• his voice
• his laugh
• his perfume
• his kisses
• his warmth
• when he puffs when he smokes
• hearing him say I love you and i miss you
• how he makes love to me hard and fast
• hearing him singing out of tune
• the way he looks at me when he kisses me
• his hands on my body

now i realize it's only physical things. i don't remember personal stuff: what he loves to eat, how he takes his coffee, how he looks in the morning, no texts, no dates, only sex.