I keep trying to create positive lists but my brain tends to stutter and stall out... I tried to create a "thankful" list but..

• Health:
  • a ever popular "at least you have your health". Except I don't do I? I suppose I should be grateful I don't have cancer or something, and I am I suppose. But honestly, sometimes I think I'd prefer something clear & easy to grasp over a vague, humiliating collection of complications that are nonetheless chipping away at my health and longevity.
  • I am however thankful I can hear and see (altho not well, at least i can) and speak
• Loved ones:
  • I'm never certain if this refers to people you love or that love you. If it's the 2nd, I can't include this either as I'm not sure who does! A few months ago I would have had at least a few I was certain of.. til people started chipping away at this certainty...
  • If it means people you love then I am indeed thankful for them, even the ones who don't love me back: Sara & Eddie & Wayne & Bev & Ash & Brianna & Ron & others..
  • And the people I've lost but was allowed to know: Beth & Bob & Ricky & my grandparents..