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i am a 17 year old bibliophile.
i have severe nyctophobia.

"you could claim that anything's real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody's proved it doesn't exist."

"so, all of time and space. anything that ever happened or ever will. where do you want to start?"

astrum lux lucis! follows:
dylan books (to read.)
love machine to do (to do.)
crushes (boyfriends.)
hobbies (colors i want to dye my hair.)
a. television (guilty pleasures)

(work in progress.)

  • 200 cigarettes (1999)
  • 3 blind mice (2003)
  • (500) days of summer (2009)
  • (2007)
  • a scanner darkly (2006)
  • a serbian film (2010)
  • a simple wish (1997)
  • alice (1988)
  • all about steve (2009)
  • alpha dog (2006)
  • altered states (1980)
  • alyce (2010)
  • an education (2009)
  • annie hall (1977)
  • antichrist (2009)
jul 10 2010 ∞
aug 21 2010 +
  • matt smith.
  • fuck bitches, eat nutella.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
  • matt smith.
jul 16 2010 ∞
jul 20 2010 +
  • the dark. this is probably my biggest fear.
  • any and all bugs, but mostly spiders.
  • dead asian girls. (this is a legitimate fear. i'm more afraid of them than i am of actual, plausible things.)
  • going into the water at the beach and not seeing what i'm stepping on.
  • my mother dying.
  • losing my three best friends.
  • getting old.
  • wasting my life away doing nothing.
  • the idea of having to be a responsible, self-sufficient adult.
  • mri machines.
  • the paranormal.
  • the idea of pregnancy. (having a living creature inside of you and feeding off of you.)
  • talking to most people on the phone.
  • confined spaces, especially if it's dark....
jun 30 2010 ∞
jun 30 2010 +
  • HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY.
  • narnia.
  • wonderland.
  • looking glass world.
jun 30 2010 ∞
jun 30 2010 +
  • i really like it when you listen to a song and you can hear the singer stop and take a quick breath. it's mostly on acoustic songs. also, when they get that little hitch in their throat. and when you can hear the individual sound of the guitar strings being strummed.
  • i feel really bad when a dog with floppy ears ends up with it's ear flipped kind of inside-out. i always fix it for them.
  • it really upsets me when i say something like "let's go sit outside and watch the rain" and people think it's stupid because watching rain is boring to them.
  • i will never give up hope that magic exists. there's just no explanation for some things in life without magic.
  • i sometimes mimic people's facial expressions when i talk to them. not on purpose, but my face just subconsciously copies theirs.
jun 30 2010 ∞
jun 30 2010 +
  • adam
  • andrew
  • ash
  • basil
  • benji
  • charlie
  • clark
  • connor
  • desmond
  • dexter
  • elliot
  • ezra
  • finn
  • franklin
  • frederico
  • harry
  • jonah / jonas
  • max
  • milo
  • nathaniel / nate
  • noah
aug 17 2010 ∞
aug 18 2010 +
  • go for a hot air balloon ride
  • visit england
  • go camping
  • ride an elephant
  • own / work at a thrift store
  • grow my nails really long
  • get a monroe beauty mark tattooed on
  • adopt a child
  • sleep in a graveyard
  • drop acid
jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 27 2010 +

"in the caverns of tomorrow, with just our flashlights and our love, we must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge."

jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 29 2010 +
  • your ghost - damien rice / lisa hannigan
  • you belong to me - misfits
  • hold me - weezer
  • indie rokkers - mgmt
  • always on my mind - phantom planet
  • all the things she said - t.a.t.u
  • kiss off - the violent femmes
  • crazy on you - heart
  • fox on the run - sweet
jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 27 2010 +
  • fidgeting. i can't sit still. i'm always biting my nails/fingers, tapping my fingers together or on a table, clicking my teeth, pulling on my cardigan sleeves, pulling on the hem of my shirt, twisting my ring, turning my time turner, jiggling my leg, stretching, biting my lips, licking my lips, etc.
  • playing with my hair. i twirl my curls around my fingers, pick at my split ends, ruffle it, rub the ends on my cheeks, tie it in knots, pull it across my upper lip like a mustache, and play with my bangs.
  • clicking my teeth. i always click my teeth to the beat of whatever song is stuck in my head. the left side is the higher pitches, the right is the lower pitches.
  • the number 8. i usually do things in eights. ex: when i scratch a bug bite, it's 8 scratches. if i can't do 8, i resort to 5.
  • aligning the edge of the arrow pointer wi... it matches up especially well to the rig...
jul 19 2010 ∞
jul 19 2010 +
  • a houseboat off the coast of california
  • a big pale-colored victorian house with a forest surrounding it and a small garden
  • a loft apartment anywhere in england
  • a spare room on the top floor of a library
  • a beach house
  • a giant brick colonial house
  • a castle
  • a small, quaint apartment above a flower shop, coffee shop, or book shop in france
jul 2 2010 ∞
jul 2 2010 +
  • angie baby - helen reddy
  • you really got a hold on me - the beatles
  • first day of my life - bright eyes
  • sea and the rhythm - iron and wine
  • to be alone with you - sufjan stevens
  • brighter than sunshine - aqualung
  • hold me - weezer
  • semi-charmed life - third eye blind
  • daydream in blue - i monster
  • i felt your shape - the microphones
  • she's always a woman to me - billy joel
  • feeling this - blink 182
  • crazy on you - heart
  • iris - goo goo dolls
  • you belong to me - the misfits
  • i don't want to miss a thing - aerosmith
  • every little thing she does is magic - the police
  • crazy little thing called love - queen
  • josie - blink182
jun 30 2010 ∞
aug 6 2010 +
  • jellybean / jellyfish
  • elie
  • pb&j
jul 1 2010 ∞
jul 2 2010 +
  • drive a car.
  • speak french.
  • sing.
  • cook.
  • math.
  • use a sewing machine.
  • speak with a british accent.
  • communicate with ghosts.
  • paint the nails on my right hand.
  • talk to strangers.
  • speak to animals like eliza thornberry.
jun 30 2010 ∞
jul 16 2010 +
  • alice
  • amelia
  • amelie
  • basil
  • beatrice / beatrise / beatris
  • bijoux
  • caroline
  • celia / cecilia
  • clark
  • cloe
  • daisy
  • daphnie
  • delilah
  • dinah
  • elise
  • eliza
  • ellen / elinore
  • genevieve
  • janie
  • june
  • jupiter
jun 27 2010 ∞
aug 19 2010 +
  • 3 years old: my grandpa was in the hospital, dying of lung cancer. my mom took me to see him two days before he died. he died, nobody told me, and about a week later we moved. i kept asking "how's grandpa going to find us when he gets out of the hospital?" and my mom wouldn't answer me. we moved a few more times, and it didn't occur to me that he must've died until i was about 5 years old.
  • 5 years old: the kite incident. my parents got divorced when i was 2. my dad never came to visit me. one day, he stops by, gives me a dollar store kite, and leaves. i take it to the playground and start trying to assemble it, which he didn't even stick around for. the sticks were broken. i tried for hours to put it together because i thought i was just doing it wrong.
  • all of the times i peed myself in element...
jun 30 2010 ∞
apr 18 2015 +
  • dye my hair fire engine red
  • move to england when i graduate
  • kill bugs
  • talk to people when i'm on my own
jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 27 2010 +
  • fire
  • midnight pomegranate perfume
  • boy (which is a nice mixture of clean laundry and soap)
  • my cat after he's been napping in the sun
  • puppy breath
  • maybelline royal red lipstick
  • clean hair
  • fireworks
  • cigarette smoke (especially vanilla black & milds)
  • vanilla, almond, and coconut
  • that beach smell (sunscreen, coconuts, salt)
jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 27 2010 +
  • take the sat / act / whatever the fuck exams i have to take to get in to college.
  • try to focus in math class. this is a tough one, especially because i'll be taking two math classes a day.
  • make some acquaintances, at least somebody i can sit with at lunch.
  • don't leave everything til the last minute.
  • start applying for schools at the first possible opportunity.
    • fiu, miami-dade, usf, um, any and every school in florida.
  • do at least one piece of homework for every class a week. as ridiculous as that sounds, i didn't do any homework last year. at all. i wish i was exaggerating.
  • make uniform somewhat tolerable. (jewelery, cardigans, hair, etc.)
  • switch classes as soon as possible. i did...
aug 7 2010 ∞
oct 9 2010 +
  • 3rd rock from the sun
  • alice
  • arrested development (season 2-3, already saw 1.)
  • bored to death
  • chuck
  • community (saw the first 2 episodes.)
  • ctrl
  • curb your enthusiasm
  • daria
  • dexter
  • doctor who (series 1-4, already saw 5.)
  • eureka
  • flight of the conchords
  • freaks and geeks
  • fringe
  • house
  • it's always sunny in philadelphia (season 2-5, already saw 1.)
  • lie to me
  • life as we knew it
jul 19 2010 ∞
oct 24 2010 +
  • tall, skinny, pale
  • long, dark, messy hair
  • boys who smoke
  • crooked smiles
  • shy, sweet, awkward
  • good taste in music
  • v-necks, plaid button down shirts, cardigans, hoodies
  • glasses
  • that clean laundry smell
  • tattoos
  • musicians
  • intellect, literacy, and strong opinions
  • boys who aren't afraid to sing loudly, dance, or do embarrassing things
  • beanies
  • photographers
  • good sense of humor
  • british, french, australian accents
  • boys who put a lot of thought into mixtapes (like 'high fidelity')
jul 3 2010 ∞
jul 7 2010 +
  • hourglass, possibly on my right wrist
  • infinity symbol on the side of one of my left-hand fingers.
  • "all was well" with a lightning bolt
  • exclamatory mark on the knuckle of my right pointer finger
  • bear silhouette (or whatever dylan and i are getting.)
  • an X over my heart with dotted lines leading away from it (like a treasure map.)
  • birds on right shoulder
  • dream catcher between my shoulderblades
  • planet and stars on my left shoulderblade (probably saturn.)
    • or maybe a black hole. or a nebula.
  • something between my breasts. not sure what. maybe a stick of dynamite, a sun, or a small heart.
  • something alice in wonderland related. maybe "curiouser and curiouser!" or "we're ...
jul 1 2010 ∞
jul 2 2010 +

television / movies

  • 11th doctor (doctor who)
  • alex delarge (a clockwork orange)
  • brendan frye (brick)
  • columbus (zombieland)
  • dave lizewski (kick ass)
  • donnie darko (donnie darko)
  • duckie dale (pretty in pink)
  • dwayne hoover (little miss sunshine)
  • eric foreman (that 70's show)
  • finn hudson (glee)
  • gilbert grape (what's eating gilbert grape?)
  • hal hefner (rocket science)
  • j.d (scrubs)
  • joel barish (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind)
  • lex (detroit rock city)
  • matthew kidman (the girl next door)
  • napoleon dynamite
  • peter parker (spiderman)
jul 3 2010 ∞
aug 18 2010 +
  • my fingers- especially my pinkies and my middle fingers. they just bend oddly. i've never broken one, either.
  • my spine- i have scoliosis and my coccyx and final vertebrae are fused together.
  • my teeth- my bottom and top front teeth overlap, kind of like they're hugging.
  • my hips- one of them is higher up than the other one.
  • my entire body, if i place my weight evenly on both my legs- because of the hip thing, one of my legs is slightly shorter than the other one, so i lean to the left. to balance myself out, i usually put all my weight on one leg and slightly bend the other one.
  • my eyesight- my left eye is just your run-of-the-mill nearsighted, but my right eye is basically useless. i can't see close up or far away out of it.
  • my nose- i have one of those bumps on the...
jun 30 2010 ∞
jun 30 2010 +
  • cherry pepsi ice cream floats. (thank you, dylan murphy.)
  • seeing my best friends after a long time and just picking up right where we left off. i'm so unbelievably grateful for them. <3
  • the feeling you get when you finish an amazing book.
  • the paranormal and scaring myself.
  • drops of jupiter - train.
  • not being embarrassed to do weird things in public.
  • dancing spontaneously.
  • staying up forever with your best friend.
  • that i stopped chewing my nails, at least for now.
  • when somebody actually gets what i'm talking about.
  • recommending books and music to somebody that i know will love them.
jun 29 2010 ∞
jun 30 2010 +
  • twilight.
  • people who see me clearly absorbed in a book, yet still feel the need to interrupt me and ask what it's about.
  • bugs, bugs, bugs. they make me cringe.
  • when your straw floats up out of your drink because of the carbonation.
  • cravings you can't satisfy at the time.
  • forgetting things. (i have horrible short-term memory loss.)
  • when people lecture me about grades / my future.
  • leaving a thrift store without buying anything.
  • those days when all of your clothing looks bad on you.
  • going back to miami after having an amazing weekend with my best friends in cape coral.
  • the day after the first day of school.
  • when something looks really nice on someb...
jun 29 2010 ∞
jun 29 2010 +
  • what happens when we die?
  • do other people really exist, or are they figments of my imagination?
  • is the world as we know it just somebody's elaborate dream, like the red king's dream in through the looking glass?
  • are there other planets like earth, with living human beings going about their daily lives?
  • is magic real?
  • do ghosts exist?
  • is there a heaven and a hell?
  • or for that matter, a god of sorts?
jun 27 2010 ∞
jun 27 2010 +