dates & events

• 09| appointment w/ dra flavia at 3pm

projects/resolutions

• lose 10%

to do

• try to get better lol

read (books/fanfictions/mangas/etc)

• idk

watched (movies/series/animes)

• sure watched some friends lol
• hellsing (1 & 2)
• finished masamune-kun no revenge
• hunter x hunter (1-15)

writing

• burn down

soundtrack

• skin and bones - mariana's trench
• therapy - all time low
• rosary blue - the 69 eyes ft. kat von d
• enjoy the silence - depeche mode
• índios - legião urbana
• túnel do tempo - frejat
• bokuga shinouto omottanoha - amazarashi

about

• 1| started fasting again. it's not so bad after all. but i really want to eat the entire house // UPDATE: smoked a cigarette to be less hungry, so fucked up my goal of having a drug free year. // talked to han and he made me think on what i'm doing but i ended up binge eating instead of having a formal meal. sigh.
• 2| spent all day on jonathans place talking to robson via whatsapp while jow was working. pretty boring. // jonathan said i'm pretty, but fat (or pretty fat?)
• 3| slept almost all day long and there's not much to say. sleeping so much causes me to not to eat so i lose a cosiderable amount of weight.
• 8-10| i've been abusing medicine. like laxatives and diet pills. but hey, i'm losing weight, so that's fine, right? // had appointment with the new psychiatrist. she's nice. she prescripted somne exams. including one... pregnancy blood test............ // han an anxiety crisis right before my appointment w/ dra renata and i cried a lot cause i didn't want to go and jonathan shaked me a lot asking why i was crying. i just... don't want to take buses and walk on the hot sun or go outside // did the pregnancy blood test and i'm so afraid cause i'm never cautious when it comes to sex aaaaaaaaa
• 11| pregnacy blood test results comes today. i'm anxious. // I'M NOT PREGNANT AND MADE A FUCKING SCENE TO GIVE JONATHAN THE NOTICE AND SCARED THE HELL OUT OF HIM JKFCHSFHKSAHFOAHDHA // i've been crying a lot again. i guess it's placebo from thinking that i'm already not taking bupropiona anymore
• 12-15| been playing the sims a lot
• 16-29| i've been so disconnected, actually // my new twitter accont is not making me any better // abusing laxatives and diet pills
• 30| decided to go on healthy diet from now on // dra renata says i'm playing the victim in everything i do in my life (basically)
• 31| OH GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYY // had such a fucking nice day with jonathan (bolinho de bacalhau and yakisoba from the street sale and also supernova and sleeping in the morning and all the cuddling and watching some stuff) but ended up ruining everything crying nonstop because i feel like i have no purpose in life and he says it's not a fucking reason to cry