📍 The Early RED Flags [First-Second Month, Sep–Oct]

• You accused me of sneaking out at night simply because a black car was parked outside our house.
• You accused me of going out of the house without your permission because you saw in the video call that I was wearing pajama-style pants. The reason why I wore it is because there were so many mosquitos at that time.
• In the comment section of my posts, you would accuse me or my friends of talking about you. Specifically, accusing me of talking about a boy, "the crab king" where my friend and I were just exchanging playful banters referring to Game of Thrones.
• You felt jealous of a waiter at KR just because I walked ahead in a hurry—when you knew we were rushing to catch the bank before closing. You said that I like "bb boys". From then on, I never smiled at waitstaff or ordered so that you will not take it negatively.

Time and again, I reassured you. I explained. I defended myself against things that only existed in your mind. And still, I stayed. Still, I chose patience, believing love would be enough. Because of love, you proposed to me on October 29, 2024, and because of love, I said yes. I thought that moment meant all doubts would finally disappear—that your trust in me would be whole. But I was wrong.

📍 More RED Flags that I chose to ignore [Third Month, Nov]

• On November 28, when you took me to the airport, we were already engaged. I believed we were solid. But even then, when I ran to buy something from a convenience store, you assumed I was calling or messaging someone behind your back.
• And then, when I was in Australia, the accusations continued. You wanted to see my Facebook settings. You wanted to dig to the point of disrespecting my privacy. My boundaries, which I thought you understood, only made you more suspicious of me.

My friends saw how exhausting it was. “Love without trust will not survive.” I refused to believe that. And yet, here we are—almost three months in, having survived everything, but at what cost? We spent Christmas, New Year, and your birthday together. I gave you my time, my heart, my understanding. Then, on January 19, we moved in together. Because of love. I left my family, despite their disapproval of us. I was even ready to have a child with you. I truly thought we had finally made it—free from outside pressures, engaged, living in our own home with Liam and Chibi. It should have been the happiest time of our lives. But it wasn’t enough.

I left everything behind for you, but your doubts only got worse. You even said, "Anyone can leave their family." And that I "should be grateful that he accepted me and he put me in a beautiful home unlike other single moms".

📍 RED Flags that I had to endure [4th–6th Month, Jan–Apr]

• You accused me of letting men into our house whenever the gate was open.
• When you drove Liam to school, you suspected that I entertained men in the short time you were gone.
• You doubted me even when you left for just 10 minutes to buy me medicine, convinced I had done something in that impossibly short time.
• You became suspicious of how I held my phone, how I placed it face down, how I switched tabs—every little thing became a reason for you to doubt me.
• Even when I simply bought BBQ, you imagined I was meeting someone else, without a single shred of proof.
• You even sneak in the window just to check what I am doing!!!
• You even doubted whether I truly wanted a baby with you just because I took paracetamol—implying that my headache wasn’t real, that I was only taking it to avoid getting pregnant.
• On February 28, I accidentally saw Gladys Carreon at the top of your Messenger list. Your last conversation was on January 29. This was the same woman you pursued before we got together—the same woman whose name I had asked you to remove from your life out of respect for our relationship. You had told me she was “papansin,” always liking and reacting to your posts, yet you refused to unfriend her. And when I confronted you that night, asking you to block her, you said: "Why would I do that? She did nothing to me."
• After months of constant accusations, it turned out to be you all along. I have spent this entire relationship proving my loyalty to you, sacrificing my own peace, walking on eggshells, and yet you were the one who broke my trust. I have done everything a woman could do to prove her faithfulness, but when it was your turn to prove something, you couldn’t even do the bare minimum. And that’s when I finally saw the real you. You were not just afraid of being betrayed—you were masking your own potential to cheat. You weren’t protecting our relationship from harm. You were projecting your own guilt onto me.

📍 I Still Stayed. But It Got Worse. We even transferred to a more beautiful home near Almani. And I thought my nightmare is over. But it got worse and worse. It is the same delusion that I was being unfaithful, but different situations.

You accused me of wanting to sing karaoke in Almani because there were men outside. I was not paying attention at all to these men as there were many karaoke areas. And I begged and pleaded for you to please believe me because I never thought of it that way. But you were convinced and even told me that you can see it in my eyes and I always deny.

On April 16, you accused me of fishing attention from a small group of young men. You said that, “mahilig ko sa bb boy.” I was inside the car. No one could see me, except that the car window was open because the air con was off. I did not even go out anymore with you to buy ngohiong but still, you accused me of being like that. You even said that I should be careful with my actions like this because the time will come you will do it to me too. I screamed and even swore in the name and life of my child just so you will believe me, but nothing I did made you believe and instead you said that I am in denial. I told you, you can rebuke me anytime I do things where you see being like this to the point where I had to gaslight myself into normalizing your action.

On April 18, your psychotic episode in San Agustin that I wrote in length—when you accused me and Liam of talking behind your back and said that Liam is lying.

On April 21, even when you already said that you were very sorry, still, you did the same thing. You accused Liam and me that we were meeting people even when we just bought food because my child was hungry.

I had enough.

📍 MY FINAL SAY: FOR THE RECORD, FOR MYSELF I loved you with a kind of love I’ve never known before. The kind that chooses. The kind that stays. The kind that gives, and gives, and gives. I chose you, even when it was hard. I chose you when you doubted me, when you accused, when you made me feel small. I stayed even when my heart was heavy and tired. I stayed when the world told me not to. I believed in us. I believed you could change. I believed my love would be enough.

But I was wrong.

I am not perfect. But I am not a liar. I am not a cheater. I am not what you made me feel I was. I was never out to hurt you. I did not betray you. I was faithful, loyal, supportive, and loving. And now I’m choosing me. Because I deserve a love that doesn’t require me to bleed to prove it’s real. I deserve peace. I deserve trust. I deserve to be safe.

And more than anything—I am a mother. I have a son whose heart I should have protected with everything I had. But I let him live in a house where fear took root, where his innocence had to coexist with your delusions, your suspicions, your outbursts. He heard everytime I pleaded you to believe me. He saw me crying in silence. He sensed every unspoken tension, every slammed door, every time I shrank just to keep the peace. That’s on me—and I carry that with me every day.

You caused me damage, and I stayed. You broke my spirit, and I stayed. But the damage you caused my child? That’s where I draw the line. That’s what I cannot take. No love is worth the trauma of a child. No commitment is worth a young heart losing its sense of safety.

I have a son whose eyes watched me put someone else’s needs above his own. I chose you, even when I should’ve chosen him first. I set aside his well-being, I silenced his discomfort, I ignored the quiet pain he felt in the background of our chaos because I thought if I could just fix things with you, everything would fall into place.

But I see it now. And for that—I am sorry. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. He deserves a mother who is whole. A mother who is soft but strong. A mother who protects him, not just from the world—but from anyone who dares bring darkness into our home.

This is not about revenge. This is about freedom. This is about truth. And this is about hope—that one day, I will heal from everything I never deserved to endure.

And so will he.