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it was 2:12am when i started making this and im just trying to figure what the hell im still doing

listography NEW JOURNAL
  • figure out what's wrong with me
  • be happy for a period longer than two months
  • create meaningful art
  • vandalize something
  • incite a riot via speech
jan 30 2019 ∞
jan 30 2019 +
  • there is something fundamentally wrong with me but despite having had at least 4 years to think of it i still dont know what
  • my mind cannot proceed when invaded by noise while it is unable to settle with myself in the quiet
  • i am not at peace with myself maybe because to some degree i believe that if i punish myself enough the rest of the world will relent and allow me to rest
  • im not at the point where i can be happy for the people i met in high school because they honestly meant nothing to me, or at least, nothing good
jan 30 2019 ∞
feb 5 2019 +
  • prints and portraits illustrated in the style of Piranesi with the subject being scenes and people around Manila.
feb 5 2019 ∞
feb 5 2019 +
  • my darker inner dialogue has this weird obsession with bodily fluids, anatomy, organs etc. in the most disgusting way - "my eyes had bled these visions and allowed them to run across my skin. it is the ichor of gods, corrupted: atrabilious bile spat on my cerebral walls coating the unseen figure which dwells in my chamber of reflection. the rusted iron taste of one such vision greets my lips and intrudes my mouth, making its presence indelible, making me choke as it reaches my trachea. drying with every breath, it dyes my words with a deep brownish red. 'i wish no longer to speak; i wish no longer to hurt,' i whisper as each syllable stings cracked open clots in my airways"
  • i think too much when i should be asleep
jan 30 2019 ∞
jan 30 2019 +