i need a constant reminder, in neon lights and capital letters, right in the front of my conscience, to not give others more than they give to me. i don't have to enter people's worlds if they're not willing to enter mine as well. i don't have to try to know the interests of others if i can't share mine as well. i always feel like people are not willing to know the things i like, and how much they mean to me. it always feels like this. it always feels like my colleagues/acquaintances are more interest in feeding in to their obsessions, but not mine. some i understand why, it doesn't make me feel less upset. which is okay. i just don't want to victimize myself or feel bad when these things happen.

as i was writing this, my best friend came to my mind. i love her dearly. i'm so thankful, because i have only one life, and i found my soulmate already. it sounds strange but lol, this girl will be my kid's godmother. her family might care about me more than my own family does. i don't know who put her in my path but i'm forever grateful for it.