• replace this text with your list
• begin each item with an asterisk

it’s an avarice of experience. it’s not about money or material possessions. it’s about memories, emotions, moments in time. the fear of losing them, the compulsion to hold on. the fear of the vacuum (of being depleted).

my mom reminded me, “the universe abhors a vacuum. what happens when your brain becomes a vacuum, when you empty it?” and the answer is that it gets filled again. i will never be without. i can fill my brain with new thoughts and they will not be any less valid or true than the thoughts that came before.

even when i’m directly experiencing something, my experience takes a perspective. i am never objective. i don’t have to fear losing objectivity when it never existed in the first place - i can change my mind and my perspective.

• collections - books, jewelry, buttons/pins, toys, dolls, puppets, crystals, figurines, art supplies, clothes, crocs, various knick-knacks
• psychology, disability & mental health advocacy
• pink & green (as in, the color combo)
• glee, community, & other sitcoms
• little shop & other musicals, as well as songwriting & singing
• maisy mouse & other children's media
• religion, occultism, & esoterica
• the enneagram & other systems of personality typing
• linguistics, including conlangs
• anthropology in general
• sexuality, kink, & fetish
• fantasy, especially fairies
• onomastics, or the study of names
• medieval european history
• animals - cats, dogs, sharks, bats, bugs,...

• apples
• apricots
• avocados
• bananas
• bell pepper
• blackberries
• blueberries
• cantaloupe
• cherries
• coconut
• corn
• cranberry
• cucumber
• figs
• grapes
• honeydew melon
• lemons
• limes
• longan
• mandarins
• mango

• artichokes
• arugula
• asparagus
• bean sprouts
• bok choy
• broccoli
• broccolini
• brussels sprouts
• cabbage
• carrots
• celery
• chard
• collard greens
• corn
• cress
• garlic
• kale
• lettuce
• mustard greens
• onions
• parsnips

• glee
• community
• the good place
• phineas & ferb
• jane the virgin
• schitt’s creek
• jane and the dragon
• maisy
• sesame street

• rachel berry
• abed nadir
• britta perry
• candace flynn
• charlie kelly
• dwight schrute
• chidi anagonye
• ben wyatt
• buster bluth
• maisy mouse

• enneagram
  • 146, the philosopher
  • sx1w2
  • so4w5
  • sp6w5
• meyers-briggs
  • infp-t

• 7:00AM wake up
  • go to the bathroom
  • brush teeth
  • brush hair
  • get dressed
• 7:30AM breakfast
  • morning meds
  • plan day
  • ✔
• 10:00AM snack
  • ✔
• 12:30PM lunch
  • shower if needed
  • ✔
• 2:00PM snack
  • therapy - tuesday/thursday

• sticky rice
• fried tofu
• spring rolls
• pad thai
• yellow curry
• peanut sauce
• mango sticky rice
• rice w longan & coconut milk
• grilled cheese
• salad w goat cheese
• onion rings
• cinnamon roll
• milkshake
• veggie burger
• tempura green beans
• egg bites
• berry parfait
• lemon pound cake
• caprese sandwich
• bagel
• cream cheese danish

ON day = spoons replenished. high energy. eating less, moving more. getting things done. happy and bouncy. excitement, planning, brainstorming, executing. sensory seeking. enjoying music & appreciating beauty. renewed sense of confidence.

OFF day = spoons empty. low energy. procrastinating eating, bingeing. lethargic, resting. sensory avoiding. depressed or just exhausted, maybe in pain/migraine. creature comforts. low executive function/working memory. low self-esteem. hard to keep sleep schedule.

not on, not off day = spoons limited. energy reserved for certain things. making & eating simple meals regularly, can cook more complex. measured. enjoying a calm outing, a meeting, or making some art. working slowly toward goals.

• eat intentionally & intuitively
• prioritize friendship
• attend meetings regularly
• work on the steps
• prioritize sleep
• make my home feel safe and secure
• prioritize oral hygiene - floss daily
• go to therapy regularly
• move my body joyfully
• make time for work, play, and rest
• shoot for 4k+ steps per "ON" day
• stay sober
• stay alive

• blogging
• puppetry
• instrument - tin whistle?
• language - spanish?
• reading
• sewing
• boxing
• swimming
• jogging
• singing
• musical theatre
• journaling
• listening to music
• walking
• creative writing
• tattoo
• collage
• print making
• selling my art - etsy?

• don't anticipate others' needs or expect them to anticipate mine
• avoid making promises and commitments i can’t keep
• let myself be authentic (& autistic)
• be honest when something is wrong
• stand up for myself & others
• hold onto love when i’m alone
• have self-compassion
• accommodate my needs
• ask for clarification when i’m confused - don’t pretend to understand what i don’t understand
• speak kindly & truthfully - avoid gossip and insults
• be my own “person”
• stay sober
• stay alive

• go back to school with accommodations
• get my driver's license
• register to vote
• move to (city redacted)
• apply for disability
• ✔ get my autism dx :D
• buy a car
• schedule and/or have a breast reduction

• athena
• dean
• lili
• rojin
• saffie
• subul

• emotional
• social
• physical
• environmental
• cultural
• occupational
• spiritual
• financial
• creative
• intellectual

• cloudburst a sudden and very heavy rainfall capable of creating flood conditions
• downpour heavy rainfall
• euria basque word for rain
• hyetal of or relating to rain or rainy regions
• indra hindu god of war and storm
• lluvia spanish word for rain
• mizzle a light rain or drizzle; or, to rain lightly
• petrichor the pleasant smell which accompanies the first rain after a dry spell
• pluie french word for rain
• pluviophilia love of the rain
• serein fine rain falling from a clear sky after sunset
• tempest a violent windy storm

• agatha
• agnes
• aila
• aine
• aleda
• allegra
• alys
• amalia
• amelia
• angelica
• bee
• bellflower
• blossom
• celestine
• charlotte
• chrysanthemum
• claudie
• clea
• clove
• copper
• cora