• How personally I took the 2019 Australia Awards Scholarship failure
  • Unpacking the box of football memorabilia, not just the box but including my lackluster stint as a national youth team athlete
  • My deep fear of being thought of as stupid
  • Hair as a site of anxiety; short hair specifically and the visibility of my queerness, my self-loathing
  • Finding it still difficult to live with my brother Joboy
  • That on my 4th anniversary in government service the most important lessons are still continuations of the ones I learned through sports; trauma was a part of that journey, that story, which I tell myself in order to live
  • How to let go of pain
  • Am I an extrovert?
  • Desire, my most neglected emotion, has something to teach me
  • I want to be perfect all the time
    • I want to be perfect all the time
  • Am I a lesbian?
    • A question I've been afraid of asking since I can't remember when.
  • Desire, that which I have denied myself for so long, is powerful.
  • Be the gay space you wish to see in this world!
  • I am caring.
    • A capacity to care and love is what I admire most about others.
    • Like a 1950s housewife I will give myself and myself and myself until there is nothing left.
  • I've been closeted.
  • How much this long crisis has changed me. I'm gay, I'm an artist. All that you touch you change, all that you change, changes you.
  • The heart can expand.
    • I can hold both heartbreak and pain and love. It can be beautiful.
  • I met someone who makes me question everything I've wanted
  • We only have control of our actions. I choose to act. I choose what to do with my life.
  • Each relationship is unique. The truth between two people is precisely the truth between two people.
    • “An honorable human relationship in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love’ is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.”
    • “Without tenderness, we are all in hell."
  • Reflecting on the past 10 months of this program: I have been brave. (Un)fortunately, bravery is stupidity first before one learns how to play smart
aug 2 2020 ∞
jan 13 2022 +