Foreign cities I've been to.

• Tallinn, Valgjärve, Pärnu (Estonia)
• Stockholm, (Haparanda) (Sweden)
• Playa del Inglés (Gran Canaria)
• Riga, Jurmala (Latvia)
• Rome (Italy)
• Barcelona (Catalonia/Spain)
• Ljubljana, Bled (Slovenia)
• Split, Skradin/Krka, (Zagreb in passing) (Croatia)

• listening to Maria Mena
  • see: All This Time , the most pick-me-uppy Pick-Me-Up Song ever
• or whatever music I'm currently obsessing over
• candles and a dark room
• watching a tv show - especially a familiar, dear one like Gilmore Girls or HIMYM
• song lyrics - reading them or writing them, depends. but especially finding ones that fit my situation perfectly
• taking a shower
• going for a walk
• tea
• this video
• videos of screaming goats

• first airplane ride: when I was 5, with my mom to visit my dad after we moved away
• first airplane ride alone: again to visit my dad after turning 6, which was the youngest age the airline let kids fly alone
• first visit to a foreign country: probably a cruise to Tallinn, Estonia when I was little
• first vacation abroad: the Canary Islands in 2009
• first favorite color: orange, for some reason (one of the very few colors I now hate)
• first hobby: bandy, unless you count the musical play school for kindergarteners I went to
• first career aspiration: a kennel owner
• first film seen in a movie theater: Ice Age, I think
• first kiss: ..at 16, with a girl friend for fun
• first kiss that actually meant something: also at 16, with my first boyfriend. it was bad
• first alcoholic drink: I've probably tasted sips of all kinds of wines and beers during my childhood from mommy's glass but the first actual one ...

AKA things that make me feel happy, pleasantly unreal, excited, hopeful...or just plain good.

• starting a new really good tv show with no hurry anywhere
• finally going to bed when I'm really, really tired
• buying a new book
• sitting in the passenger seat of a car in the dark, watching the city lights
• driving alone at night, when not tired
• feeling like I'm in a movie when listening to music in a car
• watching a powerful and/or moving film in the middle of the night
• rewatching a dear tv show and realizing how much I've missed the characters
• how every time I listen to Maria Mena she proves herself and I fall in love all over again
• being at the movie theater

• the movie theater
• my room (most of the time)
• the bus/train station
• rocky woods
• grass meadows when there's no people in sight
• (empty) playgrounds in the night

• an Australian teens tv show called H2O - it's really bad, but also really addicting
• basic cheesy (and often shitty) romcoms that I keep telling people I strongly dislike - I still keep watching them 'cause they're perfect "brainless entertainment"
• Taylor Swift - honestly I have some of issues with her but her music is catchy as fuck and she has some real songwriting talent. also she's cute af
• singing along to tv show opening theme songs - I also try to learn them as fast as I can when starting a new one. (gossip girl's talking opening is my favorite - it took me forever to perfect the timing and the tone)
• Zoo Tycoon - I used to play it as a kid and then found the cd about a year back and got totally addicted. nowadays I have a habit of revisiting it from time to time...

as in things that I find interesting, that I would like to learn more about or in some cases study, etc.

• psychology - social psychology to be precise, human behaviour sciences, mental disorders, that kind of thing
• Antarctica - I have an endless fascination with the idea that there's a whole continent that's still mostly covered in ice and is free of any permanent human residents... also, there's penguins. and a lake called 90 Degrees East under the ice. how cool is that?

• "Never regret something that once made you smile."
• "When words fail, music speaks."
• "It hurts because it mattered."
• "Some people believe in God, I believe in music. You know - some people pray, I turn up the radio."
• "Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
• "Every song ends, is that any reason not to enjoy the music?"
• "Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up, but there’s a day when you realize that you’re not just a survivor, you’re a warrior. You’re tougher than anything it throws your way."
• "Love is a human experience, not a political statement."
• "Sometimes surviving is about all the living I can handle."

• Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
• Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
• Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn't know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his...

still running shows

• 911 (5)
• All-American (5)
• Better Call Saul (5)
• Big Little Lies
• Chicago Fire
• Chicago Med (?)
• Dead to Me
• Dive Club
• Dollface (1)
• Elite (4)
• Emily in Paris ()
• Everyone is Doing Great
• Ginny & Georgia
• Good Trouble
• Heartland
• Heartstopper
• Killing Eve (2)
• Love, Victor
• Nancy Drew (2x7)
• Not Dead Yet

i like the way these words roll off the tongue. not necessarily their meaning. i felt the need to specify.

• cardiac arrest
• collide
• dragonfly
• oblivion
• revenge
• serenity
• silence
• starstruck

• Amy Santiago (Brooklyn 99)
• Terry Jeffords (Brooklyn 99)
• Gabrielle Solis (Desperate Housewives)
• Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
• Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
• Annabeth Nass (Hart of Dixie)
• Zoe Hart (Hart of Dixie)
• Gunnar Scott (Nashville)
• Juliette Barnes (Nashville)
• Scarlett O'Connor (Nashville)
• Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)
• Haley James Scott (One Tree Hill)
• Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)
• Cassie Ainsworth (Skins)
• Emily Fitch (Skins)
• Maxxie Oliver (Skins)
• Mini McGuinness (Skins)
• Naomi Campbell (Skins)
• Lydia Martin (Teen Wolf)
• Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)
• Clarke Griffin (The 100)

• Brooklyn 99
  • Jake & Amy
• Chicago Fire
  • Dawson & Mills !
• Friday Night Lights
  • Tim & Lyla
• Friends
  • Monica & Chandler
• Gilmore Girls
  • Lorelai & Luke
  • Rory & Jess (: The Later Years. what could've been..)
  • Rory & Logan (sort of. on & off)
• Gossip Girl
  • Dan & Blair

psa, this list is totally based on looks only, and my list of favorite actors is very different. just sayin

• Jensen Ackles
• Christian Bale
• Matt Barr
• Jean-Luc Bilodeau
• Tyler Blackburn
• Matt Bomer
• Dylan Bruce
• Chace Crawford
• Matt Czuchry
• Chris Evans
• Colin Ford (I feel a little weird about this one 'cause he's so young, but then again I'm only a year older so it's okay..right?)
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt
• Ryan Gosling
• Garrett Hedlund
• Mitch Hewer

reminder: just like the dude list, this one is based on just looks. which is why it's so friggin long, because pretty girls are everywhere, and why i've tried to narrow it down to those who to me have that, you know the thing, the special something thingy? that. yeah.

• Candice Accola
• Odette Annable
• Marie Avgeropoulos
• Kristen Bell
• Chloe Bennet
• Ashley Benson
• Rachel Bilson
• Alexis Bledel
• Hilarie Burton
• Sophia Bush
• Katie Cassidy
• Emilia Clarke
• Klariza Clayton
• Abbie Cobb
• Lauren Cohan

the saddest songs I know/my favorite ones of them. and yes, some are really sad for obvious reasons and others more for personal reasons.

• AFI - The Leaving Song
• Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss - Whiskey Lullaby
• Coldplay - Fix You
• Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color
• Jem - Missing You
• Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me
• Kill Hannah - Scream
• Maria Mena - Sorry
• My Chemical Romance - Demolition Lovers
• PMMP - Salla Tahtoo Siivet
• Rise Against - Make It Stop (September's Children)
• Shinedown - Call Me
• Shinedown - What a Shame
• Stone Sour - Through Glass
• Sum 41 - Pieces

• Alicia
• Alison
• Amanda
• Cassidy
• Cherie
• Christian
• Daniel
• Dylan
• Hailey
• Jillian
• Jiri
• Krista
• Linnea
• Logan
• Marissa
• Michelle
• Regina
• Rhea
• Sierra
• Sofia