this list went from being called state to misc and now had become a mood tracker

• 0112 | hello. it isnt just a new year, but a new decade as well. i am turning 24 this year and am still learning a lot of things. last year, i had learned two things:
  • to forgive myself for not always living up to my own expectations, stop beating myself up for every single thing ever, understand myself better & be more patient with myself more bc i am still growing and learning and constantly trying my best
  • intent doesnt matter when people are hurt by something. u cant just go around invalidating others' feelings, telling them that they shouldnt feel what they feel just bc "its not what u meant" or "its not ur intention"
  • whats funnier is that this new year and decade had tested me so early but whats different is that, i didnt let them win +
  • i am tired of work making me feel like shit so im clearing up the searches
    • work flop
    • work disband
    • work liliphobic
    • work problematic
    • work uglie
• 0119 | hi so. its 4 minutes to 5 am and i... am going to sleep after writing this update. apparently, it hasnt been a secret that i've always thought that reselling thrifted clothes is a genius-ass business idea since i came across it somewhere on youtube. i've suggested it to so many ppl and this time i (think i) am finally brave enough to actually start make it come alive on my own. i am quite nervous and i am worried about it. its like, the thought that i would never have a permanent set of clothing ever again bc i'm always gonna thrift and just resell things when i dont want them anymore just excites and gives me anxiety at the same time, if that makes sense, lmao. anyways, i need to pay off my card bills and get myself braces this year so lets get this bread, lili.
• 0126 | 2 eaf pts was recently freshly added to my action forms ccms page but i surprisingly dont feel so bad bout it lmao. naynay finally got to pay off at least 3/4 of her utang and i got to partially pay off my card bills. this year been treating me well so far.
• 0210 | literally feeling the absolute worst. i have had a mouth ulcer for like a week now and about 3/4 days ago i woke up to a freaking stiff neck after accidentally sleeping on a pillow. i cant even eat comfortably and my stiff neck is getting worse and worse after sleeping instead of getting better. i woke up literally crying like a baby last night bc it hurt so much i couldnt even move. its so weird bc when im awake, i feel like its getting better and its starting to hurt less but when i sleep, i wake up to feeling even worse as i originally had. i just want my normal life back that has me eating & drinking anything i want freely without worrying if it'll sting, and me getting to turn my head to greet/smile/look at people properly T___T
• 0329 | been a while, and i hope i can actually put everything in here ???
  • currently quarantined and working at home due to recent pandemic outbreak
  • im still not that at ease as i used to be after getting back to my stan twt act, but yoshinocult recently had started a thing and it'd been keeping me preoccupied at the least
  • the weirdest thing is i feel like i should have more time compared to when i had to go to work but i haven't been actually doing something smh
  • idk, this year really be coming for our ass lmao

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