listography: Becktard

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Taylor

i was an indian man, and i was flying on a plane with my family members. they were all very into their religion and i, for some reason, was expected to be moreso than them. in the dream, i was on the plane and the entire time i battled with my own ideas on what sort of religion i believe in. i came to the conclusion, in the end, that i had no religion i could not bear witness to.
i came downstairs after taking a bath, and i had on a shirt but no pants, which is pretty normal in real life. but in my dream i was a lot skinnier, and my dad pointed at my hipbones and said 'what are those?' and i looked down, and the sight of them disgusted me, the way they were jutting out and such. i said 'they're my hipbones.' and he replied saying that he didn't like them.

jan 21 2010 ∞
jan 21 2010 +

mar 27 2009 ∞
jan 20 2010 +

sometimes i change plans last minute.
i'm sick all the time.
and easy to upset.
i can't deal with commitment very well.
and have to be reminded that you want me.
and i am good enough for you.
i have low self esteem.
and freak out in public situations.
i procrastinate a lot and it causes problems with scheduling.
because of past circumstances, i sometimes flinch away from contact like someones hand on my shoulder or i won't enjoy kissing you as much as you may like.

mar 11 2009 ∞
jan 21 2010 +

jan 7 2009 ∞
may 1 2009 +

jan 7 2009 ∞
may 1 2009 +

jan 7 2009 ∞
feb 10 2009 +

i've had crohn's disease ever since i was around seven or so. this means i take a lot of pills.
i'm also dealing with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. this means i tend to freak out at times and i'm prone to paranoia.
i don't believe in love. i believe in developing habits with certain people and being capable of dealing with them for certain amounts of time.
if i think you're a bad person, i'm going to treat you like a bad person. that's just how it goes.
if i'm walking around and look like a zombie and get bitchy when you come up to me, expect it. try again later and if my meds are done fucking with me or i'm feeling better, i'll give you a hug and be the most lovable person you know.
music is one of the few things i can rely...

jan 21 2010 ∞
jan 21 2010 +

people who help restore my faith in humanity.
striking up a really nice conversation with a really nice stranger.
finding people who finally agree with you about things on some level.
being a total dork about something and not having to worry about people looking at you funny.
a really good book that makes you think.
discovering your brotherly figure does care about you on some level.

may 5 2009 ∞
may 5 2009 +