• 01/21 i had a dream that i was staying in a hotel. my room happened to be very large - it was the size of a house, actually. there was a large and wide staircase leading up to the main bedroom. beneath that were dingy rooms, an entire floor devoted to mess and poorly made furniture. above that was a luxurious room, in which a large bed lied against a black headboard. i entered the room with only the goal of sleep. soon before i knew it, i was fast asleep in the dark, with only a dim light on. i awoke at somewhere between 1:58 am and 2:02 am, only to realize that i was supposed to meet moses at his apartment. i call him immediately. i tell him "hey, i'm sorry, i don't know what happened. the hotel here is nice." he says to me "ah, not really." i try to show him how nice the hotel is.
jan 21 2020 ∞
jan 21 2020 +

I wish we we were rich, but then we would not be who we are, and we may have never found one another.


Everything that I do must be shown somehow. The lesson is sometimes to believe and there will not be any signs.


My life, cavernous, used to marvel at me and I at it. Now I just drown through what I cannot see coming.


aug 27 2018 ∞
jan 28 2019 +
  • a shooting star with golden doors that light up when you touch them -- always escaping yet always there
  • a slow tortoise made out of clouds -- sometimes pocket sized, sometimes as big as the sky
  • a large buoyant laugh bellowing stronger and stronger until it freezes time, turning into a deep bass
feb 28 2018 ∞
jan 15 2019 +
  • 7/31 10:41 pm in dream. zack eating me out but not touching me quite yet. me saying wait hold on i have work tomorrow..no, i just fell asleep this doesn't make sense
  • 8/10 chasing blue cards but cant find all. tarot reading. store changing. big door. turning thai clothes to gold. men fucking each other. we wanting mark wahlberg
  • 8/26 dream about spirits, headless twin ghouls. six feet under haunted images of cars and planes out of control being stopped with psychic interference from small children. juliana saying goodbye to me as she goes to work. so taciturn
  • 8/30 dimly lit hotel lobby. on phone with auntie marilou. walking around eating
  • 8/31 had a dream about kim kardashian
  • 9/4 terrifying dream mike lieberman fucks me in the garage. cums all over my shirt and shows me off to some people. try to ...
mar 2 2018 ∞
mar 2 2018 +
  • dresser
  • bookcase
  • mirror against wall
  • painting
  • desk
  • picture frames
  • patrick nagel print
feb 20 2020 ∞
mar 18 2020 +

How can I lie to myself

Truth for myself or who

Somewhat between fair and


All the time, I'm so sorry


Buying me time now

Seeds here and there now

I'm finding you soon as I find me too


So so

Is it though

Finally frothy no

It's so fucking full

And big

My god I love



Don't touch my fucking stones or I'll scream. I swear to God

aug 16 2019 ∞
jan 21 2020 +
  • 1/23 dream that i frantically went through closet looking for more clothes the closet home in florida. and kept finding a wallet with ludwig's name and face on it.
  • 1/25 dreaming that i was moving in somewhere i couldn't sleep on the bed. black guy who was sexually aggressive with me was the landlord. it was like an eerie child mexican bed on the floor. only paying $300 for it. masturbating to his vulgar sex videos
  • 2/1 i had a dream i was in a room with dangerous people threatening me with knives. i finally got ahold of a knife and did the same to them. i seemed to be in another country
  • 2/3 dream about being related to the beatles. looking for bathroom i woke up. being totally with family. editing a porn star's essay about experiencing life sexually but having many opportunities and lovin...
jan 27 2018 ∞
jan 15 2019 +


  • sicario
  • you (season 2)
  • fox and his friends - rainer werner fassbinder
  • the juniper tree
  • punch drunk love
  • don jon
  • magic mike
  • a serious man
  • basic instinct


  • ford v. ferrari
  • prisoners
  • the boy next door
  • birds of prey
  • eat drink man woman - ang lee
  • looper
  • greta
  • little women - greta gerwig
jan 2 2020 ∞
apr 8 2020 +