often, i lose the timing for pda. i've come to the conclusion that i'm very touch-starved but more than that, i'm terrified of it. it makes me panic sometimes, to even think to seek someone's affection this way. i think it's mostly because of my physical traumas... and some other things... but it's traumatic all the same. i'm terrified of hugs, i can't really understand when someone wants to share pda with me, i'm more confused when someone hugs me like we haven't seen each other in ages. like, it's all so scary. i enjoy it at the same time i don't. mostly because i feel like someone, somewhere, is making fun of me for it. so i'd rather say bye without a hug, greet without a hug, keep my arms close and around my body to prevent myself from acting on it.