• sadness of eating the last piece of cake and realising there'll be no more left
• sadness of wanting love but knowing you're not fit for it
• sadness of watching your grandmother cry
• sadness of listening to your best friend despair over the phone
• sadness of not realising you don't have enough money to buy your favourite donut until after you've ordered
• sadness of wanting to go to school but not being able to
• sadness of receiving empty condolences
• sadness of forgetting your dream the moment you wake up
• sadness of trying to replay your dream but feeling it slip through your cognitive fingers
• sadness of not being able to see or talk to your best friend when she leaves for a trip to a foreign country
• sadness of knowing you have a brilliant mind but an equally lazy attitude that prevents it from revealing itself
• sadness of being asked a serious question, in a serious conversation, but end up stuttering and making yourself look like a dimwitted fool
• sadness of suffering from constant hunger and then feeling like puking once faced with food
  • sadness of a shrinking stomach
• sadness of not knowing what to feel after a loved one has passed away
• sadness of wasting away indoors when the weather outside is your favourite
• sadness of reader's block
• sadness of realising that you really are going to turn out just like your mother, who turned out to be just like her mother, who probably turned out to be like her mother
• sadness of realising you are not fit for marriage or any commitment of the sort
• sadness of having your debit card rejected at the counter twice after you've found the perfect blouse on sale at an expensive clothing store
• sadness of watching human beings sit on the backs of horses in the middle of a riot, when you know in your heart that all horses ought to be running free and wild with the wind flowing through their beautiful manes
• sadness of passing by a dog leashed to a tree or post, waiting in great anticipation for their master or mistress to return
• sadness of returning to reality
• sadness of suffering sickness of the soul
• sadness of longing to be touched
• sadness of longing to be held
• sadness of unrequited love
• sadness of seeing your reflection and realising you're just not pretty enough
• sadness of feeling useless
• sadness of seeing the boy you like remain quiet and distant, and not knowing what is the cause
  • sadness of not having the power to find out what is the matter
  • sadness of not being able to touch him
• sadness of being ignored by the boy you like
• sadness of not knowing the colour of the eyes of the boy you like
• sadness of losing the appetite for all food over a long period of time
  • sadness of no longer finding joy in eating
• sadness of having eczema and dry skin
• sadness of chilled marrow and the pain that comes with it
• sadness of reading old lists pertaining to Daddy
• sadness of cheap book binding
• sadness of growing up

I'd like to establish a complementary "types of joy" list, but I'm too afraid. Whether or not my fear stems from the haunting possibility that it could end up being longer than this list, or shorter — I am uncertain. Or, perhaps, happiness is a type of sadness in itself.

• sadness of opening the fridge and finding all your favourite vegetables have gone rotten
• sadness of blowing a major opportunity
  • sadness of understanding that it may have been your last one
• sadness of not being able to stargaze on a clear night
• sadness of being mentally, physically, emotionally drained, and it seems like the story of the person you're instant messaging won't ever end, but you're too tired to tell them to quit it
• sadness of writer's block
• sadness of not having someone to just tell how your day went
• sadness of having only a week left with your best friend before she leaves for three months to attend college in a foreign country
• sadness of being left behind
  • sadness of friends taking their chosen paths into adulthood while you still have half a year of high school to complete
• sadness of having no friend to whisper to at night in a tent of twelve girls
• sadness of allowing petty fears obstruct the way to joy and fulfilment
• sadness of not having enough money to get finished rolls of film developed
• sadness of not having enough time
• sadness of quitting the fight of a worthy cause
• sadness of being convicted of your sins
• sadness of being convicted to do what is right
• sadness of blowing opportunities
• sadness of finishing a good book
• sadness of being second best or not important enough for friends who you care too much about
• sadness of waiting patiently for a time and being left unfulfilled
• sadness of caring too much
• sadness of feeling (in general)
• sadness of having depressive thoughts at 12:10am
• sadness of missing and not being missed
• sadness of giving time and not receiving any
• sadness of empty responses
• sadness of being a hypocrite and knowing it
• sadness of powerlessness
• sadness of fruitless dependency
• sadness of misordered priorities
• sadness of dry conversation
• sadness of not trusting enough in God
• sadness of making wonderful plans with a friend and hoping with all your might that they will come through, even though you know that the excitement of your friend will probably dissolve five minutes after you've parted ways for the day
• sadness of blinding (adj.) happiness
• sadness of finally making that first yawn after a four hour long, quiet, somber, late night talk with your best friend
• sadness of a friend not even hinting at what's going on
• sadness of being relieved of your own burdens, even if for a while, by taking on the burdens of others
• sadness of returning to a dark and sleeping house
• sadness of selfishness
• sadness of realising your own selfishness
  • sadness of not doing anything about it
    • sadness of realising the sadness of not not doing anything about it
• sadness of apologising
• sadness of not apologising even when it is recommended, or necessary
• sadness of thwarted plans
• sadness of buyer's remorse
• sadness of the first time being home alone overnight
• sadness of riding a ferris wheel alone
• sadness of not having enough film to feed your hunger for light
• sadness of pressing on the shutter release for the last frame, knowing there's much more daylight to be spent and captured
• sadness of finally getting an opportunity to buy something nice for your best friend, but then realising you don't know what they would like
• sadness of feeling inadequate by the younger generation's intelligence and talent
• sadness of not being able to be there for a friend when they need you
• sadness of taking joy in the little things that others never gave a thought
• sadness of being an observer
• sadness of being an observer in the real world
  • sadness of being an observer even in your dreams
• sadness of letting fear reign
• sadness of light leaks
• sadness of dying clocks
• sadness of having no covers to sleep with
• sadness of bleeding noses
  • sadness of having a bleeding nose at an inconvenient time
  • sadness of having a bleeding nose in the shower when you're already rushing to an appointment
• sadness of discovering the fraudulent nature of those you once trusted and esteemed
• sadness of weighing body weight
• sadness of the end of an era
• sadness of avoidance
• sadness of missing your best friend
• sadness of the children of divorced parents
• sadness of the children who have to deal with their parents' dead love and subsequent selfishness (or is it selfishness and subsequent dead love?)
• sadness of an affair-ridden life
• sadness of living alone and not having a stash of candy
• sadness of having nobody to give a kiss and hug after you wake up
• sadness of having nobody to give a kiss and hug before you go to sleep
• sadness of social life post-facebook-deactivation
• sadness of not being able to finish all homemade gifts by christmas day
• sadness of not knowing how to write warm and encouraging christmas notes
• sadness of not having the ability to dance
• sadness of living alone and not knowing what to do with the fruit you don't like that's occupying a filled basket sitting on top of your microwave
• sadness of running out of pandesal
• sadness of wearing wet socks
• sadness of forgetting how to cook a meal you once knew
• sadness of yearning to plant your favourite flower when it's the middle of winter
• sadness of knowing you only have a few weeks until you run out of money
• sadness of reading the last page of a good book
• sadness of discovering secrets about friends from other people