reading

• william trevor - love and summer (2009)
• william golding - lord of the flies (1954)

watching (tv)

• buzzfeed unsolved

listening to

• kate bush - running up that hill
• harry styles - two ghosts
• hurts - boyfriend
• pssy pwr - rodeo
• cherub - <3
• pink floyd - comfortably numb
• sufjan stevens - futile devices
• morrissey - spent the day in bed
• the nerves - hanging on the telephone
• emily browning - i don't want to die
• dua lipa - blow your mind
• the internet - girl
• kali uchis - nuestro planeta
• pale honey - get these things out of my head
• pale honey - why do i always feel this way
• beck - colors
• taylor swift - gorgeous
• flower face - virgin
• lil peep - beamer boy
• fleetwood mac - everywhere
• crystal castles - not in love
• death team - dolphin style

favorite movies of the month

• little miss sunshine (2006)
• crash pad (2017)
• the lover (1992)
• shangri-la suite (2017)
• blade runner 2049 (2017)
• shaun of the dead (2004)
• a clockwork orange (1971)

occured

• haha october started a bit LUMPY!!!! AMIRITE? this pun terrifies me
• spent an entire day contemplating death's imminence but then my paranoia vanished and i'm good again
• just wish that my mom would love me a bit more but all good!!!
• EMANUEL WANTS WAR.... HE'LL GET WAR
• missing this BITCH even dreamed about him but then again i also dreamed about harry styles later that same night so... who can say for certain which of them is my one true love? a mystery.
• got sick of kyle already; pretty sick of gabriel too but he's way too clingy to let me ghost him. dude texts me good morning at 7am wtf
• very romantically frustrated i think
• i think i'm alcohol intolerant HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• had a very nice today and i didn't even do anything in particular besides... ya know... leaving the house
• spoke with kyle, artur, vasco, gabin and jess in the past few days and they all want me for my Ass and not my Wonderful Personality which is revolting
• gabriel seems to really dig me which is strange
• FUCK!!!! UPDATES 1. BEEN FEELING GREAT EVER SINCE I STOPPED DRINKING ALCOHOL + EATING GLUTEN, WHICH OF THESE ARE TO BLAME? WE CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE 2. BECAME SO OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT HAVE BREAST CANCER I HAVE DONE NOTHING LATELY BESIDES CRYING AND SLEEPING
• SO I MIGHT NOT HAVE BREAST CANCER BUT NAUSEA RETURNED FOR ONE DAMN NIGHT AND I DECIDED TO KILL MYSELF IF THIS EVER HAPPENS AGAIN I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
• vadim
• vadim AND ricardo apparently LMAO
• so... this bitch might be gluten intolerant, just putting it out there - fuck the powder of the devil
• Je Suis Healed - fuck gluten tho
• g***** is in love with me, **** has a crush on me, r**** (possibly drunkenly) texted me asking him to take him back, v**** told me he misses that one night, as you can see i'm not only healthy BUT a heartbreaker, fuck you
• emanuel is an abusive asshole
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LIFE IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• went to sintra on halloween, read a book on feminism and walked around for a while, eventually stopping at that one place for a coffee
• when i got home some shit went down and i had to sleep over at my grandma's

quotes

• "you are what you want to become. why search anymore? you are a wonderful manifestation. the whole universe has come together to make your existence possible. there is nothing that is not you. the kingdom of god, the pure land, nirvana, happiness, and liberation are all you"
• "where is she now?" ... "just a footnote in the life story of a boy she loved when she was 16"
• "yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all this is spoiled by the fact that i am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. my consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. yes, god, i want to talk to everybody as deeply as i can. i want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night…" - sylvia plath

crushes

• harry styles
• domhnall gleeson
• dane dehaan
• bill skarsgard
• ryan gosling
• shane madej (AAHSDKADHF)
• armie hammer