XVII. I still write to you everyday in my head. I imagine that letter just dropped in the mailbox is from you – i can see your handwriting. I still lie awake at night and remember my fingers on your stubbly face in the dark.

You gave me a reason. You filled be up with a passion so much that it overflowed my eyesockets and shone in pools on the floor. I knew you were something, but I still dont know what. But I know that you changed me, I will never be the same because I love you now. I will always love you. I think that makes me a traitor and a liar and a cheat, but I still love you anyway.