• (September.) I stayed but love left
• (a smothered mind.) so much sadness in her silence

so many questions on her mind

• girl sitting alone.

lips the color of blood

hair tangled down

to the roots

peace has forgotten

your name

love has become

a stranger

• torn mentally.

was it real

will you remember me

do you miss me yet

i ask questions

i know the answers to

i overthink myself

into a mood

that robs me of my happiness

i am at my worst

with you on my mind

• of torment.

memories are just

painful daydreams

nightmares for the restless

visions of ghosts

a continuous haunt

• rarity.

she will always be

some sort of rare occurrence

that you couldn’t appreciate

and no matter how much

time passes

she’ll be the girl

you will never forget

• out loud.

don’t hide her

love her out loud

• peace compromised.

i watch you

compromise

your peace of mind

for the chaos of a man

who is incapable

of loving you

and i hope you find

the strength

to walk away

• before and after.

he used to look like love

she used to be so happy

• the 15th floor.

and here i stand

surrounded by my own tears

knee deep in my own demons

reaching for the same hand

who pushed me over the edge

• too late, soon after.

my heart

a pistol of emotion

that i’ve turned against myself

causing my own demise

while choosing to love you

• darkest days.

i am poetry

written on imaginary lines

the words on crumpled up paper

tossed in the trash

i am poetry

only expressed while in pain

only written down

during bouts of insanity

i am poetry

in search of peace

while the chaos of this world

continues to haunt me

i am poetry . . .

• reactionary to pain.

i can hear the blood

rushing through my veins

like cars on highways

my heart begins to crack

under the pressure

of loving you

i am now waist deep

in the flood of everything

we were

and everything we

should’ve been and usually

i’d try for you

but this time

i'm saving myself

• the girl in photos.

in all honesty

i believe my truth

exists within you

i believe that i’ll find

the love that i’m after

behind the walls

of your broken heart

i see beauty in your brokenness

i see value in your existence

and i’m inspired by your strength

you’re the type of woman

who deserves what she gives

you’re the type of woman

who’d make the reaper

want to live

roses envy you

blooming beneath the sun

staring at photos of you

i’m starting to think

i’ve found the one

• onward.

always saying i’ll leave tomorrow

but tomorrow came today

i tried fighting for your love

and now i can no longer stay

• one line left.

lately i’ve been walking the line

of insanity

seemingly daring myself

to cross the line of crazy

nearing the edge of losing my mind

and i know that if i break

that barrier

i won’t know how

to find my way back

• the 13th.

i stopped believing in you

sometime back

before i felt secure

back when you actually

made an effort

and now i’m staring in the mirror

at a face that i don’t recognize

once happy because of you

now there’s only sadness left

i miss the way we were

i miss the way you used

to treat me

i’ve been missing the version

of you

that made me feel

like i was someone

worth loving

what happened to us

• weak foundation.

love built on any lie

will crumble

• you, muse.

and you’re the girl

poets love to write about

• you, muse.

and you’re the girl

poets love to write about

• any year.

this year

drained me dry

this year

was the hardest

of my life

• much stronger.

they can’t break the woman

who has built her strength

on the pain she’s experienced

• artists in suffering.

inspired by sadness

my writer’s block is joy

• forcing my hand.

be the person you promise

to become after every argument

give me the love

you claim to have

whenever you’re sorry

i can’t keep going back

to a place that brings me harm

i refuse to hold on

while you force me to let go

• whiskey on my tongue.

lies on lucifer’s lips

my heart in the hands of god

my eyes on my future

my hands gripping my past

i’d like to move on

but it’s a struggle letting go

my truth hidden in these words

the pain residing in my soul

i scream silently

my sadness hidden beneath my smile

i’ve been missing my peace of mind

and the innocence i had as a child

god grant me serenity

my heart cries for something more

i fear that if i talk to god

with whiskey on my breath

i’ll get ignored

• written in darkness.

nothingness fills our room

consumed by our own brokenness

undone by tainted love

we were never supposed

to survive this

i’m learning to accept this truth

• loose shoestrings.

i tripped over your lies

and fell in love

with the person

you pretended to be

• my struggle is yours.

sometimes i struggle with the idea

of someone loving me completely

sometimes i fear that i may not

love myself enough

too much of me has been wasted

pretending to be happy

content with my own damnation

content with the hell that i built

on lies of love

and this need to fill my own void

of loneliness

i struggle with the future

my past overshadowed

by all the toxic relationships

that led to heartache

and even though the present

should be a gift in this moment

i struggle with hope

for hope has often been

the enemy

and everything i hoped for

has often gone up in flames

turning my dreams into ashes

but this is my struggle

and this is my story

• invisible.

i wear the names

of my abusers

on my skin in invisible ink

but even while no one notices

it still hurts

deep under my skin

where their hands once touched me

bruises unseen by others

my smile has become a distraction

oftentimes i use happiness

to conceal the chaos

that has plagued my life