Real Life

• "You should use your powers to solve murders." "You mean you want me to play Clue?"
• "I should have known it was a mistake. I mean, he has dead animals in his room for goodness sake!"
• "Mardi Gras is like incest for the Carnival Association."
• "Did you go snorkling while you were there
  
  ?" "Well, the water was 75 degrees, so, Will, the Japanese tourists, and the Yankees were the only ones who went."
• "Question. If two werewolves were to mate would their spawn be called a 'cub'?" "..."
• "OK, I know there's 'vampiress' for a female vampire, but what do you call a child vampire?" "Ooh! How about a 'vamplet'?"

TV/Movies/Etc

• "Booth says the Vicodin makes his furniture friendly." - Bones
• "Maybe I'm so far out of my mind that I've gotten myself all crawled up in yours." - Chuck
• "Shush! It's the FBI; they're dumb, not deaf." - Chuck