• For Me
• pay off my debts (and Travis's)
• buy a nice place for me and Travis in LA. Not too big... 3 bedrooms tops, more likely two. paint it all with lively colors and make the kitchen a cook's paradise, with new appliances and lots of counter space
• pay for lots and lots of plane tickets for friends and family to visit in LA
• buy a new laptop (Macbook) and a gorgeous Mac desktop
• replace some of my clothes, and buy Travis some new shirts
• pay for a personal trainer
• buy some more fountain pens
• drink wine more often
• find myself a damn good therapist in LA who I pay enough to not feel silly seeing ...

Well, I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows. One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for girls and four for boys, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret never to be told.

There's a bird that nests inside you Sleeping underneath your skin. Yeah, when you open up your wings to speak I wish you'd let me in. --- A Murder of One, Counting Crows

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The more the light shines through me I pretend to close my eyes The more the dark consumes me I pretend I'm burning, burning bright

There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right Such a cruel contradiction I know I cross the lines its not easy to define I'm born to indecision There's always something new some path I'm supposed to ...