i am not sorry

my head isn't so heavy as is the clocks, the papers, did you know that your vision gets worse when all you do is look, i guess i didn't and thought i was better than that

long lip paintings,

longing wet silence

there's listening to us

here's to us,

here's to you, especially, breathing properly is better all the time

than like me and the lungs i have

whats smaller than you and red?

don't allow me to speak in a recognizable language

i want to learn my own,

the one i grew up with,

do you too know the meanings of things you don't understand

and do you know why thats what i know, its our little secret

oct 14 2020 ∞
oct 14 2020 +
jun 22 2020 ∞
jun 25 2020 +

dragging myself across every half minute, time does its thing and then

sometimes it doesn't, like i remember it all half worse or full worse,

screaming at me like a backwards portal

wow i'm so sick of

wow i'm so sick of

yeah it was bad then, it got so bad. i have to admit it and there's nobody i want to take there with me anymore, i didn't want to then, did you know that there's a choice where we can go

i've been going now it's pretty much just me here, it's quite nice and sometimes time doesn't do what it promised me like i remember it all the way it was the way it didn't have to be

i dreamed a terrible dream tonight i took someone with me an imaginary place worse in its own memory of itself

so messy, my house was different, my sister smoked clove cigarettes in the house, ...

aug 21 2020 ∞
aug 21 2020 +
  • a shooting star with golden doors that light up when you touch them -- always escaping yet always there
  • a slow tortoise made out of clouds -- sometimes pocket sized, sometimes as big as the sky
  • a large buoyant laugh bellowing stronger and stronger until it freezes time, turning into a deep bass
  • a burning purple flag, a low flame so absolute, an owl honestly himself
feb 28 2018 ∞
jun 5 2020 +
  • 01/21 i had a dream that i was staying in a hotel. my room happened to be very large - it was the size of a house, actually. there was a large and wide staircase leading up to the main bedroom. beneath that were dingy rooms, an entire floor devoted to mess and poorly made furniture. above that was a luxurious room, in which a large bed lied against a black headboard. i entered the room with only the goal of sleep. soon before i knew it, i was fast asleep in the dark, with only a dim light on. i awoke at somewhere between 1:58 am and 2:02 am, only to realize that i was supposed to meet moses at his apartment. i call him immediately. i tell him "hey, i'm sorry, i don't know what happened. the hotel here is nice." he says to me "ah, not really." i try to show him how nice the hotel is.
  • March sometime - I go to a party with Mos...
jan 21 2020 ∞
jul 7 2020 +

rectification of a forgotten need like traveling into the only mouth that knows what words you do not say

nobody is protected from their desires

they wave their souls like sails, so i make messes to prove my separation from devotion

saturn like a closed door

can only hope to mimic openness

until one of his feet is out the door

i'm frozen on the other side

aug 20 2014 ∞
jun 4 2020 +

find you laying in the sun, laying in the sun

hold on too tight, to tighten

i won't do that

feel you flowing through my fingers,

all the time now its a lot better than

wondering why its wet,

why its flowing

why its flowing through my fingers

what you think is best

what do we have on the wall

i love space and taking my self to a new place

oct 7 2020 ∞
oct 7 2020 +

hoping

that my detachment was not passive but objective. then the time we got mad at each other. you bought me two birds. i had two. i thought, i already have two. what am i going to do with two more birds?

you thought i could love them. you didn’t know i didn’t love the two birds i already had

i was mad because i didn’t want more. i didn’t need more. then we gave them all away and i didn’t have to worry about them anymore.

and the house

was silent and you

silent

you said you just wanted to make me happy. i don’t get to choose how people love me. i don’t have to be happy with everything someone does. out of love or any other reason

i’m happy now. i take care of myself. i...

jun 15 2020 ∞
jun 15 2020 +
apr 23 2014 ∞
jun 4 2020 +