dragging myself across every half minute, time does its thing and then

sometimes it doesn't, like i remember it all half worse or full worse,

screaming at me like a backwards portal

wow i'm so sick of

wow i'm so sick of

yeah it was bad then, it got so bad. i have to admit it and there's nobody i want to take there with me anymore, i didn't want to then, did you know that there's a choice where we can go

i've been going now it's pretty much just me here, it's quite nice and sometimes time doesn't do what it promised me like i remember it all the way it was the way it didn't have to be

i dreamed a terrible dream tonight i took someone with me an imaginary place worse in its own memory of itself

so messy, my house was different, my sister smoked clove cigarettes in the house, my mom she allowed it

two cats, so messy

they neglected each other and the house after papa died and everything was so different and more unwell than i remembered it

i'm being screamed at and they aren't there for me, they didn't really understand it

i took someone there, they didn't really understand they needed to be there for me

clove cigs in my mouth spitting them out in the mirror