• Fluent Sarcasm

It seems to be mother tongue of all students around campus, I swear. I just cannot clearly tell anymore whether someone's being genuinely sweet or just being an asshole. But I don't in the least bit mind, it's constantly sharpening my already razor sharp wit and sarcastic eloquence. It's awesome.

• Punctuality? What Does That Even Mean?

Nobody ever comes on time. Ever. Ever. Okay, maybe except for MR Todd but he's Canadian and it's built into their social etiquette and stuff so he doesn't count. We had a meeting a couple of days ago, set for 4 o' clock and it did not begin till 5. I am not even joking. And it's acceptable.

• Assignments Can Save Your Sorry Ass

Your sorry, procrastinating ass. It seems to be some sort of unwritten universal rule, assignments are your bestfriend and will get you through the whole semester easy. If you let it, that is. Also, you can still ace an assignment even when you just realized it's due tomorrow and not the next week and it is also 2 in the morning and also you are pissed drunk because some alligator in heat ate your car and your girlfriend left you for a guy with nipple piercings. Okay, that last part I made up but everything else is 100% legit. Assignments = not the devil.