January

• a less than ideal start of the year with endless coughing fits, sore throat, vomiting and other flu symptoms, lasting two weeks
• living off fresh fruit and vegetables from the market, ginger-lemon smoothies, and copious amounts of tea with honey
• expanding my cooking repertoire: learning to flavour tempeh, tofu & making hummus from scratch
• getting into Agnès Varda and Jacques Tati
• catching up on last year's films with THE LIGHTHOUSE, THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO, JOJO RABBIT, KNIVES OUT & JOKER
• weekly trips to the library after renewing my subscription & reading every day before bed: ELEANOR OLIPHANT IS COMPLETELY FINE & NORMAL PEOPLE

February

• house-sitting for my sister on the weekends, swapping city life for the countryside: taking care of animals, making the most of large spaces (long bathing rituals, attempts at playing piano, singing loudly), the utterly dark and still nights
• seeing LITTLE WOMEN at the cinema with my mother and sister
• continuing the great big 2019 movie catch-up: UNCUT GEMS, 1917, PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE & THE FAREWELL
• having a heart-to-heart with my supervisor, voicing my issues & figuring out a work-around by changing my schedule and job responsibilities
• seeing Sleater-Kinney live, being a few feet away from Carrie Brownstein's signature high kicks and beaming smile and inches from Corin Tucker who handed out guitar picks (though I didn't take any)
• watching John Mulaney and David Byrne be legendary on SNL
• adding new shows to my weekly watching schedule: AVENUE 5, HIGH FIDELITY & ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

March

• continuing my literary exploration of mentally unstable women with THE EDIBLE WOMAN & LITTLE FIRES EVERYWHERE
• growing obsessed with Pamela Adlon and BETTER THINGS
• trying to savour the incipient signs of Spring: the appearance of cherry blossoms, crocuses and daffodils; breathfuls of fresh air and the gentle sunshine on my face after stepping from the bus
• gifting myself new headphones and putting them to good use by therapy-dancing to 80s and 90s songs on the daily
• getting very into new wave: INXS, Ultravox, Depeche Mode etc.
• the surrealistic experience of having the external world reflect my inner anxieties, turmoil and tendency towards self-isolation; basically getting a free pass to escapism, as the world news resembles apocalyptic wasteland
• looking forward to seeing Jimmy Fallon and his kids on THE TONIGHT SHOW: AT HOME EDITION every day

April

• finally discovering Zadie Smith's genius through her masterpiece WHITE TEETH
• watching CATASTROPHE, OZARK & TIGER KING
• sunny strolls around the city and picnics in the park during rare moments of braving the outdoors
• catching up on new albums: CHILDISH GAMBINO, AGNES OBEL, WAXAHATCHEE, THE STROKES & FIONA APPLE
• spending my 27th birthday cleaning my apartment and baking myself a cake (carrot)
• celebrating Easter with my family after two months of social distancing (brunch & egg hunting) and playing outside with my niece and nephew
• trying, failing and then trying and failing again to work on my time management skills

May

• watching the new seasons of AFTER LIFE & DEAD TO ME
• spending Mother's Day with the family in the backyard, surprising my mother and sister with vegan cheesecake, flowers, handwritten cards and Jimmy Fallon's EVERYTHING IS MAMA book
• being contacted by my former employer (with upsetting news about a former co-worker) & getting offered more freelance gigs
• stress getting the better of me once again, with scary physical symptoms, prompting me to (finally) schedule an appointment with a mental health worker
• recovering my mind, getting more focused and reflective and happier and appreciative, trying to find a better balance between working from home, outside in the park and the office
• reading Hanya Yanagihara's A LITTLE LIFE
• having a sisters' night with frozen strawberry margaritas, burritos & nachos
• welcoming the return of rain: the sounds and smells and energy in the air
• treating myself to fresh smoothies & ice cream & sushi & pizza
• discovering a new hideaway at a beautiful spot near my work while walking with co-workers, with a secluded lake, ditches and bridges, abundant greenery and flowers in bloom, vegetable gardens, gardens decorated with garden gnomes and colorful summerhouses

June

• bus rides and getting used to face masks in public transport
• the city slowly coming back to life with cafés and restaurants reopening
• treating myself to new summer dresses and blouses
• playing football, frisbee and badminton in my sister's back yard & playing with water, sand and clay with the kids
• barbecues in the rain and dancing to 60s music on my dad's birthday
• battling hayfever & stress and trying to manage the latter with e-therapy
• watching SPACE FORCE & THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND
• reading PACHINKO

July

• getting into Korean cooking (bibimbap and kimchi)
• having a week off at last, but maintaining high anxiety levels nonetheless, with vision & head problems
• finally getting my eyes and teeth checked after 5+ years
• a movie marathon with my sister & mom, watching GREASE, DIRTY DANCING & FLASHDANCE
• a trip to the woods with my sister, niece & nephew on a rainy day, opting for hot chocolate and apple pie instead of a walk
• taking a road trip and visiting the thermal spa with my parents, having fruit salad and vanilla ice-cream for lunch & beating my mom at scrabble
• rewatching COMMUNITY & FRIENDS and becoming emotionally attached to its characters
• watching old comedies: COMING TO AMERICA, ¡THREE AMIGOS!, DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS, WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S & TOMMY BOY
• reading STATION ELEVEN amidst a pandemic, feeling eerily appropriate and discomforting all the same
• gaining a little financial stability & peace of mind by getting more work hours
• retail therapy & reorganizing my apartment

August

• the return of sunshine and summery feelings
• keeping track of my eating habits & developing an addiction to iced matcha lattes w/ almond milk
• celebrating my niece's 2nd birthday with unicorns, cake, toys, outdoor fun & surprise appearances by my grandmother and uncle
• meeting up with M & E, eating pizza in the park and catching up on each other's lives
• house viewings & trips to the ice cream parlor
• watching OZARK
• going to see TENET, the first movie in theaters in months

September

• working, eating, sleeping, repeat
• having a team-building event at a campsite in the woods with beautiful views, goats, games and a BBQ (and a persistent stress headache)
• babysitting three toddlers (two humans, one dog)
• getting to do more magazine writing at work for a cancer special and doing some interesting interviews
• making tomato soup, butternut squash and parsnip soup, kale mash pots and eating orange chocolate candy
• the first walks through autumnal landscapes during lunch breaks
• revisiting MAD MEN
• developing my crushes on Matthew Perry and Jon Hamm
• watching THE SOCIAL DILEMMA and I'M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS
• listening to the new FLEET FOXES, SUFJAN STEVENS, EVERYTHING EVERYTHING and THE LEMON TWIGS albums
• reading FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE

October

• spending time with the whole family after a long time apart to celebrate my mother's birthday, playing games and frolicking in the woods, having cake and hot chocolate, sleeping over at my parents' house and re-watching Sleepless in Seattle
• rating hot chocolates from different places
• being gifted my dream typewriter from the 60s/70s in absolute mint condition after wishing for one for decades, which my mother picked up at a flea market for € 5

November

• finally reaching nervous breakdown status and having my manager sentence me to taking four days off
• reading WHERE'D YOU GO BERNADETTE and ELEANOR & PARK in a weekend
• watching A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD and SHIRKERS
• taking a Sunday stroll through the park, feeling a sense of oneness with the people and the city
• readjusting to cool weather and watching the landscape change: clear skies, colourful sunsets and tranquil lakes
• getting back into Headspace and mindfulness and trying to let go of my frustrations
• shopping furniture after a generous donation from my mother, so I can finally set up a decent workspace
• having my mind expanded by the Rolling Stones exhibition at my local museum (which I hadn't visited in years) and feeling inspired by the meticulous work and thought that goes into not only their music, but their image/artwork/fashion as well
• watching THE CROWN after everyone's incessant recommendations

December

• obsessing over my new workspace furniture: mahogany desk with painted orange drawer, ochre desk chair, oval-shaped coffee table & typing on my 70s Contessa typewriter
• holiday stress and work stress building up once again
• spending large amounts of money on Christmas presents for family & myself (new laptop, new boots) as a way of stress relief
• getting very into the royals' back stories whilst finishing THE CROWN
• falling in love with Ted Lasso (and Jason Sudeikis)
• reading THE 100-YEAR-OLD WHO CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW AND DISAPPEARED
• ending the year with various ailments, and not much hope for a better year ahead