• in this timeline my attempt failed and i obviously came out of it alive.
• i still had BPD, my paranoia about poisoning in particular was nearly nonexistent.
• at some point i had to pretend that i knew evan and were friends and it was hell.
• zoe and i were anxiously distant after my attempt and thats my strongest memory with her here.

• Dolokhov and I were close? Really close oof
• We were basically 'not gay' 'totally not fucking' in a society that would have had us castrated and more if that became public at all
• During the ball with Natasha I remember smiling at her and looking up to make direct eye contact with Dolokhov across the room
• He followed me during the ball? Quite frequently
• I remember very specifically that whenever I kissed Natasha I would make a point to touch her jawline and I think she leaned 3/4 of the way towards me whenever I did
• I did love her but it wasn't what should have happened
• When Dolokhov got shot I tried to pick him up but he shoved me off like a stubborn...

• my mother may have been named Rachel Anne Heere? she wore a lot of light blue and had that like vintage roller pin curl thing, or she had her hair flat ironed.
• i think my christine was ace, as well as likely autistic
• at some point after i got the SQUIP and was ignoring michael, he kissed me in the hallway in front of my Popular Friends and there was some yelling and it was embarrassing af
• michael took me on a date to get boba tea yeet
• rich and jake were in the hallway talking like three feet apart and i walked by them, and i guess my elbow clipped a book rich had in his hand?? it knocked onto the ground and he just stared at the book, and then me. so i sprinted off in the other direction hAh
• my SQUIP, at some point, was sitting at m...

In this timeline I was ?? dating Matthew Murdock, it's complicated.

tbh I have a lot of smaller memories for this one, but because they're mainly about Matthew and I, they feel too personal to just give out. shoot me a dm if you want to talk about mems, though.

• my mom once hit? flicked? someone because they tried picking me up without asking first
• my mom carried me almost everywhere while she could okay
• i found out about laurens through discovering the letters between him and my father in what im guessing was the attic. i asked my mother about who john laurens was and i think i made up some excuse and i was given a brief hushed statement about how he was someone my father was friends with and how he died in battle.
• i was closer with my mother than i was with my father but hOT DAMN IF I DIDNT TRY EVERY SECOND TO BE JUST LIKE HIM
• i actually did so much research on laurens just for him to become my no.1# role model (what would John Laurens do)
• i heard John Laurens was loud so i decided to be loud too

• i had BPD and frequently went into periods of paranoia involving those close to me either spying on me or trying to poison me at times.
• i remember that i had a lot of comfort foods? like white cheddar macncheese i think was one.
• i think either i knew alana a while back or she tutored me in something. i remember sitting in a library with her and snapping at her before she got upset and left i guess?
• me and my evan weren't really that close? we w e r e, kind of, but i got pretty distant, it's complicated.
• i was on a park bench when i tried to kill myself, i went into a coma? maybe?
• zoe ended up flipping out on evan saying that she 'had to pull the plug' at some point with no background context.