january

• pretty hectic month of work, i can barely catch a break • slacking off on tv and shows, i hate it when i barely get any downtime from work and real life in general... • ear infection got so bad i had to go to the doctor, thank goodness it's nothing serious i just had to be on antibiotics for a few weeks • running on fumes, caffeine and holding on to the power of music and my obsessive tendencies for dear life • started hanging back later at work, way past clock out time to accompany a colleague who treats it like a second home • intrusive thoughts that occurred consistently what if kami na lang ng colleague kong unmarried and in her 40s and such we could raise her two dogs together when she's straight and rigidly religious • played slay the princess and citizen sleeper in full and had a great time

february

• proud of the kids and what they can put on when they set their minds to it • lots of rethinking abt work and what i'm doing in general • caught myself doing something uttering embarrassing like Yearning, glad we got well soon, but later than preferred. it was so bad, guys • got my sister to cut my hair bc it was getting annoying, i have never loved a hairstyle so much in my life i decide to stick to it as long as my sister is willing to cut it for me • watched my gateway bl this month love for love's sake which entrance into my life was pretty timely. not to be sentimental but a line in there kind of saved my life • best day so far is going to the beach on my dad's birthday and i got to sit watching the most beautiful, orange sunset i've ever seen in my life. those 30 mins was the most peaceful i have ever been. every day i thank my lucky stars we live just where the sun sets in this little island

march

• got into alamat and bini this month, it gets pretty bad? i can't stop thinking abt them. alamat's discography specifically • found my new favorite place that serves japanese food. my left hand was swollen for a few hours after i ate there (too much salt intake? allergic reaction? who knows) but it's worth it • intense patpran obsession ensues, after bingewatching bad buddy in a day, then proceeds to rewatch it immediately afterwards • jogged early with my siblings for the first time in years and we just talked

april

• absolute packed month of work lemme be honest w/ you folks, idk if i can do this anymore. writing this to shake off the anxiety come april 22nd when my boss at work assigns me to report and write on the activity for the department that week. i'm a pretty nervous person so this has been eating me up all week • officially got my sister into alamat that's like one of the greatest accomplishments of my life • "i'm thinking abt writing again" month ushered by writer kit on ao3, everyday i thank patsy for recommending their fic to me. suddenly, i entertain the idea of writing making me happy again • i did try writing seriously, but i'm stumped on a romcom i picked off a fic fest prompt achive & kafkablade character study-ish that took me 8 hours to write 1k words • love reading abt an oomf's thoughts so much they're so funny and well-put • i'm so happy to be reading again, even if it means setting me back even further from my film and tv quota of the year, ily ann liang • with the spirit of literacy possessing me once again, i made a deal w/ myself if i can finish five (5) books in the span of a month, then i can finally buy those physical kyoshi books, wish me luck gents • work had been GRUELLING this month but icb i'm back on stantwt • alamat jao ano ba ang iyong gayuma chariz • caved and repurposed old acct to be alamang acct god bless

may

• the alamat jao gayuma working full swing early it's actually kinda paralyzing, pero kunwari nonchalant kasi alam ko kung paano makipagdeal sa mga caps na 'yan veteran ako d'yan • oh my god, we're soooooo deep in the trenches (alamat jao) trenches folks. it can't get any worse than this • somehow, it did get worse • met some lovely folks in the fandom

june

• spent the entire month rotting in bed, dealing with the consequences of my actions (stanning ppop in general) and knowing just a bit too much • aged up, my brain is finally finished cooking, hope the side of it that handles my finances does soon as well • it has become very clear to me that one of my worst financial decisions this year (being into ppop) is also one of the most emotionally taxing experiences of my life so far, my work doesn't even run me to the ground as much as this one does, god bless sinimulan mo na 'yan

july

• 070724 met alamat. holy shit, great time • more of the same from june, we continue rotting but there's light in the horizon (icb i'm saying this but: work) • fell so badly in love w/ coj and frontman gian bernardino... it's reaching the levels of which i adore alamat jao it's like getting rly bad you guys i'm starting to get scared • i am so behind on the things i'm previously interested in before stanning alamat, i need to do catch-ups as a way to cope

august

• barely able to keep my head above water this whole month. most of what happened were too grim to even recount • thankful for a few people that held my hand thru some of the worst of it, even if they don't know it • fell in love w/ more music this month, which is nice, something to tide me over until i can breathe again • busied myself w/ other things that don't constantly weigh like a ton in my chest • watched pagtatag hellooo • overall a very exhausting month, even more so with work on top of much emotional turmoil

september

• back to literacy, baby. so much i want to read and i'll strive to this month • lagging behind most of the things i have been looking forward for the longest time

october

• what the fuck month • finally met squad supot hello!!!!!!! i love them dearly, cebu chapter will keep trying our best to make potsie move so we can have our monthly debrief, or even more frequent than that! • literally why does it feel like i'm being held up by strings atp in life • what the fuck is wrong w/ this year specifically rly

november

• there was an attempt to dive back into tv, and several others • i nvr truly understood the term "seasonal depression" before and how the gloomy weather could affect one's moods. i do now •