a practical guide

• firstly, you have to attend to a private school/college
• then you have to accumulate as much as homework, schoolwork, papers, etc.
• they can be ones that must be presented or that you only have to do if you want to do and be something in life (and you don't want it, remember that you wanna kill yourself, you're following the plan)
• keep browsing on the internet and reading books that have nothing to do with the things you study (and buy a lot of those books, you'll never read them but they look and smell pretty good and you heard marvelous things about them)
• get fatter, don't exercise and fight everyday with your datemate because he/she/they want you to get skinnier again. go ahead, reach the +100kg goal
• then you have this sudden epiphany that you want to do something more with your life than just eat chips and chocolate and procrastinate and you really want to have sucess
• and there's only a week and a half for the end of the semester/current textbook and you decide that you're going to finish the past textbook, the current one and and you'll win
• you'll also start to eat right & exercise
• and you'll fix your relationship
• but you cant handle all he pressure and you fail so hard
• then you die