• booneiowa.us
• travelnorthiowa.com
• traveldubuque.com
• vacationokoboji.com
• catchdesmoines.com

• cook
• shop
• go out to eat
• go to a movie
• drive
• clean
• sleep
• walk outside

• Lemon Garlic
  • wisk together 1/3 cup olive oil, 3 Tbs lemon juice, 1 clove crushed garlic, black pepper
• Basic Vinaigrette
• Whit Wine Vinaigrette
• Blue Cheese
• Roast Lemon Vinaigrette

• This is awesome with a drizzle of honey: Quinoa Salad
• Slow Cooker! Chicken and rice
• Curry-roasted chicken
• Peanut Noodles
• Grilled Pizza
• Chicken
• chicken
• Curry Chicken
• Christine's Sesame Noodles
• Soy Sauce Substitute
• Tamale Pie
• Lemon Broccoli Pasta
• Rustic Peach Tart
• The Fresh 20 Awesome idea!
• Sweet Potato Fries
• Easy Thai Chicken
• Salmon
• Cranberry Bread

• Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. - Mother Teresa
• Willpower....having the strength or willingness to do what matters most to you. - Kelly McGonigal
• 12 Things...
• Per Dr. Sanjay Gupta
  • Don't think of exercise as optional
  • Pump your heart to better your brain
  • Move it or lose it
  • Get your kids in the act
  • Stop eating BEFORE you're full
  • Fall out of love with sugar
  • Grow a garden
  • Eat a rainbow diet
  • Don't skimp on sleep
  • Stop medicating, start meditating
  • Schedule "you" time

• AVEDA
• MAC
• John Fluevog
• Disney (for vacation!!)
• Torrid
• Lane Bryant
• Dr. Martens
• Sephora

• Disney package
• Health insurance
• Tuition for next year
• Down payment for house
• Day Camp fee

• rain on the roof
• thunderstorms
• a child's laughter
• a baby sneeze
• feefaa sleeping
• silence
• a soft fire
• breaking glass

• Criminal Minds
• CSI Miami
• Hoarders
• Intervention
• Obsessed
• Family Guy
• GRIMM

• removing her as your friend (again in life)

• the past
• cows at work
• malls
• shopping websites
• food

• Sight
  • sunsets
  • sunrises
• Smell
  • my daughters sun drenched skin
  • basil
• Touch
  • my daughters face
  • anything right after I clip my nails
• Sound
  • a child's laughter
  • breaking glass
• Taste
  • lemon
  • garlic

• Friday after work
• getting home after a long day and putting my lounge around clothes on
• a new career
• moving so we can be closer to mom-mom and others
• air drying after a mid-afternoon bath in a cool dark room
• snuggle-buggies!
• G getting another job before we go crazy

• NO WORK
• it would be a Wednesday or Thursday, not a weekend (too many other people out and about on the weekends)
• spending money in my purse or account
• my daughter with me
• sunshine with a temp of 50 degrees, little wind
• a full tank of gas in the car

• The Cure, Siamese Twins

"Leave me to die, You won't remember my voice, I walked away and grew old, You never talk, We never smile, I scream, You're nothing, I don't need you anymore, You're nothing, It fades and spins..."

• Tori Amos, Leather

"I could just pretend that you love me the night would lose all sense of fear but why do I need you to love me when you can't hold what I hold dear..."

• Tori Amos, Tear In Your Hand

"HAZE all clouded up my mind in the DAZE of the why it couldve never been so you say and I say you know you're full of wish and your "baby baby baby babies" I tell you there're pieces of me you've never seen maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well..."

First I need to understand that you have got to play to win....maybe I should pick up a ticket, just in case...

• pay off all debt
  • credit card
  • car
  • student loan
• purchase a house
• travel, travel, travel

• 2009/2010 planner, pocket size
• 8 ibuprofen, 1 multi, 1 vit. C, 1 cal/mag/zinc - all in a baggie
• a pocket packet of tissue
• an ink pen
• AVEDA pure-fume spirit, MAC lipstick in 5N, MAC lipstick in Desire, MAC lipstick in Double Shot, valet key to my car, mint julep lip balm, AVON Disney Princess lip balm, 2 Looney Toons band-aids, AVEDA hand relief - all in my make up pouch
• envelope of "important" cards
• fortune cookie fortune, "enhance your karma by being kind to everyone you encounter"
• iPod touch
• MAC lipstick in Push-up Plum
• my $ notebook
• my coupon file
• my coupons
• my perfect fit card from Victoria's Secre...

• flu
• headaches
• being broke
• baby not feeling well
• my job and the people I work with/for
• the economy
• cramps

• page 98
• page 103
• page 109
• page 112
• page 114
• page 115
• page 119
• page 124
• page 125
• page 130

from Prevention, March 2013

• for more energy
  • bran cereal
  • chicken breast
• for blood sugar control
  • bran cereal
  • lentils
  • walnuts
  • eggs
  • strawberries
  • quinoa
  • oatmeal
• for heart health
  • bran cereal
  • soba noodles
  • tomato sauce
  • spinach
  • apples

• save half of my winnings, no matter what
• pay off (if possible) my credit card
• make needed home repairs
• take a NICE vacation
• get a new computer for the family to use
• pay tuition to get feefaa through 8th grade in her current school
• set aside tuition for feefaa high school
• new car
• go visit hdo3, alone

• Retail Me Not
• Coupon Cabin
• My Simon
• Bargain Babe

• skin care, reasonable price
• cloth to clean everything!
• OPI Gelcolor: Vampsterdam
• Kiehl's Wrinkle-Reducing Cream
• day cream
• day cream #2
• body cream

• Olivia Newton John records
• Erik Estrada posters
• Barbies -> Cabbage Patch Kids
• Stuffed animals
• Muppet stuff
• Little Smurf figurines
• Books

• inhale through nose for a count of 4
• hold for a count of 7
• exhale slowly through open mouth, make a whoosh sound, for a count of 8
• repeat for a total of four breaths two times a day

• Start taking a lunch to work
• Cut the Starbucks habit down (or off?!)
• Stop snacking at work from the store
• No more purse shopping
• Do my own damn nails
• Reduce the number of times we eat out to once per week
• Stop impulse shopping
• Complete shopping trips for needed household items WITHOUT buying feefaa something unnecessary
• Compare prices and get the best deals

• Aveda shampoo
• Aveda conditioner
• Aveda hair care
• Aveda leave in
• Aveda style foam
• Aveda style lotion
• Aveda skin care
• Aveda winter moisturizer
• Aveda body moisturize and scent
• Aveda scent
• Aveda scent
• Aveda oil
• Aveda oil
• Aveda oil
• Aveda body moisturizer
• MAC eyeshadow shades
• MAC lipglass shades
• MAC eyeshadow shades
• MAC Kissable Lipcolors
• Natural Patches
• Toner pads for face

• Disneyland
• Minneapolis again and again and again....
• Portland
• Canada
• Mexico
• Russia
• New Orleans
• New York City
• Kenya
• Nigeria
• Ireland
• Grand Canyon

• being unhealthy in body
• being unhealthy in mind
• being unhealthy in spirit
• dreaming in the past
• beating myself up emotionally
• taking the less physically active way
• eating even though I am full
• texting people that don't deserve to hear from me
• spending money that I really don't have
• purchasing my lunch

• sleep late (but wake up before I get my no- coffee killer headache)
• hot coffee brewing
• nice long shower
• check computer and sip on the coffee
• clean, clean, clean
• get dressed
• go to Starbucks
• get feefaa from school early (I don't know how she got there because on my ideal day I didn't take her - is that horrible of me?!?)
• go play at the park
• read a good book outside under a tree
• nap in a field
• fix an awesome dinner with feefaa
• snugglebuggies
• sleep

• i wish we could all go on vacation together, to another state, too far away to drive to, for at least a week
• i wish we were a two income household
• i wish i did not have to pay rent every month
• i wish feefaa could have play dates over to our house

• tatoos
  • large angel
  • small angel
  • love goddess symbol
  • cross
• nasty lip scar from hockey puck

• Bottenfield
• St. Matthew
• Central
• Pivot Point
• University of Illinois at Chicago

• moving here alone in 1995
• going to college
• "helping" P
• fee-faa
• applying for the program.....?
• not accepting the state position, God I hope not...

• money
• my job
• health insurance
• my program interview
• not getting into the program
• living here for at least one more year
• weight issues
• all of the "could have been"s that involve h

• Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis = feefaa
• California Callin' by Enrique Iglesias = G
• Love Song by The Cure = h
• Freelove by Depeche Mode = Z
• Cool by Gwen Stefani = P
• The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley = R
• The Funeral Party by The Cure = D
• Lucretia My Reflection by Sisters of Mercy = R
• Temple of Love by Sisters of Mercy = Z
• Cuts You Up by Peter Murphy = J
• Boys of Summer by Don Henley = Dad
• Prince songs = happiness
• Boom Boom Pow = feefaa

• boredom
• work
• not having any alone time
• arrogant, rude, back-stabbing cows that happen to work in the same place that i do, and the place is full of them!
• CRAMPS!!!
• not having any money
• the fact that I can not stop thinking about h.

• AVEDA outer peace line, all of it
• products that keep my curly hair under control
• MAC eye shadows
• AVEDA pure-fume sprays
• AVEDA Chakras 1 and 6 (maybe a few others too)
• AVEDA tourmaline face mask
• AVEDA tourmaline eye creme
• AVEDA mosscara in black
• AVEDA liquid foundation
• MAC lipsticks
• MAC make-up brushes, all of them
• AVEDA Green Science line - it's hell getting old

• feefaa
• vacation to disney
• moving expenses
• retirement
• college tuition
• a day at the AVEDA spa/salon

• hair loss
• thin skin
• nursing home life
• loss of sex drive
• teeth falling out

• garage sales
• estate sales
• early movies
• fruit picking
• farmers markets
• free bowling
• free skateland

• Take 3 deep breaths - 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out - to slow your heart rate and the pace of your stress hormones.
• Copy a cat: Stretch and then shake it out.
• Sing a favorite song. You'll breathe more fully and the increased oxygen will do your body good.
• Hang your head forward as if it were a heavy ball, then move it slowly to the side, back, side and front. Repeat. Circle around twice in the opposite direction.
• Sit up straight. When your shoulders are back, you open up your chest and breathe more freely.
• Hold the hand of someone you love. Skin-to-skin touch is calming.
• Pop a piece of gum. Chewing loosens your jaw, where you often store stress.
• Take a mental break - focus on a photo of a loved one, a goal or a favorite place....

• possible place to stay

• Kitchen
  • storage chest
• Living Room
  • sofa
  • file cabinet?
• Bathroom
  • towel bar
  • mirror
• Our Bedroom
  • rug
  • under the bed storage
  • small tv w/ dvd
• Feefaa Bedroom
  • under the bed storage
  • small tv w/ dvd
• Other

• tomatoes
• carrots
• berries
• onions
• asparagus
• peaches
• organic anything
• grass fed beef and dairy

• Be aware of the difference between anticipating and living. Joy is rooted in the present.
• Let go of perfection; the most delicious moments are often the messiest.
• Living better doesn't always mean trying harder. Ease up.
• Avoid getting trapped in someone else's story. Be the author of your own life.
• Forgiveness isn't about them, it's about you.
• You can remember good times without losin yourself in nostalgia.
• The best gifts let someone know how much you love, not how much you spent.
• REST IS NOT A LUXURY, IT IS A NECESSITY.
• Action is one of the best remedies for fear.
• Often it's not our values that are faulty, but our priorities.
• Try not to confuse one defeat with total ...

• The Gravedigger's Daughter, Joyce Carol Oates:

"Not the thin pale froth-sleep that washed over her aching brain and brought little nourishment but the deeper more profound sleep she required, the sleep that slowed your heartbeat toward death, the sleep that stripped from you all awareness of time, place, who you are or have ever been."

• Letters to God, Patrick Doughtie and John Perry:

"Prayer is just telling God what's in your heart and asking him to help you with it."

• Beasts, Joyce Carol Oates:

"Sometimes you fall in love without knowing. Without realizing. And it's too late, and you can't undo it."

• annoyed
• bored
• curvy
• determined
• envious
• frustrated
• gluttony
• helpful
• imagination
• jealous
• kind
• loving
• mother
• nosey
• orgasmic
• paul
• queen
• rude
• sexual
• tired
• unsure

• Rent
• Student Loan (for what, a meaningless horrible low paying miserable job?!)
• Church (this actually feels good)
• Day Care (after school or after camp)
• Savings
• FeeFaa Savings
• Tuition (seriously, for first grade? I must be sick in the head)
• Mastercard (and I do mean MASTERcard)
• ComEd
• Comcast (this one I want so bad to put something nasty on the memo line of the check)
• T-Mobile
• Insurance (car and renters)
• Car Plates (if they want to charge that much for me to have them, then they can deal with a check from each month of the previous year for a small amount, all to equal the exorbitant total)

• when you have a BEST friend in high school and she sleeps with every guy you date while you are dating them and then you finally wise up and cut her out of your life for 15 years and then SHE requests friendship on facebook and you accept because you think she may have something worthwhile to say, something to make the bullshit of the past understandable, but you get absolutely nothing. not a single word. no post. no message. no nothing.

• Bleeding Love
• Rockin Around the Christmas Tree
• Jingle Bell Rock
• Boom Boom Pow
• The Heart of the Matter
• Born to be Somebody

• helping P for a long time
• my job and all I do when I am on the clock and off the clock and should be spending time with my family and tending to their needs

• woke up tired
• rushed washing
• had to drive with the frost blocking a significant portion of my view
• clocked in one minute late - there goes my chance at the free lunch
• no coffee at work - but, I had my sample of Starbuck's Via - that stuff it really good!
• program bus was 45 minutes late
• crashed HARD off the Via
• difficulty with the hospice DNR
• worked tired
• had to chase the drunk biker resident all over hell and back
• tired
• G's ticket = $100, G = unemployeed, MY $100 = G's ticket
• making dinner now, tired

• AVEDA Chakra - #6 or #1
• MAC eyeshadow in Yogurt
• printer ink!!
• AVEDA foundation in Kasha
• AVEDA face stuff
• work clothes
• Ms. Guinea-Guinea stuff
  • hay
  • food
  • bedding
• MAC khol liner in black
• AVEDA Mosscara
• Fee-Faa lunch stuff
• deoderant
• Fee-Faa medicines
• printer ink (again) and always

• what would happen if I told all the cows at work what I really felt about them and then gave them all the finger?
• how will I do at my program interview?
• would I feel better with more or less sleep?
• OK let's say I don't get a job before August should I still risk it and move there? She needs to be down there to start school...but, I need a job too.
• taxes
• I can't believe he lost his job, what the hell are we gonna do?????
• arrested - you SOB!!
• screw the program
• my mother fucking drives me crazy!!!
• I can't believe that I have not only read BUT actually really enjoyed the twilight series....
  • I spoke too soon, I really enjoyed books ...

• Melissa
• David S
• Vaiva
• Greg
• hdo3
• Julie K
• Jen

• shower
• drink coffee
• read the newspaper
• view sale ads
• clip coupons
• check web sites for sales
• make my shopping list
• shop
• nap/rest
• make a nice dinner
• drink wine
• enjoy the evening with my family

• to be the best mother I can be
• one more child
• financial security
• a home with walls of color
• smaller debt to savings ratio
• happiness at my job
• better physical/emotional/spiritual health
• love
• a talent

• eat healthy
• exercise more
• slim down
• color my hair dark brown
• tell d off
• become single
• find a new job
• Raul ;)