- waking up increasingly late as the summer progressed 
 
    - driving 280 miles through the southwest with no distraction from the knowledge of my rejection 
 
    - the upsettingly beautiful rockies 
 
    - the depressing state of nevada 
 
    - beginning to actually identify as arab-american 
 
    - watching horror film after horror film because
      
        - i fucking love horror films 
 
        - i want an excuse for my inability to fall asleep 
 
      
  
    - hearing the call come in as i stepped out of the shower
      
        - hearing everyone speak in their hushed, desperate arabic in order to avoid understanding 
 
        - watching them leave for the uc irvine trauma center 
 
        - hearing the news outlets call it a case of domestic violence 
 
        - understanding the depth of damage addiction can cause 
 
      
  
    - realizing the breakup and the stabbing were the same weekend 
 
    - meeting people i care about 
 
    - being forced to put everything into perspective with story after story of terrorism and occupation 
 
    - finally visiting the sears tower and actually exploring the city with people as inexperienced as i was 
 
    - sitting in a chair with someone for two hours and talking filterlessly with the knowledge that we probably will never see each other again 
 
    - feeling safe and at home with people i've known for two weeks 
 
    - watching them leave after their flights had been delayed because of the possibility of a fucking terrorist attack 
 
    - realizing there's no real end in sight 
 
    - discussing bioethics on the plane 
 
    - being a witness to someone else's insomnia 
 
    - wORLD'S LARGEST DISNEY STORE 
 
    - learning about the wonders of red velvet 
 
    - tower of terror 
 
    - performing at disney world like wow holy shit 
 
    - making flashcard after flashcard 
 
    - learning how to increase 
 
    - "all roads lead to here" 
 
    - spheeyore (spherical eeyore) 
 
    - 95 degree heat, 60% humidity 
 
    - belonging to the group i've belonged to for a year 
 
    - watching the fireworks & being overwhelmed by the excess & waste & love i don't feel and feeling my heart speed up and needing to keep it together until we got back to the hotel
      
        - actually postponing a panic attack?? 
 
      
  
    - legitimately growing as a musician 
 
    - cards against humanity with an adult chaperone 
 
    - a $50 gift i desperately wanted when i already owe him the world 
 
  
            aug 9 2014 ∞
 dec 17 2015 +