• Continuing to kick school's ass
• Wasting time in the library café
• Sleeping in Becca's bed
• ANGST
• Drawing on my skin
• Walking to school with music
• The Internet is for Porn

• you know who i mean
• tell me what it means
• is it me?
• fuck you

• Start my abroad-blog.
• Make a joint twitter/snapfish for everyone's personal amusement.
• Book more trips!
• Be a tourist in London, get a city map, do all the dorky stuff, read my guidebook.

• Counting down until London
• That Becca is listing so much lately
• Vacuum-pack bags
• Hey Soul Sister by Train
• The OC
• Breaking in my new boots
• Running errands with Amy
• Tea

• Mulan
• Thirteen
• Second Hand Lions
• Enchanted
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
• The Butterfly Effect
• Cruel Intentions
• Monsters Inc
• (500) Days of Summer

• Postman's Park
• Speaker's Corner
• Middle Temple
• Watch a Trial at Old Bailey/Central Criminal Court
• Tate Modern
• Brian Haw in Parliament Square
• The Prime Meridian
• The Royal Society
• Highgate Cemetery
• The School of Life

• Send out all these emails that I need to. Poo.
• Take a practice LSAT.
• Get into decent running shape.
• Find a London jacket.
• Kick my Tylenol PM addiction.

• See lovely people in both of my states.
• Visit Kim in Boston, see Bentley with Mike.
• Have lunch with G-Ma Kate/Claire in NYC, force Grace to come with me.
• SOMEHOW see Jen before leaving for the UK.
• Mia's baby shower!! 1/3/10
• Hang out on the dock even if it is snowy and/or icy.
• Visit J-town finally.
• Ring in the new year with the Pop's/attempt a new "First Night" excursion with Meredith.
• Force myself to like yoga.
• Try and get in shape so I don't get winded touring European cities. Seriously.
• Organize things for London: order books, pack, get things in line (all encompassing).
• Go to Twist a million times.

• Richard III
• Richard II
• 1 Henry IV
• 2 Henry IV
• Henry V
• Measure for Measure
• Taming of the Shrew
• Hamlet
• Romeo and Juliet

• Spiking our iced tea on the way to Martha's Vineyard, and being drunk by 9:30 am on the ferry.
• Dancing on the roof of Katie's car to African music, being able to see our breath but still sweating like crazy. Collapsing on the pavement and knowing that we were almost out of time.
• Walking around Princeton, chain-smoking and rediscovering why were friends in the first place. Flirting with the Starbucks barista while they waited for me to get my girly out.
• Having H.Pas back in my life, even for the smallest time. Going canoeing together, lying on the Battlefield, making him breakfast, going with him to get glasses and passport photos and other silly errands, being toted around like his little sister, being ultimately comfortable even though so much time had passed, missing him.

• I am a beautiful person because I still believe that beauty exists in the world and I strive to see it. Not for any other reason. Ugliness is becoming cynical, judgmental, jaded.
• Get a grip on yourself, Steph!
• I want to meet with Mark Shiner so I can begin to understand things.
• Wherever I end up in the world, it needs to be near the water. Growing up on the ocean means it never leaves you, that you can't shake the waves, that you miss it each time you leave it. So what if Bibi never let me swim at Barrington Beach (ew red water), I'm a seaside girl.
• Hating people takes a physical toll. It's not worth it.

• Novel from Quarantine
• Oh Kimmy Brown
• The Eggplant Rodeo and other purple places (short stories)
• Questions for Alicia
• Well-intentioned Felonies
• In Defense of Honeydew
• Possibly Change Everything
• The Lacey Words of Beautiful People
• I'm Doing This For Lover Boy/From the Mouth of a Lover Boy

• Research Methods paper EGAD
• Brain and Behavior Test this Friday
• India Paper due 10/15
• Shakespeare, catch up on reading

• Making a decision to not kiss a boy I wanted too has interesting repercussions. I am not sorry that I want the next boy I kiss to be my husband (or at least something more than a silly, drunk kiss)
• Ambient lighting is more important than ever but each morning I forget the feelings of the night before and therefore lose the motivation to fix the problem.
• My ankle/calve is on the front of the oldest weekly in the country.
• Taking on the identity, persona, etc of a tour guide and receiving hugs and applause at the end of it all.

TBC...

• Avant garde
• Anal retentive
• Outspoken versus Soft-spoken
• Postmodernism
• Critically-acclaimed

• Vienna
• Paris
• Rome
• Dubai
• Geneva
• Zurich
• Istanbul
• Tokyo
• Athens
• Dakar
• Santo Domingo
• Florence
• Copenhagen
• Taipei
• Hefei
• Pesaro
• Stockholm

• In the face of an overpowering mystery, you don't dare disobey.
• I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously.
• "It's a question of discipline" the Little Prince told me later on. "When you've finished washing and dressing each morning, you must tend your planet."
• I didn't know what to say. How clumsy I felt! I didn't know how to reach him, where to find him.. It's so mysterious, the land of tears.
• What is it about my admiration that interests you so much?
• Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.
• [In reference to people] you never know where to find them. They have no roots, which hampers them a good deal.
• If you come at 4 in the afternoon, I'll begin to be happy by 3. The closer it gets...

• The Tao of Pooh
• The Cider House Rules
• Brave New World
• 100 Years of Solitude
• My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead
• The Lord of The Rings
• Wuthering Heights
• Lolita
• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
• The Handmaid's Tale
• 1984
• Siddhartha
• The Little Giant of Aberdeen County
• Gilead
• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
• Blink
• Sense and Sensibility
• Life of Pi
• Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell

• It's witty jokes that you almost miss and feel really smart when you catch them.
• The color choice: murder + whimsical colors makes it much less scary.
• Charlotte Charles is beautiful, wonderfully innocent, and wide-eyed.
• The idea that too people can be so in love without touching.
• Childhood sweethearts.
• Delicious pies.
• The creative name choices of all the major AND minor characters.
• The extended hand on a stick that Ned uses to pet Digby.

• Beautiful pairings of words
• Things that make me stop
• Favorite publications
• Things that I wish I could like
• People I want to get to know better
• New school year attitudes and aspirations
• Beautiful features in men and women
• Activities for Fall 2009
• Hobbies to reconnect with
• A typical day in SemesterF09
• Wedding fever
• Baby names
• Titles for my novel
• Ways to improve my Spanish
• Improvements in my organization/planning: staying on top of my shit
• Fitness goals for Fall 2009
• Strange, often overlooked things that interest me
• Delicious foods

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower
• A Thousand Splendid Suns
• Loving Frank
• What Was Lost
• The Gum Thief
• Censoring an Iranian Love Story
• The Geography of Bliss
• A Wrinkle In Time
• The Abstinence Teacher
• A Prayer for Owen Meaney
• Northstar Advanced Reading and Writing
• The Summer@Brown 2009 RA Handbook
• The Little Prince
• The Little Giant of Aberdeen County

• Apply make-up (except mascara).
• French braid.
• Focus.
• Conjugate Spanish verbs in the preterite.
• Not be hard on myself.
• Be on time.
• Drive a stick shift.
• Seduce a professor (I have time to work on this one).
• Not hate my ex's new girls or my boyfriend's old ones.
• Strike through words on listography.
• Blow my nose properly.
• Admit I am sick when I actually am.
• Let go of the past.
• Make distribution lists on gmail.

• The omlettes (made by Phil) and unlimited coffee.
• The fiesta wear.
• Jean (most of the time).
• Pesto.
• The quiet times when it is socially acceptable to sit at a table by yourself.
• The relative privacy of the bathroom.
• Table of Babel (I've never been but I like the sound of it.)
• The high side tables.
• The secret fridge full of soy milk.
• The cereal bins.
• Cupcake Saturday.
• Theme nights.
• The comment board.

• An Intro To Literary History Course (Brit Lit, taken)
• An Intro to Literary Analysis (Tragedy and Tragic Vision, taking)
• 2 Pre-1800 300-Level Courses (Shakespeare and One Other.. to take)
• 2 Post-1800 300-Level Courses (American Writers Abroad, London Theatre.. to take)
• 3 Creative Writing Workshops (Intro to Fiction, Travel Writing and one more)
• 1 Seminar (can be taken as a pre/post-1800 course)
• Other electives:
• Basic Acting
• Children's Theatre
• Stage Management Practicum

• Openness to New Experience: 70th percentile
• Consientiousness: 6th percentile
• Extraversion: 64th percentile
• Agreeableness: 69th percentile
• Neuroticism: 66th percentile

• Emily. I have never met an Emily in my life that didn't have some sort of fucked up problems. Naming my daughter Emily would be condemning her to a miserable, joyless life.
• Justin. It's awful, everything about it. How could someone with the name Justin turn out to be anything but a creature of the deep. (JT excluded)
• Stephanie. No Stephanie the Seconds in my future.
• Katharine/Catherine/Kathryn etc. The name itself isn't that bad but shortened to Cathy makes me want to vom.
• Any boy's name that could be confused for a girl's name: Ashley, Kelly, Sasha, Riley, etc. That's cruel.
• Anything that ends in an "i" Stripper much?

• Creative writing professor at a small but elite and intellectual liberal arts college where I can have amazing hours, sip black coffee, and be friends with young hip college students
• Published author. Obviously this requires some serious inspiration.
• Investigative/Broadcast Journalist. What's the difference, no idea.
• SVU Lawyer, saving the world one case at a time.
• High powered corporate businesswoman (yawn)
• Big animal vet, specializing in zoo animals. Giraffes and cheetahs only please.
• Broadway star, after I have a voice transplant
• Admissions officer at a top college, I can't wait to read what those smarty seniors have come up with
• Nonprofit director, something that feels ...

• Introduction to Religion
• Introduction to Psychology
• Western Traditions
• Basic Acting
• Children's Theatre
• The Challenge of Modernity
• Gender and Conflict
• British Literature
• Intro to Creative Writing Fiction
• Intermediate Spanish
• Ecology, Ethics, and Wilderness
• Presidency and Executive Leadership
• Currently taking: Comparitive Politics of the Middle East, Personality and Social Pyschology, Spanish Lang and Lit, Tragedy and Tragic Vision, Stage Management Practicum, Geography: The Stolen Generation.

• Niagara Falls
• Canada (Which cities are near us?)
• Syracuse to visit Meredith
• Miami (with B to visit Kim and Cassie)
• Boston (also with B to visit Mike and Scott)
• Georgetown in January to see Lucy's play

• Because I have issues working not under pressure
• Because I thought analyzing Wall-To-Walls was more important than analyzing Emerson
• Because I took caffeine pills
• Because travel writing, as general rule, is kind of dinky
• Because I stayed up way to late last night

lackkkkoffslleeepppequalsdrruuguse

• Paris
• Barcelona
• Florence
• Prague
• Rome
• Athens
• Vienna

• The Pied Piper (Rat)
• The Granny Awards (Little Red Riding Hood)
• Charlotte's Web (Goose)
• Weird Child Labor play/Weird WWII gypsy play (random child laborers and gypsies, Liv)
• Weird Repunzal on Crack play (The 'clown' who climbs her hair)
• A Midsummer Night's Dream (Puck)
• Journey on the SS Calliope (Maria)
• Pompadours and Poodle Skirts (Sandra)
• Once Upon A Mattress (Lady in Waiting)
• Julius Caesar (Calpurnia)
• Children's Theater Lifeboat (Adrian's weird character)
• The Vagina Monologues (Group monologue and the little coochie snorcher that could)
• Children's Theatre Charlotte's Web (Goose, a triumphant return)

Inspired by Becca

• The deck on the Vineyard
• The dock in Bristol
• My roof
• The clearing with the big tree on the walk to school
• The Brickyard Pond neighborhood
• Narnia/The Arboretum
• The fountain
• Thayer Street
• Wriston quad/The Main Green
• The back patio of Lawrence Hall
• The 2nd floor Curtis fishbowl
• Hascall Hall
• 12 Lebanon
• The Chapel at St. George's
• The bridge at State Beach
• Kripalu
• The backyard of Bubbe and Papoo's house
• Emma's house/giant rock
• The woods on Wheeler Farm

• Jan 4: Kiss Lucy good-bye, organize, etc.
• Jan 5: JTown Party. Visit Grace.
• Jan 6/7: Organize, pack things, mill about while appearing productive.
• Jan 8/9/10: Crunchy yogi-time at Kripalu.
• Jan 11: Recover from crunchville.
• Jan 12: Again, organize, pack things, and feign productiveness.
• Jan 13: Pick up Bex from the Airport.
• Jan 14: Jetset for European adventures.
• Jan 15/16/17: Settle into "the flat".
• Jan 18: First day of classes!!

• Ephemeral
• Breasts
• Bodies of water
• Feeling trapped
• FUCK
• My dad's real, real laugh
• Mike's ringback
• Broadway star
• Hmm accountant, investment banker, insurance sales-woman
• YO GURL, good to see you

• Cell phone#1: Motorola pay-as-you-go birthday present from the Kerwin's in 8th grade. I don't think I ever used it.
• LG Flip Phone, to take with me when I left for boarding school. Always used with the 'cancer-free head set'. I didn't figure out how to use T9 for almost 2 years.
• Samsung flip phone, the one that EVERYONE HAD. Right before the era of the Razor.
• I had a couple of those, usurped Bibi's old one, Mike's old one, finally Kim's old one. A PARADE OF THE SAMSUNG FLIP PHONES.
• Casio G'zOne Type S. The legendary, indestructible Captian Jack (no longer named C. Jack due to a FEW casualties).
• The Emergency Phone. A secret pay-as-you-go flip phone that lives in my desk just in case something goes wrong with the Captain Jack of the moment.

• A plane ticket to somewhere exotic, maybe warm, maybe not.
• To be done with my paper.
• A new attitude.
• Clean laundry.
• A new butterflies inducing crush that is not a joke.
• A new itunes library full of hip tunes.
• A good singing voice, acting talent, Broadway stardom.

• Glee
• Desperate Housewives
• Eastwick
• Lie to Me
• Roseanne (slash ALL Nick@Nite)
• That 70's Show
• House
• Seinfeld (If I'm watching it with my dad)

• Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.
• I'm glad we never saw the ocean together.
• I am prone to highs and lows. I feel true, inspired happiness and pure, bleak sadness. I feel both excited and scared, confident and insecure. I feel both ends of the spectrum. I wonder if life is easier if you center yourself among them, if you don't feel high and lows but instead live in careful, consistent equilibrium. Maybe the sunrise wouldn't be such an adventure but then the sunset wouldn't be so sad either, and you could be thankful for the splash of colors it left behind rather than mourn its absence.
• I discovered the heater!
• I seriously need to stop spontaneously crying

• Low grade fever turning into full fledged fever
• Headache, forehead area
• Swollen glands
• Sore throat
• Body aches (shoulders and hips)
• SLEEPINESS
• Runny nose, sneezing
• Coughing
• Eyes being all weird and congested too

• Teach For America
• Fulbright ETA
• Travel and be a penniless beggar
• Work at a NE boarding school
• Law School
• Graduate School at Oxford
• Look into MFA programs
• Psychological Research (Hey Kimmy)
• BARISTA (life-goal)
• TALK SHOW HOSTESS (get discovered)

• Boring, dull, unoriginal
• Intimidating, cold
• Pretentious
• Too crazy that you can't relate to me
• Suffocating
• Selfish
• Immoral
• Slutty

• A policeman take a break from his job directing traffic to send what must have been a very important text message.
• Waking up after napping on the train to look out my window and see the harbor and the light brilliantly bright off the water, the sun already sinking. It was somewhere around Old Saybrook.
• The reflection of the Woody on the fountain and knowing the water would never be stiller than the long ripples of tonight.
• Listening to The Fear You Won't Fall and connecting to it in a different way: Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall.
• Loving the sweet taste of my teeth after smoking cloves but hating the unexpected tobacco smell of my hands.

TBC...

• Leather vest. Too small to button over my boobs but super awesome anyways. Old, pretty leather
• Awkward yellow, green, and brown flowered sheer blouse (meant to wear under the awesome leather vest)
• Brown beaded skirt
• Vintage Dooney & Burke Equestrian Bag
• White tank-top hippie shirt
• Earnest Sewn jeans
• Urban grey skinny jeans
• Grey Matty M vest
• Cool rock-thing necklace on a long gold chain
• Gold/Flower ring

• Getting to know the Psychology department (Kelly)
• Fall colors
• Wearing my Frye boots
• Tailgates
• My view of Taylor Lake
• Continuing this beautiful season of self-discovery
• Beta Beach will be my almost-next-door neighbor
• Having the most beautiful walk to class and leaving my room early enough to appreciate it and breath
• Having JavaJava at my fingertips
• Meeting new people all over campus
• Rugby season
• A new environment to inspire me for my novel

• Decided to write a gushing letter to Gregory and The Hawk.
• Decided that the song Isabelle describes me.
• Told the Oral Surgeon that if he didn't do a good job I would write him into my novel in an unflattering way.
• Started crying without even realizing it.
• Cracked smiles alone in the room.

• Sewing, quilting, making lame stuffed animals and ugly-enough-to-be-cool tote bags
• Photography (NOT DIGITAL), processing film, printing in high contrast, hand-coloring photos
• Drawing in sidewalk chalk
• Treasure-hunting
• Pogo-sticking, trampoline-jumping, moon-shoe bouncing.
• Lacrosse and field hockey
• Cheesy aerobics videos
• Making up games
• Video taping my brother playing "Doing Stupid Stuff For Money"
• Learning about shells, birds, and animal track
• Wading in shallow bodies of water including tide pools, the shoreline, ponds, and forest creeks
• Write letters.

• Adaptability
• Developer
• Ideation
• Learner
• Significance

• The back of my neck.
• My upper calf/knee area.
• My email outbox.
• My dirty laundry pile/hamper.
• My desk drawers.
• My planner.
• The small pockets in my backpack.
• Generally any folded up to-do list.

• Chip (preschool)
• Matt (kindergarten)
• Chris (1st grade)
• Matt (2nd/3rd grade)
• Andrew B. (4th grade)
• Cooper (5th grade)
• Andrew S.(5th-8th grade)
• Nolan (7th grade)
• Joe D. (9th grade)
• AJ (9th grade)
• Jack (10th grade)
• Phil (10th-13th grade)
• Matt (12th grade)
• Peter (13th and 14th grade)
• Christopher (Summer between 14th and 15th grade)
• I am currently in the market for a new crush/casual love, please forward all potential boys directly to me

• PSYC Research Methods
• CORE India
• A Social or Natural Science (Linguistic Sociology)
• English (Shakespeare)

• Food from the dining hall when you have an unlimited meal plan
• Your friends' bobby pins
• Anything in a Frat house basement small enough to smuggle out under your coat
• Shot glasses and salt shakers from illegal bars
• Toilet paper from any dorm
• Pens from the office supply closet

• Textbook Shopping. Expensive, yes, but so exciting. Every book is still the most interesting thing in the world. I love the feeling of finding that half-price used book with the spine uncracked.
• Blank Notebooks. So many opportunities.
• Meeting my new professors. Figuring out what they like is half the fun.
• Getting settled into a brand new schedule. Now when will I eat lunch?
• Reading the syllabi. I'm possibly the biggest dork I know.
• That "New Semester" Work Ethic. For three weeks, I'm the most studious kid I know.
• First Night Out. Man, I missed Nikolai.

• Themed mixers. I only like going out if I'm wearing a ridiculous outfit. Biker chick, school girl, ugly sweaters please.
• Fun T-Shirts with inside jokes/inappropriate sayings/our letters
• Dirty rushing freshmen girls
• Leadership positions (just call me Miss President)
• Fun community service events. Breakfast in bed, see-sawing all night, sounds like a blast.
• The meet people I otherwise wouldn't have.
• To live in a cool house.

• Oxford
• St. Andrews
• University of Stolkholm
• Barcelona
• Prague
• Buenos Aires
• Florence
• Berlin
• Kenya

• RA: 3A-June21st-July 9th, 3B-July12th-July30th
• Other (POTENTIALLY)
  • TA for Intro to Psych June 21st-July 9th
  • Working in a coffee shop???
  • DGuides (please hire me)

• AmWriAbroad Midterm
• Admissions Interview
• Summer@Brown Interview
• Meet with JBrice
• History class, theatre class
• Field School Application
• Packing for Prague/Athens
• Printing boarding passes, changing money, all that crap.
• BOOK HOSTELS
• Buying guidebooks for Praha and Athens

• "Hi, I'm Ricky Tentacle. I'm the bandit alien superhero from sector 7. I crashed here on your planet. Please help me fix my ship."
• Tablou/Playback
• You're so spontaneous, very very spontaneous. And a little wild. Thank you very much.
• Endless tea.
• Kate V., her tears.
• The circle of emotions.

• Southern Cross -The Vineyard Sound
• California Dreamin' -The Vineyard Sound
• Walking in Memphis -The Vineyard Sound
• Our Song -Taylor Swift (evidence of Grace messing my tunes)
• Body Language -Jesse McCartney
• The Way I Am -Ingrid Michaelson
• Change In My Life -The Vineyard Sound
• Ace of Spades -Jesse Ruben
• What I've Been Looking For -Sharpay and Ryan (HSM)
• Teardrops On My Guitar -Taylor Swift
• Something Like That -Tim McGraw
• Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillat) -Jason Mraz
• Something Pretty -Patrick Park
• Bubbly -Colbie Caillat
• I Go Back -Kenny Chesney
• Popular Mechanics For Lovers -Beulah
• I'm Yours -Jason Mraz
• The Fear You Won't Fall -Joshua Radin
• New Soul -Yael Naim

• Welcome to rugby they said to me, kind of sexually.
• You'll have stars that can laugh.
• I feel pretty confident that if you were actively drowning, I could save your life.

• Day 1: Arrive, settle in, WOITG, dinner, Nia.
• Day 2: Silent breakfast, Share Circle, dance kinetics, afternoon hiking or snowshoeing, moderate yoga, dinner, read and skip the concert.
• Day 3: Silent breakfast, Tai Chi, Dance Kinetics, hang, hike, write, read, dinner.
• Day 4: Silent breakfast, PEACE.

• It makes you look cooler.
• It gives you a reason for loitering in coffee shops and flirting with baristas named Greg.
• It reduces your chances of aggressive prostate cancer by up to 60%.
• It also reduces the chances of ailments applicable not only to men: Type 2 diabetes, stroke, colon cancer, Parkinson's.
• It's the pulse of indie culture.
• It improves mental and aerobic performance, endurance and mood while decreasing depressive symptoms.
• It gives you a good reason to carry around a cool to-go mug.
• It is the initiation into the adult world.
• It comes in cool varieties with WOLRDLY names like Columbian Blend, French Roast, Sumatra Bean, and Nantucket Mix.
• You can evaluate it like wine, citing it'...

• Maine
• Vermont
• New Hampshire
• Massachusetts
• Connecticut
• Rhode Island
• New York
• New Jersey
• Pennsylvania
• Maryland
• District of Columbia (That counts, right)
• Virginia
• North Carolina
• South Carolina
• Florida
• Tennessee
• Texas
• New Mexico
• Arizonia
• Minnesota

• A decade, Amy Lowell

When you came, you were like red wine and honey, And the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness. Now you are like morning bread, Smooth and pleasant. I hardly taste you at all for I know your savour, But I am completely nourished.

• We are all a little weird & life's a little weird & when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness & call it love.

• All the places I have ever lived.
• People I truly love.
• Baby names that I don't want to be judged for liking.
• Illuminating moments in my relationship with a certain boy, why I don't like him anymore.
• Like I said, about me.
• Why I believe in the moon, MOON PISCES.

• Island of the Blue Dophin
• The Phantom Tollbooth
• From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
• The Secret Garden
• The Ear, The Eye, and The Arm
• The Hobbit
• Dealing With Dragons
• Where the Red Fern Grows

• I want to write something so beautiful that it floods the earth with salty tears until the ink runs from my pages and all the world floats in a sea of my words, a bath of my metaphors, wiping imagery from their eyes. They will use blank pages to soak up the poetic mess I've made, pages that will in turn assemble themselves into stories, into books. Protagonists with their antonyms will step out of these books, squeezing through the drying lines of text, shaking off the paper dust. These characters will hold hands with me and you and all of the other real people, entirely unselfconscious of the fact that they are paper people.

• My novel is slightly concerned, not quite unhappy, but not satisfied. Not with you, oh never with you. My novel loves you, twists under your gaze. The bare essence of sensuality is you brushing your eyes over him. My novel is concerned about my effort, my commitment, and my creativity. He's tired of me scribbling on spare loose leaf, tired that I don't have a plan. "A plan, Steph, you need a plan. You need an idea of what is going to happen to me, an idea of what you want to say. I feel empty. You promised you wouldn't let that happen. You promised, you promised to let me grow." I did promise him that and I am ashamed of my cold fingers. My novel is my eldest son. Have I failed in what could be my biological destiny? Wasn't I born to be his mother? And here he is in mid-October, shivering because I forgot to buy him a sweater. At what point does he ...

• Break in my Rainbows
• Love my drive to school and breath lots of fresh-through-the-windows air
• Try to eat locally
• Be published in an Admissions publication
• Arrange (or get help arranging) a few songs/heavily recruit for the Mandrakes
• Be the featured user on Listography
• Keep my pee clear because of all the water I drink
• Do the intense medicine ball workout 2 times a week (a mere 2 times!! you can do it)
• Not let my heels get cracked and dry and gross
• Experiment with writing lyrics
• Work a little bit with Grace Fairbrother/kickstart my novel

• Best I've Ever Had by Drake
• The Fear You Won't Fall by Joshua Radin
• Boats and Birds by Gregory and The Hawk
• Sorry by Maria Mena
• Isabelle by Gregory and the Hawk
• Knock You Down by Keri Hilson
• Down by Jay Sean
• Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship
• Brand New Day by Joshua Radin
• I Saw by Matt Nathanson
• Collide by Howie Day (As arranged by the Brown Notes)

• Podcasts
• Having BOTH autobio and about me. Don't they both mean the same thing? Just one would suffice.
• Same goes for movies and film. I guess film is for pretentious people who only see movies that are so alternative they go by the title "films"
• Products. Vague, confusing, unnecessary.
• Categories that I will probably never use although they could be useful for others' listographies: videogames, software, financial, home and garden, internet video, links, news.
• Categories that I wholeheartedly approve of: observations, school, books, to do, travel, wishlist, relationships, about me
• Category that I made up and love: life music

• Metal water bottle with cool design (like the Peacock)
• Scale
• College-ruled comp books (the endless search continues)
• Stabilo pens
• Bic pens
• A prayer journal (something beautiful, almost inspiring, but also not fluffy or too girly)
• Tupperware and other things required for packing my lunch
• Already have BUT: my bike! Days without Brigham are not days at all..
• A battery for my 35mm and tons of black and white film
• Watch battery (steal a watch from Bibi)
• Speakers for my computer/iPod
• Tape deck for connecting my iPod to the car

• Get The Mandrakes off the ground and singing, arrange 4-5 songs, and make total fools out of ourselves.
• Keep TSS running as smoothly as possible.
• Hopefully co-lead Creative Writing Club at HCS and possibly work with an older age group.
• Try some outdoor-ed day trips! Go hiking.
• Be completely obsessed with Reefer Madness.
• Try and figure out a way to make Feel Comfortable in Your Genes work for OG.
• FOR ONCE, help edit Portfolio.
• Not do anything that stresses me out without making me happy (SGA, stupid other stuff that's unimportant).
• Spend a night with Meredith at Syracuse.
• Improve my tour-guiding abilities.

• Yoga
• Wine
• Fish
• Running
• Anna Karenina
• Old Movies
• Jazz and Classical Music
• High Heels
• Glamorous Clothing

• Extraverted
• iNtuitive
• Feeling
• Perceiving
• aka ENFP

• Mrs. Spence (6th grade)
• Mr. Kravitz (7th grade)
• Mrs. Bowman (8th grade)
• Dr. Byer (9th grade)
• Mrs. Davis (10th grade)
• Mr. Kohlman (11th grade)
• Ms. Panko (12th grade)
• Adrian (Freshmen Year)
• Dean Lowe (Freshmen Year)
• Jennifer Brice (Sophomore Year+beyond)
• Dean Mansfield (Sophomore Year)
• Dean Smith (Sophomore Year+beyond)
• Landon Reid (Sophomore Year+beyond)

• Public Health
• Women's Issues (Feminism?)
• Body Image/Self-Esteem in Adolescents
• Public Art/Cultural Preservation
• The Arts (Writing and Theatre)
• Journalism
• Psychopathology
• International Education
• Saving the World

• Pretend you've never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like they worked.
• Go on a walking journey and every fifteen feet draw a chalk arrow in the direction you're going. At the end of the trip, leave a big pile of chalk.
• Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn't really happen
• Go for a drive. You can only make right-hand turns. When you finally get stuck, turn around and then you can only make left-hand turns. Repeat until you find something interesting. Take pictures along the way!
• Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
• Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

• Slut.
• Bitch.
• Whore.
• Fat (specifically "I'm so fat").
• Ugly.
• Hate.
• Gay (I don't use it anymore but I need to start asking people to stop).
• WoOOo.
• Girl (to women who are no longer girls).
• Um.
• Like.
• Oh My God.

• The Manzi. A summer in Boston, decent money, pre-packaged social life. A promising option.
• Summer@Brown RA. I would get to hang with lots of cool, dorky, high school kids, take a class or get an internship, on top of free housing/RA wag
• Becca's Hawaii House. AMAZING, but far away. Get a cool internship, get really tan.
• Live in the City. Bibi and Ed already vetoed this one.
• Live in Pittsburgh. Except Peter would be my only friend.

• Friday
• Thursday
• Saturday
• Monday
• Sunday
• Wednesday
• Tuesday

• Make a quilt (or 2)
• Write lovely things
• Dust of my 35mm and take fun and interesting photos
• Run todos los días
• Listen to Spanish Music
• See Broadways Shows
• Apply to Oxford/Brown
• Buy an LSAT study book
• Sunlessly tan (without a tanning booth)
• Go on interesting day trips with Bibi (The MoMA, Phillie, etc.)