- the riot that takes place during hey you is a flash to the future; that was a hammerskin riot that took place in the two months that control was held. however, at the time, it was just an idea of sorts.
- hey you and is there anybody out there were inspired from the same mood, be it manic and then depressive. i had entirely ran out of energy by is there anybody out there.
- i literally do not remember any of the construction of whatever the is there anybody out there sequence was supposed to be, but i believe it was a blueprint, of sorts, all on accident.
- it was either of headspace or the stadium the first hammer rally took place in. i was too dissociated to tell.
- the shaving escapade was actually a last-ditch effort to feel something. i didn't even notice how many times i nicked myself, i was so numb...
- i lost a lot of time dissociating during this side, i barely recall it.
- bring the boys back home was the father's first appearance after a decades-long dormancy. it kinda broke me
- the version of the father that i had in headspace made his only other appearance at this point. i can only imagine it going something like this.
- due to lack of food, sleep, and general activity, falling backs on the drugs the way i did ended up in a much easier overdose than ever before. comfortably numb had told this story.
- i had been working on comfortably numb before this, but had never finished a demo. one of the demos sounded like this one.
- i barely actually remember what occurred, but i remember... the feeling of being held up by the shoulders, and carpet dragging on my ankles, and being lightheaded and nauseous the whole way.
- i stayed in the hospital for just enough time for me to recover (blame my manager). i hated every second of it; i remember having something akin to a panic attack during my time there that delayed recovery.
- the doctor was close to front the whole time. i kept hearing him laugh, just in the back of my head. he kept me awake, some nights.
- i remember being strapped to the bed during a panic attack so i wouldn't leave or thrash around too much.
- i also barely had a pulse at one point... i don't remember that occurring but i remember being told it, or overhearing it somewhere
- i was in the hospital during christmas. i remember the decorations (i think there was gold garland in or around my room) and a lot of nurses humming carols.
- i was also transferred to a hospital in britain somewhere. i don't remember if the christmas decorations were in an american or british hospital.
oct 7 2019 ∞
apr 16 2020 +
apr 16 2020 +