Long by Kid Rock - Our Town build crew with Tim and Sarah driving to Taco Bell
• Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry - Waking up too early for second semester morning classes with Carl...

• telling my mom when I was 16 that I was pulling into the driveway, when really, I was still at Carl's house 15 minutes away.
  • this was really a bad decision because there was a suspicious man on the loose apparently terrorizing and kidnapping teenagers, my mom almost fainted when I didn't come in the house 5 seconds later.
• just neglect to tell my father where I was the night of Alli Whitaker's birthday celebration. Because one thing I learned about my father when he doesn't know where his little girl is...he'll find her. Especially when he doesn't want to find her.
• ditch my psychology class junior year of high school with Maddy that one day we weren't prepared for a test. lady called Mamma Karen, and boy was she MAD.

• I hate that I can't get it all done in just one day
• I hate moving all the heavy stuff.
• I hate lugging it from my apartment, to the car, from the car, to the other apartment. It's a hassle.
• Everything is a hassle.

BUT...

• I like going through all my clothes and books and stuff.
• I like decorating with my mommy!
• I like moving into places that have become more and more my own (from dorm, to on campus apartment to actual living apartment)

• Name
• Hometown
• Age (approximately)
• Major in School/Occupation
• Family background
• What inspires them
• Dreams they have (sort of related to inspiration)
• What makes them uncomfortable
• What they fear
• What they think they lack (or even what they lack)
• What they want to share with the world

• Going to 7 Eleven, DQ or Sonic with Jacqlyn/Laurel/Karen after a long night of dance
• Driving, specifically, to lunch at Creek senior year with Court, Carl, Bailey, Emma, Jarrod, Laurel, and Hannah
• Creek Shows, specifically the ones directed by the Jennifer Condreay.
• Sex talk with the dance girls, when I had no idea what they were talking about.
• Before our 8-12 rehearsals for the Ballet, the sleepovers at Katie's and Karen's. So much fun.
• Movie nights at Courtney's.
• Movie nights at Becca's.
• Movie nights at Cassie's.
• Driving around with Carl, and lying about where we were to my parents (badly).
• Dance competitions. I LOVED that shit.
• Starbucks with Bailey 2nd period all senior year, (and trying my first clove cigar...

• not wearing pants
• workout clothes
• air conditioning on a hotter than hell day
• heat on a colder than ice day
• lips on my neck
• abs pressed up against my body
• strong arms holding me
• being barefoot
• cool beds
• cold pillows
• cold feet and a warm blanket
• lying nude in a bed with someone
• a cold glass of water after a long jog
• stretching, especially after a good workout
• curling into a ball

• change someone's life
• do theatre that is RISQUE
• a gay play. I can be gay in it, or just have gay issues in it, either works.
• tour of some bullshit musical that makes kids happy
• a television show that makes you think
• a movie that is in subtitles
• a movie that makes you feel my love
• anything to make you feel my love
• a bitchy, sassy, completely evil role that makes people want to hate to love me
  • cause that's still love.
• do a nasty play where people get uncomfortable
• do a classic american play. Eugene O Neil, Arthur Miller, Tennessee Williams, you get my drift.
• Kick serious ass in a Shakespeare. Viola? Phebe? Lady Percy? Lady Capulet? Hermia?...

• Sophomore year of high school, when Carl and I made the "soundtrack to our lives" CD.
• being "invincible" in the warm rain with natasha and kyle, lying on my car, running around, barefoot.
• the first time I kissed Scears, laying in his bed, freshman year.
• the pillow fight with Jared, Me, Natasha and Kevin the one day before Conservatory and screaming like girls.
• the J.E.N.K. apartment and everything it's been through.
• the night (Winter Break '09) becca and I waited around for everyone to come over, and they never did, so we just ended up talking for 6 hours.
• after conservatory prom '10.
• sex cabaret '10, and specifically the night after.
• opening night party of On the Razzle.

• Phantom of the Opera
• Cats
• August:Osage County
• The Winter's Tale
• War Horse
• Chicago
• Beauty and the Beast
• Mamma Mia!
• A Chorus Line
• Translations
• Spring Awakening
• Gypsy
• In the Heights
• Title of Show
• Next Fall
• Next to Normal
• A Little Night Music
• West Side Story
• The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
• Les Miserables

• Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da
• All My Loving
• And I Love her
• Help!
• Real Love
• Across The Universe
• Something
• Girl
• The fool on the hill
• While my guitar gently weeps
• All you need is love
• Twist And Shout
• Strawberry Fields Forever
• Here Comes the Sun
• Revolution
• Because
• I am the walrus
• Oh Darling
• She's leaving home
• A day in the life
• With a little help from my friends

• joey
• carl
• patrick
• alex
• ethan
• courtney
• bailey
• scears
• brent
• natasha
• lauren
• greg
• drew
• jared
• jameson
• kyle
• jeff
• kevin
• bryan

because you don't show me any consistency.

what's up with that?

• watch an episode of scrubs.
• do a little bit of homework for 30 focused minutes, then take a equity 10.
• make a list of things that inspire you.
• do 50 jumping jacks, then eat chocolate.
• remember how far you've come.
• remember how lucky you are.
• phone a friend.
• eat a few oreos.
• 80's dance in your room.
• watch babies laughing on youtube.
• take a restorative posture.
• read a play that you love.
• watch some of american beauty.
• listen to an upbeat musical, and mouth the words like you're center stage with a spotlight on you.
• breathe. you can do this!

• first real valentines day
• Chicago for Spring Break!
• amazing directing scene with Jessica and Sarah!
• going through a hard breakup
• the JENK apartment becoming real!
• A trip of a lifetime:
  • Tower of London, making a new friend.
  • O'Neils, every Thursday for the live music
  • Sports Bar every Tuesday for cheap drinks
  • Turning 19 in London!
  • Seeing 17 shows, favorite including- War Horse, Oliver! and Billy Elliot
  • Seeing PARIS!
  • Of course, the shoes from Paris.
  • Hanging out with 3 boys, and liking it?
  • reading for pleasure in Regents Park
  • Going to Amsterdam, taking in that experi...

• because I want to know the casting list!
• because I want to know how he feels.
• because I am afraid that it won't be want I anticipated.
• because I miss her.
• because I want to know.

• Corley
• Sarah C.
• Audrey
• Sarah Z.
• Jillian

In short, my friends are fierce.

• "Some of us can't move ahead - we're paralyzed with fear." -Amanda Marshall
• "Lies will lock you up, with truth the only key." -Missy Higgins
• "I will not be the girl stuck at home in the burbs." -Jason Robert Brown
• "Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use - But I still can't say it after all we've been through. And all I really want from you is to feel me, as the feeling inside keeps building, and I will find a way to you if it kills me (If it kills me)" - Jason Mraz
• "Something always brings me back to you - it never takes too long." -Sara Bareilles
• "Fly me to the moon, Let me sing among those stars, Let me see what spring is like On jupiter and mars - In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby kiss me....

• ✔ play a man
• ✔ be naked
• ✔ speak in a dialect
• ✔ sing a torch song
• ✔ dance in the chorus
• fly
• to disappear
• ✔ undress and redress (not necessarily naked)
• ✔ kiss
• get married
• be in a Sondheim
• ✔ be in a Brecht
• play a role that was written for me
  • no seriously, not a part I was "born" to play, like an actual playwright who wrote something based off of me
• ✔ be in a Shakespeare (hopefully more than one)
• ✔ be in a farce

• Emily Haines.
• Emily Dickinson.
• Emily Bronte.
• Emily Gilmore of Gilmore Girls.
• Emily Blunt.
• Emily of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.
• Emily the Strange.
• Emily of "A Rose for Emily" by William Faulkner.
• Emily Browning.
• "Emily" by Joanna Newsom.
• "Emily" by From First To Last.
• "Emily" by Bowling For Soup.
• Emily Mortimer.
• Emily Watson.
• Emily the green train from Thomas & friends.
• Emily Rose of The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
• "For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her" by Simon & Garfunkel.

• ✔ things i wish i were better at
• ✔ goals for the 2009-2010 school year
• (crazy) ideas i have to try
• ✔ the things i want to know about the people i meet
• my infinite "to read" list
• ✔ why i don't want to be in a sorority
• ✔ what inspires me
• why i wish i went to Hogwarts
• ✔ places I've been to
• reverse bucket list
• bucket list
• favorite pastimes
• delicious foods
• what i would do if i could freeze time
• ✔ essences of myself
• things to do before i have children
• favorite days so far
• hotels I want to stay in someday
• songs that completely transform my mood
• ✔ people i wouldn't mind waking up next to