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  • Age 6- When I was visiting my grandparents for the weekend, my grandma bought me an ice cream sundae. That night, my grandpa took it out of the freezer to eat some and forgot to put it away. When I woke up the next morning to find it all melted, I was inconsolable. I yelled “I hate you!” at my grandpa.
    • I never apologized.
    • He’s dead now.
  • Age 12- I shared a school locker with my best friend Kaitlin. She was a good student- responsible, pretty, well-liked- and I resented her for it. One day I stole her homework from our locker and submitted it as my own. She got detention for the first (and only) time ever.
    • And I got an "A"
  • Age 14- I bullied my mom into buying me a...
jul 9 2010 ∞
jan 8 2013 +
feb 26 2012 ∞
feb 26 2012 +
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  • Being forgotten hurts infinitely more than being mistreated.
  • It is possible to love someone and treat them very poorly.
  • My overpriced college degree won't get me a job as a writer.
    • But being a good writer will.
  • Fucking guys doesn't make me less of a lesbian.
  • Supergluing sharp pieces of metal all over your face really demonstrates your commitment to your Halloween costume.
  • Stalking is a perfectly acceptable form of social interaction.
  • Nothing good ever happens in Wisconsin.
  • 27 pitchers of margaritas is TOO MUCH.
    • Even when consumed over a period of 11 hours.
  • Whores are people too.
dec 21 2011 ∞
feb 29 2012 +
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  • Al Gore
  • Alan Moore
  • Alfred Hitchcock
  • Allen Ginsberg
  • Amelia Earhart
  • Andrej Pejic
  • Ann Rice
  • Andy Warhol
  • Anthony Bourdain
  • Anthony Burgess
  • Apnea
  • Augusten Burroughs
  • Barack Obama
  • Bettie Page
  • Bianca Beauchamp
  • Buddy Holly
  • C.S. Lewis
  • Charles de Lint
  • Charlie Chaplin
  • Chuck Palahniuk
  • Chuck Taylor
nov 8 2009 ∞
feb 29 2012 +
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Because I'm sick of feeling so shitty all the time.

  • Diet. Starting now.
  • Workout every damn day until I look like a badass again.
  • Buy clothes that fit. I'm not gonna look like a badass again overnight. In the meantime, I need to wear clothing that doesn't make me look/feel like a sausage crammed into a casing.
    • This is probably going to involve a wardrobe full of men's clothing. I hate dressing like a girl anyway. On a related note...
    • Wear more hats. They look cool.
  • Get a haircut I actually like. I miss my short, spiky, butch-dyke haircut. I keep telling myself that growing my hair longer will increase my chance of getting a professional job, but...bullshit. If I'm going to be unemployed, I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
  • Clean and organize my apartment. Living in squalor is affecting my produc...
sep 6 2011 ∞
nov 3 2011 +
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  • Desiderata
    • Latin
    • Things desired
  • Ne tuons pas la beauté du monde
    • French
    • Let us not kill the beauty in the world
    • The last words of French novelist Huguette Gaulin before she burned herself to death.
  • Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus
    • Latin
    • Mountains will be in labor and an absurd mouse will be born.
    • Horace's Ars Poetica
    • A metaphor for something long awaited and much hyped that fails to live up to expectations.
sep 23 2010 ∞
aug 4 2012 +
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  • Blackbird 615 W. Randolph
  • Vermillion 10 W. Hubbard
  • Next Restaurant 953 W. Fulton
  • Ceres’ Table 4882 N. Clark
  • Perennial 1800 N. Lincoln
  • Schwa 1466 N. Ashland
  • Kith and Kin 1119 W. Webster
    • CLOSED
  • Marigold 4832 N. Broadway
    • CLOSED
  • Café Absinthe 1958 W. North
  • Hai Yen 2723 N. Clark
    • CLOSED
  • Province 161 N. Jefferson
  • Rootstock Wine Bar 954 N. California
  • Fiddlehead Café 4600 N. Lincoln
    • CLOSED.
jun 23 2010 ∞
nov 30 2012 +
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In honor of Mother's Day...

  • I like my body. I work hard to maintain my figure and I have no desire to wreck it by turning myself into a disposable incubator.
  • I like my life. I value spontaneity. I want to fly off to Paris at a moment’s notice. Having a child would hold me back and, in the end, I would come to resent him/her for it.
  • It sounds trite, but there are so many unwanted children in the world to begin with. Someday when I’m wealthy and accomplished I can see myself as a foster parent. But until then, no dice.
  • Between my mental problems and JR’s mental problems, I’m sure our kids would be saddled with everything from depression to OCD to schizophrenia. Not only am I incapable of coping with a “problem child”, but no kid deserves that predisposition.
  • Toy shopping. Have you ever been to Toys R Us on a Saturday? I wouldn't navigate that mess to save a drowning kitten, much less to satisfy a shrieking brat.
may 10 2010 ∞
may 10 2010 +

My vegan friend Ally has inspired this healthy streak in me...

  • Amy's Black Bean and Vegetable Enchiladas
  • Amy's Indian Mattar Paneer Entree
  • Kashi Black Bean and Mango Stir-fry
  • Back to Nature Sunflower and Pumpkin Seed Granola
  • Just Tomatoes Etc! Dried Veggie Snack
  • Purely Decadent Pomegranate Chip Non-Dairy Ice Cream
nov 5 2009 ∞
nov 5 2009 +
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  • Curiosity and interest in the world
    • You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics facinating. You enjoy exploration and discovery.
  • Bravery and valor
    • You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You always act on your convictions.
  • Creativity, ingenuity and originality
    • Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
  • Love of learning
feb 21 2010 ∞
feb 21 2010 +
oct 30 2009 ∞
nov 5 2009 +
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  • Apathy
  • Bad drivers
  • Chocolate
  • Drama queens
  • Excitable, yappy little dogs
  • Fast food
  • Generalizations
  • “Holier-than-thou” religious nutcases
  • Ignorance
  • Japanese anime
  • Kids
  • Limitations
  • Misogyny
  • Netspeak
  • Onions
  • Poor grammar
  • Quiet
  • Reality TV
  • Styrofoam
  • Toe socks
jul 27 2009 ∞
sep 4 2009 +
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  • Adventures
  • Beat poetry
  • Corsets
  • Dive bars
  • Eyeliner
  • Fuzzy critters
  • GirlsGirlsGirls
  • Heavy metal
  • Indian food
  • Jack Daniels
  • Kitties
  • Leather
  • MAC Cosmetics
  • New Orleans, LA
  • Origami
  • Pokémon
  • Queers
  • Road trips
  • Science fiction
  • Tattoos
  • Underappreciated indie bands
jul 27 2009 ∞
sep 4 2009 +
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  • Allie Gory
  • Auntie Matter
  • Butane Jane
  • Celia Fate
  • Dinah Fire
  • Fifi Faux Fum
  • Helena Handbasket
  • Ho Chi Minh Titty
  • Jenna Talia
  • Lola Standards
  • Miranda Rites
  • Norma Lehigh
  • Miss Terri Machine
  • Norma Lee Tipsy
  • Paige Turner
  • Robyn Banks
  • Robyn Graves
  • Sybil Disobedience
  • Wanda Lust
apr 4 2012 ∞
may 15 2019 +
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  • Subliminal French Lions
  • Many Bad Hats
  • Irregular Goats
  • Black Splat!
  • Fraudster Frank & The Fraud Fairies
  • The Boyfriend Experience
  • Sheep
  • Mustache Cash Stash
  • Lifelong Strangers
  • Cocaine Dracula
  • El Drippings
    • Their break-out hit would be called "Stand Clear of Doors (Doors Are Closing, Use All Available Doors)"
  • My Father's Mustache
  • Bin Laden's Smile
  • Random Canadians
  • Strippers for Breakfast
  • Boat Shenanigans
  • The Flaming Shits
jul 8 2011 ∞
may 11 2019 +
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  • Dress shopping with your mother.
    • ANYTHING with your mother.
  • Shave your bikini line.
  • Run a 5K.
  • Attend a Goldfrapp concert.
  • Help your ex move a massive sofa up four flights of stairs.
  • Walk 45 minutes through the ghetto for a cheeseburger.
    • Even if it seems like a really good idea at the time.
  • All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Buffet. BARF.
  • Attend traffic court.
  • Job interview.
    • Although, I did get that job...
    • I got my dream job while hungover.
      • From now on, I'm going to ALL job intervi...
sep 2 2011 ∞
sep 27 2013 +
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GRYFFINDOR:

  • You are loud.
  • You like(d) going to school to see your friends.
  • You’ve had more than a couple detentions.
  • You always have something to do on the weekends.
  • You like to be the center of attention.
  • You get above average grades in school.
  • You’ve been called bossy before.
  • You like an adrenaline rush.
  • You are athletic.
  • You are one of the best players on your team.
  • You would do anything for your loved ones.
  • You like the color red.
  • You would never break a promise.
  • Your favourite class is Transfiguration or DADA.
jul 14 2011 ∞
jul 14 2011 +
oct 7 2010 ∞
oct 7 2010 +
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  • 1984-- George Orwell
  • A Clockwork Orange-- Anthony Burgess
  • A Confederacy of Dunces-- John Kennedy Toole
  • Absalom, Absalom!-- William Faulkner
  • After Dark-- Haruki Murakami
  • Alice's Adventures in Wonderland-- Lewis Carroll
  • Animal Farm-- George Orwell
  • Atonement-- Ian McEwan
  • Cat’s Cradle-- Kurt Vonnegut
  • David Copperfield-- Charles Dickens
  • Dracula-- Bram Stoker
  • Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close-- Jonathan Safran Foer
  • Fahrenheit 451-- Ray Bradbury
  • For Whom the Bell Tolls-- Earnest Hemingway
  • Fight Club-- Chuck Palahniuk
  • Heart of Darkness-- Joseph Conrad
  • Leaves of Grass-- Walt Whitman
may 7 2010 ∞
feb 25 2011 +
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  • If I were a month, I would be October .
  • If I were a day of the week, I would be Friday .
  • If I were a time of day, I would be 4 AM- beyond the night, but not yet morning .
  • If I were a planet, I would be in a galaxy far, far away .
  • If I were a sea creature, I would be a lionfish .
  • If I were a city, I would be New Orleans, Louisiana .
  • If I were a direction, I would be onward and upward! .
  • If I were a mythological creature, I would be a pixie
  • If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a Victorian fainting couch .
  • If I were a sin, I would be pride .
  • If I were a historical figure, I would be Rosie the Riveter .
  • If I were a liquid, I would be the saltwater that clings to your skin after you leave the ocean .
  • If I were a stone, I would be jade .
  • If I were a tree, I would be a Japanese red maple .
  • If I were a bird, I would be a spotted owl .
apr 21 2010 ∞
apr 21 2010 +
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  • Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise- The Mountain Goats
  • Hurt- Johnny Cash
  • Tainted Love- Marilyn Manson
  • Tourniquet- Bile
  • Major Tom (Coming Home) - Shiny Toy Guns
  • Helter Skelter- Siouxsie and The Banshees
  • Simple Man- Shinedown
  • Pure Imagination- Smoking Popes
  • Desolation Row- My Chemical Romance
  • Money (That's What I Want)- The Flying Lizards
  • The Boxer- Mumford and Sons
feb 15 2010 ∞
jun 9 2012 +
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  • Apricot
  • Barley
  • Buttercream
  • Champagne
  • Chartreuse
  • Cherry
  • Chestnut
  • Chocolate
  • Cinnamon
  • Citrine
  • Coffee
  • Cream
  • Eggplant
  • Lime
  • Liver
  • Maize
  • Mint
  • Mustard
  • Olive
  • Peach
  • Persimmon
mar 28 2010 ∞
apr 2 2010 +
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  • push up bras
  • mint tea
  • finding unexpected leftovers in the fridge
  • sexy shoes that are also comfortable
  • having friends like these
    • JR
    • Ally
    • Kaitlin
  • the feeling of accomplishment after a hard workout
  • oversized goblets of red wine
  • chinchilla dust baths
  • eating cheese fries for breakfast
  • bold, opinionated women who aren't afraid to be different
  • soft, fuzzy socks keeping your feet warm
  • thrift store treasures
  • getting the color/flavor gumball you want from a gumball machine
nov 26 2009 ∞
nov 26 2009 +
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  • Krave Club and Lounge
    • Adjacent to Planet Hollywood
    • CandyBar, lez night on Tuesday
  • Pirahna Nightclub
    • 4633 Paradise Rd
    • Ladies Night on Wednesday
  • Cathouse
    • Inside Luxor
    • 1920's brothel theme
  • Lavo
    • Inside Palazzo
    • Turkish bathhouse theme
    • Hookah lounge on the patio
  • Revolution Lounge
    • Inside Mirage
    • Beatles themed rock'n'roll
jan 11 2010 ∞
dec 1 2011 +
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The exploits are my own, but credit for this list goes to jen

I have:

  • Been sick
    • in a bar bathroom
    • in a restaurant
      • unfortunately NOT in the bathroom
    • at the county fair
    • in a kitchen sink
    • out the window of a moving vehicle
  • Been in fights
    • with friends
      • who are no longer friends
      • who are still friends
        • despite broken noses
    • with a mohawked stranger
jul 4 2011 ∞
dec 4 2019 +
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  • Astrid
  • Autumn
  • Bronwyn
  • Coraline
  • Delilah
  • Edie
  • Hannelore
  • Imogen
  • Jade
  • Kerrigan
  • Lily
  • Lola
  • Marisol
  • Odette
  • Ophelia
  • Paloma
  • Penelope
  • Rowan
  • Seanlea
  • Starling
  • Stella
nov 25 2010 ∞
dec 4 2019 +
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Envy I'm jealous of people...

  • with effortlessly great hair.
  • with culinary skills.
  • with passports full of exotic destinations.
  • with lovely singing voices.
  • who make friends easily.

Pride I like myself because...

  • I'm ambitious. I have high expectations of myself.
  • I'm fiercely intelligent.
  • I'll kick your ass at video games.
  • I fight for what I believe in.
  • I'm unabashed. I'll embarrass the hell out of you, grinning the whole time!
  • I'll keep you guessing.

Sloth Things that make me lazy...

  • morning sex
  • nursing a hangover
aug 31 2010 ∞
aug 31 2010 +
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  • The way a big, steaming mug of cider fogs up my glasses when I take a drink.
  • The tangy, salty smell of burning driftwood during beachside bonfires.
  • Fall fashion- chunky scarves, cropped jackets and boots.
  • Frost on the window panes makes my tiny apartment feel cozy and warm.
  • Hunting for the perfect colorful leaf
    • When I was a little girl, my Grandpa would pay me a nickle for each brightly colored leaf I brought him when I came to visit. It quickly escalated into a challenge- each leaf had to be bigger, better, prettier than the last one.
    • My Grandpa died 7 years ago. Every autumn I take a bundle of colorful leaves to his gravesite.
  • The stark, majestic look of bare tree branches silhouetted against the sky.
sep 13 2009 ∞
oct 19 2010 +
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  • Climbing a tree and hanging upside-down amidst the branches until the blood rushes to my head
  • Flying my dragon-shaped kite on the beach, watching it flutter in the wind
  • Falling asleep in the grass
  • Making daisy chains and giving them to random folks in the park
  • Stretching out on a park bench with a good book
  • Eating cucumber slices out of a picnic basket
  • Playing on a tire swing until the world spins around me
  • Painting my toenails a cheerful color and showing them off
  • Rolling down the car window and feeling the sun on my face
  • Wearing bright-colored tanktops and letting my shoulders freckle in the sun
  • Sipping sangria on the patio at Bistro 15...
apr 16 2010 ∞
apr 21 2010 +
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words that are lovely in sound, meaning, and appearance

  • Bemuse
  • Chartreuse
  • Clandestine
  • Defenestrate
  • Dissonance
  • Ephemeral
  • Exquisite
  • Flutter
  • Hijinks
  • Idiom
  • Imbibe
  • Kismet
  • Loquacious
  • Marmalade
  • Menagerie
  • Mercurial
  • Obfuscate
  • Persimmon
  • Superfluous
jun 15 2010 ∞
feb 26 2014 +
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  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle
  • A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -George Bernard Shaw
  • I have loved to the point of madness; that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to love. -Francoise Sagan
  • The enemy is not the bad page. It is the empty page. -Timothy Hallinan
  • Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known. -Chuck Palahniuk
  • How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. -Henry David Thoreau
  • Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
may 19 2010 ∞
jun 1 2019 +
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  • wine glass
  • headboard
  • condoms
  • hearts
  • friendships
  • promises
  • rainbow necklace
  • desk lamp
  • wristwatch
  • eyeglasses
jan 22 2010 ∞
mar 26 2010 +
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  • Banana
  • Rumbatan
  • Mango
  • Papaya
  • Star Fruit
  • Dragon Fruit
  • Pineapple
  • Watermelon
  • Cantaloupe
  • Jackfruit
  • Durian
  • Coconut
sep 4 2009 ∞
sep 4 2009 +
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  • I don't like chocolate.
  • There was a time, not so very long ago, when I could benchpress 200 lbs.
  • My musical preferences include- rockabilly, nerdcore, and screamo.
  • Math jokes and Star Wars references are underappreciated forms of humor.
  • I can quote every word to the original Star Wars trilogy.
    • In three languages.
  • I am far more likely to remember a girl's cup size than her eye color.
  • When getting dressed or purchasing clothing, I consider the following:
    • Does this outfit provide unnecessary opportunity for zombies to grab me from behind?
    • Can I outrun zombies in these heels?
    • Will this fabric show bloodstains and bra...
oct 22 2009 ∞
jan 4 2010 +