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"My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle."

Sir, the silliness radar is detecting a huge disturbance just north of San Diego, California. Scramble the jets!

Brianna follows:
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The Vagabond Tweets

  • Come up with a better title/Twitter account name
    • Play on homelessness - give it humor like "Sh*t My Dad Says*
  • Heighten the stakes for everyone
    • Specify what is at stake if June lets Lyonel stay? If Bradley does?
  • Improve flow of the scenes--keep the ball in the air instead of letting it drop
  • What is the MDQ?
    • Make sure it gets answered by the end of the play.
  • What am I trying to say about Bradley and June's world views?
    • Give them very specific, idiosyncratic belief systems that they reveal over the course of the play.
  • Use more interesting anecdotes and non-sequiteurs instead of being so blunt.
  • Specify character relationships.
  • What is Lyonel like? Be more clear about why he uses certain behaviors.
  • ADD MORE PASSION.
  • First scene needs more of a spark or a hook--needs to be more compelling, raise questions or strong opinions about the characters.
feb 8 2011 ∞
feb 14 2011 +