- deliquescence is not as poetic as it sounds; it should be the creation of affection out of an empty feeling of brokenness and beauty but I guess salt and liquid are as much a part of that feeling as any other poetically teenage bullshit.
- it's so easy to view things in the clearest, most land-focused lens when you're detached from the human heart of the fighting.
- things i want to say to the person who ruined everything in a 100% destructive way
- you stopped seeing me as a person. that's inexcusable. i know you grew up, but that was never really the problem. i was so used to avoiding you because i couldn't escape you and i will never apologize for that. three years later it was a hard habit to break, even as i learned to love you enough to not want to die.
- i wasn't using you to not hate myself. i really wasn't. but on the other hand, i think that's all love really is.
- if it makes you feel any better, i can't feel without your stupid voice, and even though i laugh along with everyone else at your disgusting desperation i know what you did is not really funny.
- things i want to say to the person who ruined everything in the most productive way possible.
- you're right, i don't love, but don't you dare tell me i'm jealous when you've only ever identified with betrayal, a handshake, and a pair of red browline glasses.
- you're a motherfucking leaf. i could never, ever trace all the connections regardless of how many times i ran my finger over the ridges. i ripped those leaves apart as finely as i could.
- things i want to say to the person who never ruined (or improved) anything
- you spit out an endless stream of venom, boiling over with aggression and desperation, but somehow, you, the one whose friends quietly hated me for nothing more than who i was, ended up near me. we were friends. music, i guess. you identify so closely with things you recognize in yourself that you become attached to things that can't attach back. i hope i didn't ruin it with the honesty i tried so hard to make safe for you.
- things i want to say to the person who will ruin everything
- i don't know why i'm so anxious to impress you. maybe it's your familiarity with the way time stretches ahead of us like the glowing of the alarm clock or the screaming that drowns out everything that might have made life worth living or the way you use exclamation points to make people think you're not numb but no matter what it is i seem to feel it too despite an exterior of capriciousness and ignorance. i'm sorry for not being good enough, and i'm sorry for not being invested.
sep 25 2014 ∞
oct 6 2016 +