reading

• jack kerouac - on the road

watching (tv)

• buzzfeed unsolved
• brooklyn nine nine

listening to

• tove lo - disco tits
• taylor swift - delicate
• charli xcx - i got it
• prince - another lonely christmas
• rex orange county
• pale waves - new years eve
• alvvays - archie, marry me
• cherub - doses and mimosas

favorite movies of the month

• kill your darlings (2013)
• ingrid goes west (2017)
• brigsby bear (2017)
• star wars (1977)
• star wars: the last jedi (2017) x4
• lady bird (2017)

occured

• first of all fuck paulo. his bf is cool tho
• 1st i went to a gay club and this incredibly gorgeous mom jeans ig model babe asked me to dance w her and we sort of grinded on each other and teased like crazy but she had THE MOVES i don't and i totally bailed even tho she wanted to kiss me :-( Sad!
• then i went to meet my french tinderrr date and he's a damn catfish but we had tons of fun anyways and he eventually confided he wants to "be w me all the time" and loves "every aspect of me" he probs was serious cuz he couldn't pull off the fuckboy lifestyle but i still fell asleep for a sec!
• and then we arrived at metropolis where my boy ricky gave us free drinks and did cool stuff like kiss my ears and neck... holy fuck i'm ***
• and then this russian dude asked me to dance (why do people ask me to dance when i clearly can't) and then told me i was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and that he was totally hooked on me (zzzz) and said i was way too gorgeous to be seen w that other loser (....)
• eventually he got aggressive w my dude gabin, tellin him he was gonna kill him and stuff and actually pushing him so we had to call the security people and they made him leave the bar, SO THAT WAS FUCKING WILD!
• then ricardo introduced me to his friend w the iconic line "that's the most beautiful girl i know" and that grown ass man 100% wanted to fuck me and went on for a while w the usual stuff "gorgeous", "hot", "a catch" and at that point i was so done w male bullshit i pulled an excuse and went home on a uber and that fucking rocked as well.
• all this w/o a drop of alcohol in my blood and ofc i forgot to mention gabin kinda shoved his hand down my pants and up my shirt, TOTALLY CHOKED ME (WHICH GOT ME SO HOT) and p much kissed me all over but i'm still a full virgin, EvEN a tongue virgin, who doesn't feel a fuckimg thing oher than lust fuck this fast car is playing on shuffle wt
• i love you ***** you fucking bitch
• SPOOKY SHIT my mom thinks her house is haunted
• and i KNOW my heart is haunted cuz i miss ***** more and more each day, specially after interacting w other men
• LONG TIME NO UPDATE THIS WACK ASS LIST!!!
• sum quick updates: dad is totally broke, mom is being abused by her dumbass bf again, gabin is trying to get a second date but i'm not feeling it
• the last jedi was exciting, new, original, emotional. i loved it so much and whoever didn't like it: yo mom's a hoe!
• saw it for the second time w my boy RICARDO LUCAS O SHIT!!!!
• fuck every man EVER except for adam driver whom i'm crushing on like crazy, i can't believe my own bullshit. what the fuck
• my mom definitely hates me and she said so herself so IT'S TIME FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKERY TO END in 2018 we won't need no fam! i'm going on tinder and finding myself a man who will pay my bills until i get my own cash. i don't need you mom! i don't need you dad!
• i'm so fucking sad tho wtf? and have the worst cold ever
• NO ONE LOVES ME!!!
• CHRISTMAS IS A CAPITALIST LIE!!!
• I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!
• even unwrapped my christmas gifts tonight (23rd) cuz i simply don't care anymore baby!
• spent my christmas eve eve thinking about adam driver, kinda crazy if you ask me
• worst christmas ever, we shall not discuss this, we shan't EVER!!!!!!
• after 3 days of staying in bed smothered by my own filthiness, i'm back on my game BABY! had lunch w mom, rewatched star wars (... for the 4th time) and got frickin bangs. frickin bangs babes. this babe banged
• i look GOOD
• had dinner w my grandma AND my uncle.... holy shit it felt so nice to pretend to have a family for 3 whole hours
• i was floating on happiness when i got home and ate a whole box of gluten-FULL cookies, GUESS WHAT??? i'm feeling fresh af bro, turns out i might not be a celiac! [ryan bergara voice] which leads us to our next theory
• after having dinner made by mi papa, i've come to the conclusion that he's the one making me sick. FOR REAL it seems like all he has to do is touch the fucking food and i automatically get sick, he's like the gastronomic reverse midas wtf? maybe i'm so fucking traumatized that even my stomach gets upset at the slightest mention/touch of him
• pretty crazy considering how i'm probably gonna spend nye w him tomorrow...... tinder is CANCELLED
• artur totally hmu tho which was odd
• 2017 was the year of realizing things, i'm one year behind on everyone else

quotes

• "let the past die. kill it if you have to. that's the only way to become what you are meant to be." - kylo ren

crushes

• joe keery
• dane dehaan
• bill skarsgard
• tom hallock
• adam driver wtf
• john boyega duh..
• oscar isaac duh..
• ADAM DRIVER WTF
• michael...........
• adam driver tho