reading

• william trevor - love and summer (2009)

watching (tv)

• buzzfeed unsolved

listening to

• taylor swift - ... ready for it?
• metric - black sheep
• khalid - another sad love song
• sky ferreira - love in stereo
• talking heads - once in a lifetime
• walk the moon - one foot

favorite movies of the month

• american made (2017)
• sunset boulevard (1950)
• kill your darlings (2013)
• la la land (2016)
• lipstick under my burkha (2016)
• mother! (2017)

plans

occured

• went out and let two dudes stick around me even after watching them snort mdma cuz they said i had an unusual beauty and looked asian (!!!!????)
• smoked their crap weed
• was too high to say no to the drinks they bought me (i failed the #1 rule of clubbing as a woman)
• flirted w artur and duarte (one of them junkie dudes) at the same time and felt disgusting but hot as hell
• ran to the bathroom and stayed there for? hours? throwing up and falling asleep w my head on a public toilet
• got into a taxi after dodging the two sketchy dudes but one of them (gonçalo) still opened the backseat door and tried kissing me all over haha i felt used and cheap! fun
• redecorated the taxi walls w my vomit
• got home and fell asleep instantly
• two hours later artur called me and asked me how i was doing etc you're gorgeous etc let's meet up tomorrow etc
• ricky said the four magic words "gosto muito de ti" the first base of platonic romance
• the next day artur told me he couldn't meet me bc he forgot he had made plans w his girlfriend
• i didn't become a little bit of a slag. i became a total slag
• kyle apparently thinks so and we're not on speaking terms anymore after he pretty much called me a slut!
• i'm a horny little virgin.
• ricky wants me to be in love w him and was VERY upset when i told him i don't catch feels!!! which is ridiculous bc he has a girlfriend. even more ridiculous, here we go: HE ASKED ME ON A DATE
• dad, wine, etc
• therapeutic weekend
• we're supposed to have dinner tomorrow and then head over to metropolis but i think imma cancel
• ok so, some updates! ricky is out cuz he's an insecure little man, kyle is in cuz he seems to care about me i guess. i don't know anymore. don't care either
• leonor apologized but then got upset with me again bc of a fucking t-shirt FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE A MYTH :-(
• i've been watching good movies and feeling very confident about my future. i'm going to be a star :-)
• RICKY SAID HE CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT ME
• miss *****
• it (and lusting after ********* SMH)
• i'm becoming a lunatic narcissistic misanthrope and guess what? I LOVE IT!
• hey waddup? after 2 weeks of ditching my hoe duties the slutiness has returned in full force!!!!!!!!!
• matched w a dude on tinder and he seemed really sweet and genuinely interested in me (despite not having seen a single pic of me) so we scheduled a date. he seemed ok w it at first but progressively started getting more and more freaked out and that was when he told me he had super bad anxiety/depression issues
• that should've been my clue to Leave The Dude Alone but i still went on the damn date!!! i was unusually nervous that evening, not sure why? and for the first 20 mins i thought it would be a disaster but we eventually loosened up and had a great time!!! he's a little bit of a geek and literally TREMBLED ALL OVER every time i got close and clearly we're nothing alike but i liked him a lot. in fact i liked him so much i decided to kiss the dude SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH BAD CAROLINA! BAD!
• my dad showed up but you already know what happened right carolina? don't need me to tell you the whole deal
• poor gabriel said he couldn't even look at me cuz i had a seductive look and he kept thinking about dating me every time he looked at me :-(
• i KNOW i should've thought w my head brain and not my clit brain, specially after he told me he had only kissed a girl before :-(, but i found him so cute holding his own arms and shaking like crazy omg!!!!! soft dudes are not my type anymore but what can i say!??!?! i'm a slut that's what i can say
• i CRIED while walking back home like the melodramatic bitch i am, mainly bc i felt bad about using him and maybe a lil bit bc i missed P*E**E***!*E*?
• the next morning he texted me "i just uninstalled tinder" i asked him why would he do such a thing and he said he had met me and i had changed everything, he didn't want nor need to talk to other girls
• so, always being so considerate to other people's feelings, i scheduled a date w kyle for that night! SMHx11
• i thought it would be awkward but we had the GREATEST time actually!!! he's so much cuter than i remembered and also much, much nicer :-) he has a nice voice and dope cologne, this could be the intro to a lana del rey song
• he drove me to the rio de mouro station and we almost kissed but then i remembered that time rihanna tweeted "GO TO SLEEP THOT" or smth like that and went home instead. we're totally going on another date later this week tho
• he looks so foreign WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! @GOD YOU KNOW THAT'S MY KINK WHAT YA TRYNA DO??????
• gabriel messed up but tried to recover and now i feel bad for trying to ghost him

quotes

crushes

• armie hammer
• bill skarsgard
• dane dehaan