11/6/09

• (941): I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
• (214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
  • (1-214): Mike i'm at church right now...

11/5/09

• (714): thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
• (315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
• (773): I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
• (513): it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
• (310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."

11/4/09

• (705): You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "ya'll ready for this".
• (570): I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
• (608): and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

11/3/09

• (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How am I supposed to eat raw toast?
  • (404): You mean bread?

11/2/09

• (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
• (513) You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
• (608) You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
  • (1-608) I like taco bell too

11/1/09

• (215): The guy I was getting with last night took of his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
• (617): i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
• (949): I have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexipialadamnit
• (770): Fuck their fairytale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
• (336): The red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn business, good bye childhood