reading

• madalena barbosa - que força é essa

watching (cinema)

• goodbye christopher robin (2017)
• three billboards outside ebbing, missouri (2017)
• a futile and stupid gesture (2018)
• darkest hour (2017)
• the florida project (2017)
• lady bird (2017)
• the shape of water (2017)

watching (tv)

• stranger things

listening to

• superfruit - guy.exe
• adult mom - survival
• walk the moon - anna sun
• lorde - 400 lux
• awolnation - cannonball
• tiger love - space in space
• kendrick lamar, sza - all the stars
• warpaint - new song
• blood diamonds ft. grimes - phone sex

occured

• i'm turning 22 in 18 days :(
• met up with miguel pereira and it's safe to say it was the weirdest "date" i've ever been a part of. he walked me home and we hugged, only for him to text me 20 mins later "i would be lying if i said i didn't want to kiss you after we hugged" which 1. satisfyed me 2. made me have a panic attack bc he specifically said "AFTER" so he probably thought i had hidious before we hugged it out and i played with his hair and made his hormones go crazy. thanks a lot
• dad.
• felt sick again after not taking my pills for 2 days, I'M ZYPREXA'S BITCH FOR LIFE!!!
• life is a fucking rollercoaster. i'm feeling better now and actually seem to have gotten my shit together
• miguel gutierrez
• GOOD DAYZ! GOING TO BED EARLY, WAKING UP EARLY! ALMOST NO NAUSEA!
• dysmorphia tho :'(
• spent the last hours of the 17th wandering around my town. bought shitty cigarettes and smoked some cuz i thought my life would suddenly become cinematographic - WAS KINDA WRONG!! they didn't taste particularly good BUT
• some kids approached me asking for cigarettes and at first i thought they were gonna be dicks but they turned out to be pretty nice, as nice as teenage boys can be. turns out one of them was turning 18 at midnight wtf what are the odds??? so they asked me to stick around until then so we could have a joint birthday party lmao ALRIGHT!
• one of them was flirting to the point of obnoxiousness and all i wanted was to my bed, go to sleep, hold my cats. but i still made it thru
• just gotta add this real quick: this dude asked me if i had a boyfriend, i said no (SMH) and then he asked me if i had ever had a boyfriend from town (?????) and i said.... kinda..... (SMH) he asked me his name and i fucking said it. i straight up said it. pedro lourenço. SSSSSMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
• so that was the last embarrassing thing i did as a 21 yr old. glad we left that in the past. no embarrassing things done as a 22 yr old yet.
• i'm 22, you guys. and to think when taylor's 22 came out i legit thought "shit, she's so fucking old"
• went to the zoo and had the most fun ever!!!! + dinner with my parents afterwards
• my birthday is over and i don't have anything else to look foward to so i'm going back to being suicidal. goodbye
• thought leia had run away but eventually found her after 2 hours
• SUSHI!
• lucid trip :')
• i MIGHT have wasted another opportunity at being a published writer BUT now i'm determined to dedicate the following months to having #poetic experiences and writing a truly good book. most importantly, an authentic one. it's happening.

crushes

• adam fucking driver
• caleb landrey jones
• timothée chalamet