jun 22 2020 ∞
jun 25 2020 +
  • a shooting star with golden doors that light up when you touch them -- always escaping yet always there
  • a slow tortoise made out of clouds -- sometimes pocket sized, sometimes as big as the sky
  • a large buoyant laugh bellowing stronger and stronger until it freezes time, turning into a deep bass
  • a burning purple flag, a low flame so absolute, an owl honestly himself
feb 28 2018 ∞
jun 5 2020 +
  • 01/21 i had a dream that i was staying in a hotel. my room happened to be very large - it was the size of a house, actually. there was a large and wide staircase leading up to the main bedroom. beneath that were dingy rooms, an entire floor devoted to mess and poorly made furniture. above that was a luxurious room, in which a large bed lied against a black headboard. i entered the room with only the goal of sleep. soon before i knew it, i was fast asleep in the dark, with only a dim light on. i awoke at somewhere between 1:58 am and 2:02 am, only to realize that i was supposed to meet moses at his apartment. i call him immediately. i tell him "hey, i'm sorry, i don't know what happened. the hotel here is nice." he says to me "ah, not really." i try to show him how nice the hotel is.
  • March sometime - I go to a party with Mos...
jan 21 2020 ∞
jul 7 2020 +

rectification of a forgotten need like traveling into the only mouth that knows what words you do not say

nobody is protected from their desires

they wave their souls like sails, so i make messes to prove my separation from devotion

saturn like a closed door

can only hope to mimic openness

until one of his feet is out the door

i'm frozen on the other side

aug 20 2014 ∞
jun 4 2020 +

hoping

that my detachment was not passive but objective. then the time we got mad at each other. you bought me two birds. i had two. i thought, i already have two. what am i going to do with two more birds?

you thought i could love them. you didn’t know i didn’t love the two birds i already had

i was mad because i didn’t want more. i didn’t need more. then we gave them all away and i didn’t have to worry about them anymore.

and the house

was silent and you

silent

you said you just wanted to make me happy. i don’t get to choose how people love me. i don’t have to be happy with everything someone does. out of love or any other reason

i’m happy now. i take care of myself. i...

jun 15 2020 ∞
jun 15 2020 +

the drug addict brain is always looking for the next resentment to hold close to itself. it will look for this resentment to justify why it feels wronged, why it wants you to cave. this consistent and constant victimization of oneself looks for nothing but trouble from others and in the absence of trouble will provoke it in order to feel terminally unique.

unequipped to handle life the addict will continuously create in their mind a long, winding, never-ending narrative that always postures themselves as the victims of others’ wrongdoing. the inability to handle life makes them equally unable to perceive life as it actually is. only a higher power can step in and intervene with the tendrils of self-victimization that seem to so fully “support” the addict’s thinking.

without the tools of living life the addict fails to live in reality and takes to ...

jan 30 2018 ∞
jun 5 2020 +
apr 23 2014 ∞
jun 4 2020 +