- Coffee Beans! I want to jump into a big pile of coffee beans!
- You wrap it up just great.
- That tree is atrocious!
- That's a high quality tie you got on there.
- Megan, you are such a dork!
- Would you like some coffee while you wait?
- 35 minutes later...
- Blood!
- You're gonna die.
- So long...so wrong...world...you...
- That stupid bastard!
- Pepawl...sum mow pepawl...spawkle...
- Awww, he put it away!
- I'm in deep thought...what rhymes with orange?
- Truck!
- 74 minutes left...it's a sad, sad world...
- Hey!
- I gotta get one of these!
- Hey, look at me, I'm a crane!
- Anytime!
- Get off the fence!
- Speedway!
- There's a quote right there.
- I say some of the dumbest shit.
- Road sign!
- Mother fucker! Why do I have to drop every fuckin' cheeseburger I buy?!
- I'm makin' home movies!
- That's MY car!
- I'm talking, I'm narrating, I'm making a story. Kayla's jackin' off.
- That's bound to be wonderful.
- I have behind-the-lens duties.
- Get a Harley!
- I just got a nice shot of your ass!
- If she ever saw this, I'd hafta laugh.
- Do I look like Lil' Kim to you?
- Here's the fence; I'm gonna sit my ass on that.
- You cry all you want, just all you want.
- Hey Megan, how are you? I'm fine. So you wanna go out sometime, Megan? Yeah. Jeff sure as hell never asked me that question. He went to prom! Bastard!
- I got the munchies.
- What the crap!?
- Who says atrocious?
- Nobody likes you.
- ......Ahhhh!
- Soooo.....you're gay?
- No, wait.....you're a girl.
- Squarrrk
- Cuntless bitch!
- What's driving?
- Fuckin cunt licker pussy bitch small dick anus!
- People watch...people look...people are gay.
- God damn hoodlums!....Are the windows open?
- License plate, people. Follow this bitch!
- I should start calling you Martha.
- You don't have a console; that's a plus.
- Slow down, Speed Racer!
- Some people swallow, too!
- You could sell it on the Internet, make good money.
- West Side! Wal-Mart! Ashley!
- I have a truck! A red truck!
- I like to swigen!
- It's like a dog chasing it's tail, only there's no tail and no dog.
- I don't mind!
- Smoke crack, worship Satan!
- She's trying to figure the system. The system. Cause the man's holding her down.
- What if you had a shirt that said Megan Marie Milkshake?
- See, now the tomatoes won't roll away!
- Oven mitt down!
- I had to zip up my pants to put away something I took out.
- I can read your mind...but I don't want to.
- She stole my virginity and sold it on eBay.
- I can! You wanna see me kill, cause I can kill! I'll Kill!
- You can't tame me, I'm a wild pony! Neeeeeeigh!
- That's the gayest thing I've seen all day.
- There's a line and I just crossed it.
- It doesn't quite rival BBQ rib-ette day, but it's a good day.
- That's going in the book.
- Hey...I'm not that stupid.
- No, those are nasty.
- Take it down, pass it around, and you can't get drunk anymore!
- Hey, you wanna see my thing?
- I just want attention.
- King Kong ain't got shit on me!
- I don't get it......Oh, I get it!
- So until that time, you are bound to protect our privates.
- You want a cookie?
- Road Head!
- Dah!
- Check for bumps!
- Purrrrr baby, very purrrrr....
- I should have brought my book.
- The trash disposal companies actually run the country.
- Is that the Wabash?
- It looks like it.
- Well, it's muddy and it's water, so it has to be the Wabash!
- I've always wanted to swim in Jell-o.
- Crikey, It breaks my heart to see dead turtles.
- Oh...my God!
- I'll hafta admit, that is pretty wise of you...Mister Owl.
- Excuse me! It's double joined you fucking handicapped bitch!
- Excuse me, let me get my teeth back in.
- What's a squeel?
- I'm not gonna make up shit to put in the book.
- It feels good...It feels real good...Like pissing on the floor good...
- I'm not immune!
- Stupid Russian!
- And he just kept running. Maybe his name was Steve.
- You're so hurtful! Waaah!
- "Pfft, Shut up?" And that justifies what?
- I don't discriminate, I hate everyone!
- I have a nipple problem.
- I wish i were nice and helped people, but it's 2 minutes to the final bell and I ain't got that in me.
- Erica, that's MY garland!
- I forgot the ears!
- Mr. Risk had a small child.
- That's just what kids do ya for.
- I sentence you to 4 years in a federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison.
- You want a soda?
- If you can't see me, I'm not here.
- It's not the garbage disposal companies that rule the world, it's Cadbury.
- I don't have much respect for people who are dumb.
- How am I gonna get you naked?
- Well, can we be bored later, cause I'm gonna eat.
- Gaurding!
- Don't be afraid to be stupid or you'll be stupid forever.
- Good deal...Moving on...
- Jesus?!
- You know this class, we have all sorts of circular logic...whatever that is.
- You're gay!
- Well, you drove me to it.
- It's cold, let's run!
- Aww, look. Some one killed a pine cone.
- Projectile vomit is not normal.
- I wanna know where you buy your audacity.
- You gotta watch out for those rogue shopping carts.
- Casey just doesn't have the right soul for Metallica.
- I didn't know there were carrots in carrot cake...
- What does Paris have to do with France?
- what is she doing?! She's like, fucking her steering wheel! Ungh, Ungh, MEEP MEEP!!
- I am Nick Mutherfuckin' Amann and I bone hard!
- Let's do that again!
- Why is he sucking on a potato?
- I wish this ceiling was just a little bit higher...
- No fun! No fun on the bus!
- Dear God, I hope it's a serial killer...
- Hey, Bitches!
- I hope you die in a grease fire!
- You're not gonna go around killing people are you?
- It would be so bad if I was schizophrenic.
- You know what happens when a nurse is late? People die.
- Fuck you, cookie!
- I am so not wearing underwear!
- Oh shit! The cookies are done!
- You're like a Cadbury cream egg, cause you're dark and hard on the outside, and soft and sweet on the inside.
- Oh my shitting God!
- Why are we not at IHOP?
- God...Damn...FUCK!
- Brian! Don't do that to the box, Megan's in there!
- Fucking Socrates, will you just shut up...
- Oh no! Not the Nipple Ball!
- I don't wanna awaken the death machine just yet...
- You've never seen Dragonball Z?
- No.
- You sad little girl...
- No, Casey, put her down! Cats are not weapons!
- I just saw the country fried steak and it was like breasts...
- I would sell my body to the night for a comma...
- If Calculus was a small animal, I would shoot it. I'd get a calculus hunting license.
- Mondays were created by the devil so he could shit on you.
- Vodka's like black, it goes with everything.
- Did you try looking under the sofa in HELL?
- There's a little hobo inside us all.
- You don't snap out of Bio-Chemisty.
- He was a Master Debater.
- Never trust anyone over 10 in pigtails.
- That's fuuucked up!
- I wonder where the guys with swords are
- They're seasonal. You know, like prostitutes?
- My stomach hurts.
- Probably from eating my carrots.
- No, it hurt before.
- Maybe you're psychic...
- I love it! Now if it just had a little version of Kevin in it to talk to me when I was lonely, it would be perfect!
- No, then it would be an iPhone.
- It WOULD be an iPhone!
- I know sex so well, they gave me 5 extra points!
- It's like they fisted you with points!
- Say somthin' God, say somethin'!
- We all go down together.
- Megz likes chewing on wood.
- I'm gonna crawl up here and pretend I'm God.
- Snuggies are a cult.
- NO SNITCHIN!
- Free Pat!
- Write me up Motherfucker, Write me up!
- If you don't get up, I'm gonna give you a lap dance, and I don't know how.
- Boning is lame. It gets you babies. Those are bad.
- My vagina is full.
- I've seen most of the internet. It's not a good place. Stay out of there.
- Sometimes, when my phone vibrates in my pocket, it feels like I'm peeing myself.
- You know how when you pee on yourself it itches?
- Mother, he's practically gay!
- My holes hurt.
- You dominate my conscious thought.
- Creepy trees...
- Quote unquote
- Shaky shaky
- This was such a good idea.
- Where did you come from?
- Mailroom...
- What did you say?
- MAILROOM...
- What's that?
- The room where the mail is processed...
- Oh, wrong number...
- Does water have an expiration date?
- ...Like an obscene amount...
- It's Gail.
- Do sumthin'!
- It's Magic, Bitches!
- I just don't know how to respond to you right now...
- So, what's my name? Skip?
- You little Sneak Thief!
mar 12 2009 ∞
aug 3 2011 +