My very good friend Cole made this list and I thought it was a pretty neat idea, so I'm being a copycat.

• If I were a month, I would be December.
• If I were a day of the week, I would be Sunday.
• If I were a time of the day, I would be naptime.
• If I were a planet, I would be Saturn.
• If I were a sea animal, I would be a manatee.
• If I were a direction, I would be Northwest.
• If I were a piece of furniture, I would be one of Ludwig Mies van der Rohe's Barcelona chairs.
• If I were a sin, I would be lust.
• If I were a historical figure, I would be Jackie Kennedy.
• If I were a liquid, I would be gin.
• If I were a stone, I would be jade.
• If I were a tree, I would be a star pine.
• If I were a bird, I would be a barn owl.
• If I were a tool, I would be a .
• If I were a flower, I would be a white dendrobium orchid.
• If I were a kind of weather, I would be a foggy winter morning.
• If I were a musical instrument, I would be a Fender Jazz bass.
• If I were an animal, I would be a fruit bat.
• If I were a color, I would be fuchsia.
• If I were a vegetable, I would be a potato.
• If I were a sound, I would be a drum solo.
• If I were an element, I would be Uranium.
• If I were a car, I would be an Audi R8.
• If I were a song, I would be "You Still Believe in Me" by M. Ward.
• If I were a movie, I would be pretty much anything by Wes Anderson.
• If I were a book, I'd be the 7th in the Harry Potter series.
• If I were food, I would be cheese enchiladas.
• If I were a place, I would be San Francisco.
• If I were a material, I would be tulle or chiffon.
• If I were a taste, I would be creme brulee.
• If I were a scent, I would be the water in Pirates of the Caribbean.
• If I were a religion, I would be acceptance.
• If I were a word, I would be defenestration.
• If I were a an object, I would be a camera.
• If I were a body part, I would be eyes.
• If I were a facial expression, I would be excitement.
• If I were a subject in school, I would be a foreign language.
• If I were a cartoon character, I would be Daria Morgandorffer.
• If I were a shape, I would be a triangle.
• If I were a number, I would be 41.