growing up is findind out i'm potentially an autistic individual. life hasn't been fun ever since, i hate to find new things about myself /hj. thanks to my two classmates for talking with me about this.

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• stimming
• skin picking. biting nails and cuticules, scratching certain spots.
• verbal communication comes across as too straightforward or rude
• need for parallel play at certain activities.
• often nonverbal communication, except i can't keep for long because people think i'm upset at them and i force myself to speak to put them at ease. rather communicate through texting, writing, drawing. intending on leaarning sign language somewhere in the future
• mild struggle with executive function
• shutdown and meltdown episodes. shutdown was confusing because i have depression, but when i was younger i thought my emotional outbursts were actually ied - intermittent explosive disorder or bipolarity.
• unusual eating and sleeping habits. somewhat of a picky eater?
• mood swings/emotional disregulation
• typical adhd traits, since autism is preceded by adhd.
• self-injury (no eating, no bathing, biting nails) and self-isolation
• strong reactions to minor changes in routine
• repetitive behaviors, liking to have things a certain way
• constantly in-between sensory seeking and avoidant

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• i do not mind being alone most part of the time, i can entertain myself, but i really enjoy other people's company and feel very energized by it.
• alarms for eating, brushing my teeth, drinking water.
• the smell of oat or watermelon soap
• my friend has a plushie made of polystyrene beads, and it is a good stim. i often stim with plushies and odd textures.
• there's no in-between for clothes: i either want it too long and baggy (lsi), or i want it too fit and short (hsi).
• repeating things over and over to remember them.

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• the color purple
• soup or liquid food, some yellow food
• people singing or humming songs
• heavy breathing
• the smell of ketchup and cinnamon
• strong smells in general
• sudden or escalated noise caused by people/crowds
• cluttered spaces
• artificial lighting

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• religion and mythology
• latin-american soup operas
• writing, fiction or otherwise
• swans
• physics and geography
• astronomy, and specifically pluto 134340

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• i miss using headphones outisde, because i really need it. but they broke long ago and i threw them away. i have earbuds now but not really a fan.
• same food include: chesse biscuits, pizza, brazilian lunch.